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Home - Television
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Playing the Field - |
‘Farmer Wants a Wife’ makes a mockery of rural romance
by Dean Robbins
“Farmer Wants a Wife” (Wednesday, 8 p.m., CW) cooks up a reality-show fantasy about city women finding true love with a hunky farmer. Matt is right out of central casting, with a square jaw, chivalrous manner and 200 acres in the middle of Missouri. The women clomp through his fields on high heels, hoping to be the fish-out-of-water he chooses. They take hayrides, engage in farm-wife competitions and giggle inanely. None of them can fairly be called a city slicker. Even Matt’s chickens seem more urbane.
If all of the contestants are stupid on “Farmer Wants a Wife,” one of them is stupid and scary. “I fight for men like they do in the Middle East,” says Josie. “Before someone blows me up, I blow them up.”
Even suicide bombers might find that a sick metaphor for courtship. But Josie is just getting warmed up. She calls the lone black contestant “low class and ghetto,” suggests that the farm be burned down for the insurance money, and urges Jews and Christians to band together to bring on Armageddon.
Farmer Wants a Psychopath? |
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Ex Factor - |
Former president John Adams broods on the past in an emotional finale
by Dean Robbins
The furor dies down in the final episode of John Adams (Sunday, 8 p.m., HBO). The British have been defeated, the United States has been created, and Adams’ epic struggles as ambassador and president are behind him. He is an old man puttering about his farm with stringy white hair, bad teeth and an ever-present scowl. Very little happens over the course of the hour, and yet this is perhaps the richest of the seven episodes.
Much of the credit goes to Paul Giamatti. He creates an unforgettable portrait of an aging titan obsessed with the past. This is no saint, but a conflicted human being who struggles with resentment and regret. He feels neglected, his achievements undervalued. “In some circles I am openly despised,” he groans to wife Abigail (Laura Linney). “In others I am irrelevant.” Abigail rolls her eyes, and so do we.
But a kind of redemption comes as Adams begins a correspondence with old enemy Thomas Jefferson, his only surviving peer from the revolutionary days. He sets aside jealousy and sends a note to Jefferson at Monticello, one melancholy genius to another. “You and I are not to die until we have explained ourselves to each other,” he writes.
You’ll just have to believe me when I say that a simple exchange of letters is the most moving TV climax you’ll see all year. |
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Old Frankenstein - |
Alec Baldwin interviews an aging Gene Wilder on his mad movie career
by Dean Robbins
One of cable’s deadliest traditions is the interview with a faded old star, conducted by a starchy James Lipton type. The only drama in such shows is waiting to see if either interviewee or host lapses into a coma.
Alec Baldwin’s interview with Gene Wilder in Role Model (Tuesday, 7 p.m., TCM) is altogether different. This isn’t a stiff hour of hero worship, but a lively conversation full of anecdotes and insight. Baldwin is masterful in the interviewer’s role (someone please sign this man up for his own talk show immediately), and Wilder responds with candor and eloquence.
He admits to being “a very mixed-up fellow” as a young man. Years of therapy straightened him out, and years of training in the Actors Studio and Broadway productions prepared him for a career in movies. Wilder tells memorable stories about making The Producers, Blazing Saddles, Willy Wonka and Young Frankenstein, the latter featuring his own script. It’s startling to hear this gentle man admit that he worked up Dr. Frankenstein’s maniacal frenzy by tapping into “rage at my first wife.”
Remind me never to marry Gene Wilder.
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Devil's Food - |
‘Hell’s Kitchen’ makes Satan smile
By Dean Robbins
“Hell’s Kitchen” (Tuesday, 8 p.m., Fox) has always gone over the top, but the cooking show’s new season finds a way over the top of the top. In the intro, mean English chef Gordon Ramsay is styled as “The Dark Lord” and the contestants as “warriors” who must battle him in the bowels of hell. Demonic music blares, and flames erupt on the TV screen. You’d never know that the series is really about seasoning veal correctly.
In the first episode, the 15 contestants have 45 minutes to cook Ramsay their signature dish. He goes from plate to plate, insulting the chef. “That tells me a lot about you: simple, plain, blond, boring.” Actually, “boring” is Ramsay’s version of high praise. Most of the time he spits out the food and tells the chef to “piss off.” After tasting one man’s dish, he makes a show of vomiting.
