Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions for January 14

Well, it's a big weekend. Oh, not for movies, those mostly suck right now. I'll be spending 100% of my energy trying to will my Chicago Bears not to blow ass against the inferior but dangerous Seattle Seahawks. Remember, Pete Caroll is a horrible person who feeds off the souls of children. Bear down, Chicago Bears! And I urge you if you are not FROM Seattle or married to Pete Caroll, I sure could use your good wishes going to the Monsters of the Midway.

Right, this is a movie blog. Blah, blah, mediocre superhero movie with Seth Rogen looking skinny (good for him, diabetes is a motherfrakker). Blah, blah, don't see The Dilemma because they chose to keep in a "that's gay" joke and because it's as funny as a "that's gay" joke. I really don't have much else to say about this crappy crop. Well, nothing that can't be said in haiku.

Here's how I see it:

1.) The Green Hornet- $35 million
Skinny Seth Rogen
fights the evil Hans Landa.
And yet...not that cool.

2.) The Dilemma - $16 million
The big dilemma?
What to do with Ron Howard.
I'm thinking swirlies.

3.) True Grit - $12 million
This keeps making cash
Guess the Western is NOT dead
That gets a YEEEE HAAAW!

4.) Little Fockers - $9 million
True Grit will beat this.
Not just this week, but total.
Now THAT'S some justice.

5.) Black Swan - $8 million
A HUNDRED MILLION?!
Is that really possible?
You're damn straight it is.

WILDCARD - Tron Legacy -$7 million
Talk of a sequel
But given its history,
that could take decades.

Okay, that's it. You have a BEARy great weekend, and I'll see you on Monday!

Follow me on Twitter (and root for The Bears).

posted at 11:53 pm
on Friday, January 14th, 2011

COMMENTS

(We're testing Disqus commenting (finally!); please let us know if you have trouble.)

comments powered by Disqus

 

« Previous Page


Cutting Room for August 21, 2015

One of the coolest things that Film Streams does is bring live musicians in to perform a score to silent films. Combining the Alloy Orchestra with a Buster Keaton film like The General is the best...

more »


Movieha! Your Favorite Movie Podcast

Please sign up for our RSS feed HERE, download our podcasts and rave about us in the comments section of iTunes HERE, follow us on Twitter HERE, and become a fan of us on Facebook HERE! You can also...

more »


Movieha! Your favorite movie podcast

Please sign up for our RSS feed HERE, download our podcasts and rave about us in the comments section of iTunes HERE, follow us on Twitter HERE, and become a fan of us on Facebook HERE! You can...

more »


Movieha! Your favorite movie podcast

Please sign up for our RSS feed HERE, download our podcasts and rave about us in the comments section of iTunes HERE, follow us on Twitter HERE, and become a fan of us on Facebook HERE! You can also...

more »


Cutting Room for July 10

Snaps and props to my damn-near home-away-from-home, Aksarben Cinema. They were named the July “Small Business of the Month” by the Greater Omaha Chamber of Commerce, whose name makes me ask if...

more »







Advanced Search