Cutting Room for March 14

  • You may not know this, but in addition to being the owner of a series of unfortunate hairpieces and a private island used primarily for wolf-like moon howling, Nicholas Cage also owns a crap-ton of comic books. In fact, he once owned a copy of the most valuable comic book in the world: “Action Comics Number 1,” which features the first appearance of Superman and is valued at $1.5 million. In 2000, the issue was stolen from Cage, and was found in a storage locker more than a decade later. Now this event is being fictionalized into a movie called Action No. 1. So the question is: Who should play Nicholas Cage? The answer: Nicholas Cage. He will play himself as a mullet-wearing voodoo priest with a porn-stache and Tourette’s syndrome. And it will be glorious.
  • Elle Fanning, who staked her name to the title of “most talented Fanning” with her turn in Super 8, is going to take a nap. That is to say, she’s going to play the Sleeping Beauty in Maleficent, with Angelina Jolie in the titular role. Jolie figures to be dealing with a lot of makeup and computer-generated prosthetics. No, not because she’s playing a witch, but because her weight has dropped so low that she’s officially translucent.
  • Topher Grace, who keeps insisting that he’s not dead, is more than just a seemingly forgotten sit-com star; he’s also a Star Wars addict. Last week he unveiled an 85-minute movie that he personally edited, which was composed of content from all three prequels. Shockingly, the response was overwhelmingly good, a word rarely associated with those three films. While chances are we will never see the finished work, it’s nice to know that a watchable version exists, and we owe it all to the kid from “That 70s Show.”

Cutting Room provides breaking local and national movie news … complete with added sarcasm. Send any relevant information to film@thereader.com. Check out Ryan on Movieha!, a weekly half-hour movie podcast (movieha.libsyn.com/rss), catch him on the radio on CD 105.9 (cd1059.com) on Fridays at around 7:30 a.m. and on KVNO 90.7 (KVNO.org) at 8:30 a.m. on Fridays and follow him on Twitter (twitter.com/thereaderfilm).

posted at 10:52 am
on Wednesday, March 14th, 2012

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