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Take My Money - |
Scams are a thing of beauty in ‘The Riches’
by Dean Robbins
The new season of “The Riches” (Tuesday, 9 p.m., FX) is pure pleasure. Our heroes — if you want to call them that — are a family of “travelers.” They’re con artists who move from place to place, fleecing the locals for as long as they can. Inevitably the scams go sour, but that’s when this crew is at its best. They improvise, work the angles and squirm free. They’re so good that we can’t help but root for them and against the innocent victims.
This week, the family recovers from the latest disaster. Mom (Minnie Driver) and Dad (Eddie Izzard) had taken on the identities of dead yuppies in Eden Falls, Texas, living high on the hog. But murder and blackmail drive Mom and the kids out of town while Dad cleans up the bloody mess. The partial crew lands in another Texas town full of suckers and prepares to charm them out of their money.
I found myself falling for the family just as hard as the townsfolk did. At the end of the episode, my wallet was gone and my TV was missing four channels. |
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Foundering Father - |
‘John Adams’ is less than revolutionary
by Dean Robbins
I’m a major John Adams fan — one of those who think the brilliant revolutionary leader got cheated out of a spot on Mount Rushmore. So I’m the perfect audience for HBO’s “John Adams” (Sunday, 7 p.m.), a seven-part dramatization executive produced by Tom Hanks and based on David McCullough’s biography.
Imagine my dismay to find that part one essentially turns Adams into a Mount Rushmore bust. McCullough’s book pulled too hard for its subject (as if he needed any help earning our respect), and the episode follows suit by making him a saint in a three-cornered hat. In the title role, Paul Giamatti has nothing to do but flash a steely gaze. |
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Sex, Sleaze, Scandal - |
‘Dirt’ has the lowdown on celebrity gossip
by Dean Robbins
“Dirt” (Sunday, 9 p.m., FX) digs into the filth that covers us all. It’s about our gossipy celebrity culture: the stars who misbehave, the press that glorifies and debases them, and the rest of us, who eat it all up. Lucy Spiller (Courteney Cox) is the hardball editor of Dirt Now, which gets its scoops by hook or by crook. She wears high-heel boots and a perpetual sneer, looking down her nose at the naughty celebrities who pay her bills.
Cox creates a brilliant character here. Lucy has been hardened by this sick little world of ours, and she enjoys her mastery over it. Every once in a while we see a glimpse of humanity behind her sarcastic shell — or do we? Lucy’s next withering one-liner comes so quickly that it’s hard to tell. |
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TV’s Sickest Show - |
Unhitched’ pushes the sitcom genre to the edge
by Dean Robbins
At first glance, “Unhitched” (Sunday, 8:30 p.m., Fox) seems like a standard sitcom. A guy splits up with his wife and awkwardly wades into the dating pool. He and his single friends have all sorts of wacky adventures.
At second glance, “Unhitched” seems like the most depraved series ever aired in prime time. It’s created by the Farrelly Brothers, specialists in gross-out films like There’s Something About Mary and Dumb and Dumber. While outwardly following sitcom conventions, they throw in enough sick stuff to put Fox’s Standards and Practices Department on red alert.
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Heavy metal - |
Terminator brings killer robots to TV
by Dean Robbins
For my New Year’s resolution in 2007, I vowed to trash every adaptation from one medium to another. I gave thumbs down to TV series turned into movies and movies turned into TV series. But that can’t be my New Year’s resolution for ’08, because “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles” (Sunday, 7 p.m., Fox) rocks! |
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Home for the Holiday - |
How to have a rockin’ New Year’s Eve in your living room
by Dean Robbins
As much as I’d like to go out on New Year’s Eve, I feel obligated to stay home watching TV as a service to my readers. (I also have nothing better to do.) Luckily, the night is filled with wonders, offering something for everyone. Well, everything except human companionship. |
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Queens of Spleen - |
Nasty mother-daughter teams compete in the pageant series ‘Crowned’
by Dean Robbins
I love beauty pageants for taking themselves so seriously. The straighter they play it, the more unintentionally funny they are. With a name like “Crowned: The Mother of All Pageants” (Wednesday, 8 p.m., CW), I was afraid that this mother-daughter reality series would wink at pageant camp. But folks, I’m thrilled to report that both the CW and the contestants are completely committed to hair helmets, tears, plastered-on smiles, earnest Q&A’s and gender politics out of the 1950s. Let the derisive laughter begin. |
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Racist or Genius? - |
Mr. Warmth ponders Don Rickles’ outrageous
comedy
by Dean Robbins
Don Rickles is a comic institution who requires discussion. Is his act hilarious or racist? Or both?
