Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions for January 14

Well, it's a big weekend. Oh, not for movies, those mostly suck right now. I'll be spending 100% of my energy trying to will my Chicago Bears not to blow ass against the inferior but dangerous Seattle Seahawks. Remember, Pete Caroll is a horrible person who feeds off the souls of children. Bear down, Chicago Bears! And I urge you if you are not FROM Seattle or married to Pete Caroll, I sure could use your good wishes going to the Monsters of the Midway.

Right, this is a movie blog. Blah, blah, mediocre superhero movie with Seth Rogen looking skinny (good for him, diabetes is a motherfrakker). Blah, blah, don't see The Dilemma because they chose to keep in a "that's gay" joke and because it's as funny as a "that's gay" joke. I really don't have much else to say about this crappy crop. Well, nothing that can't be said in haiku.

Here's how I see it:

1.) The Green Hornet- $35 million
Skinny Seth Rogen
fights the evil Hans Landa.
And yet...not that cool.

2.) The Dilemma - $16 million
The big dilemma?
What to do with Ron Howard.
I'm thinking swirlies.

3.) True Grit - $12 million
This keeps making cash
Guess the Western is NOT dead
That gets a YEEEE HAAAW!

4.) Little Fockers - $9 million
True Grit will beat this.
Not just this week, but total.
Now THAT'S some justice.

5.) Black Swan - $8 million
A HUNDRED MILLION?!
Is that really possible?
You're damn straight it is.

WILDCARD - Tron Legacy -$7 million
Talk of a sequel
But given its history,
that could take decades.

Okay, that's it. You have a BEARy great weekend, and I'll see you on Monday!

Follow me on Twitter (and root for The Bears).

posted at 11:53 pm
on Friday, January 14th, 2011

COMMENTS

(We're testing Disqus commenting (finally!); please let us know if you have trouble.)

comments powered by Disqus

 

« Previous Page


Cutting Room: V-Day Plans and Oscars Gone Wild

Are you in love and totally broke? Have I gotta a great Valentine’s Day date planned for you! Film Streams just announced an 11-film repertory series featuring Katherine Hepburn and will have a free...

more »


Movieha! Your favorite movie podcast

On Your Radar: Big Game

 

Netflix Roulette:The One I Love Trailer

 

Please sign up for our RSS feed HERE, download our podcasts and rave about us in the comments section of iTunes HERE, follow us...

more »


Cutting Room for January 9, 2015

I’ve never understood the concept of “sister cities.” Like, there’s a city in one part of the world that’s a “sister city” to a city in another part of the world. Somebody get a hold of Maury,...

more »


Omaha’s Red Carpet Selma Premiere

Hey, Hollywood! Yeah, you! You think you’ve got some kinda monopoly on red fabric or what? I’m here to tell you Omaha is doing just fine in red walkable textiles, as Aksarben Cinema is teaming up...

more »


Cutting Room for December 19

In a bit of fun, Charlie Sheen is going to reprise his brief role from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off on ABC’s TV show “The Goldbergs.” The episode is going to be a tribute to the classic John Hughes...

more »







Advanced Search