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Let’s Get Serious - |
‘Battlestar Galactica: Razor’ has a fearsome solemnity
by Dean Robbins
I always thought Sci Fi’s ‘Battlestar Galactica’ was a downer. It shot for “solemn” and ended up just depressing and dull. But a two-hour special episode called ‘Battlestar Galactica: Razor’ (Saturday, 8 p.m.) has won me over. It is solemn, in the best way: a tale of warriors enduring the onslaught of an evil enemy. |
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Don’t Make Me Laugh - |
‘Family Guy’ 100th episode no funnier
than the other 99
by Dean Robbins
Ilove the crude animated series “South Park” and “The Simpsons.” So why do I hate the crude animated series “Family Guy” (Sunday, 8 p.m., Fox)? I watched the special 100th episode to compare and contrast. Yes, all three series satirize American family values. But “South Park” and “The Simpsons” do so with wit. Here’s the best punchline “Family Guy” can come up with: “This is a bigger waste of time than Ringo’s songwriting!” |
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Rotten to the Core - |
‘Dirty Sexy Money’ cleans up a rich
family’s messes
by Dean Robbins
In “Dirty Sexy Money” (Wednesday, 9 p.m., ABC), Nick (Peter Krause) is estranged from his father, the lawyer and all-purpose fixer for New York City’s wealthy Darling family. Nick grew up among the spoiled Darling children and learned to despise their tabloid-ready misbehavior. He’s become a lawyer himself, the do-gooding type — but everything changes when his father dies and the Darlings’ patriarch (Donald Sutherland) asks him to be their new fixer. |
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Powers to the People - |
‘Who Wants to Be a Superhero?’ saves the summer season
by Dean Robbins
You can have “Survivor” and “So You Think You Can Dance.” For my money, “Who Wants to Be a Superhero?” (Thursday, 8 p.m., Sci Fi) represents the reality genre at its finest.
Stan Lee, the creative genius behind Marvel Comics, has chosen a group of would-be superheroes in nationwide auditions. They’ve all created alter egos that fit their personalities, complete with costumes and flashy names. They live together in a secret lair and engage in exciting contests that Lee has dreamed up for them. |
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Sci-Fi City - |
In ‘Eureka,’anything can happen, and usually does
by Dean Robbins
I overlooked “Eureka” last year, so please excuse me while I jump on the bandwagon for season two (Tuesday, 8 p.m., Sci Fi). Its’ a perfect mix of sci-fi gimmickry, character-based comedy and good old-fashioned drama. |
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Lose and Win - |
‘Shaq’s Big Challenge’ takes on childhood obesity
by Dean Robbins
I approached “Shaq’s Big Challenge” (Tuesday, 8 p.m., ABC) with trepidation. Basketball star Shaquille O’Neal aims to single-handedly solve America’s childhood-obesity problem, starting with six overweight kids who’ll undergo a Shaq-style boot camp. I expected an overdose of self-congratulation, not to mention an unacceptable level of basketball metaphors.
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‘It’s gonna mean killing Indians’ - |
Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee tells a tragic tale
by Dean Robbins
Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee (Sunday, 8 p.m., HBO) dramatizes Dee Brown’s nonfiction book about the tragic collision of white and Native American culture as the U.S. expanded westward in the late-19th century. It begins with cinematic grandeur as the Sioux defeat Gen. Custer at the Battle of Little Bighorn. A majestic aerial shot shows the warriors on horseback encircling the doomed cavalry. |
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The voice of choice - |
Melinda Doolittle had better win American Idol. Or else
by Dean Robbins
Last year’s American Idol suffered from a lack of really exciting singers. Chris Daughtry, Katharine McPhee and Elliott Yamin were fine, but they didn’t make you want to scream with joy. Taylor Hicks, who wasn’t even fine, finally won the competition. And that made you want to scream in agony.
This season has had a lot of silly distractions. |
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