Cutting Room for April 6

  • While theologians and atheists continue to spar over the existence of an eternal creator, The Reader can officially confirm that the devil is 100 percent real. The proof? Ashton Kutcher is teaming up with Justin Bieber in a romantic comedy. No, they won’t play each other’s love interests, as that would be too original and creative. Seriously, Brokeback-ing rom-coms with something like, I don’t know, When Harry Met Harry, would be the shot-in-the-arm this stale genre needs. No, it’s a lame-ass body-swap-type movie, in which a 17-year-old meets the 30-year-old version of himself. Nothing confirms the reality of Satan like the unholy union of Kutcher and Bieber.

  • Stan Lee, creator of Spiderman and thus co-owner of a large part of my heart, is teaming up with Arnold Schwarzenegger to create an animated series called The Governator. You will soon know it by its real name: Unwatchable. The show will attempt meta-humor, as it features his real wife and kids and follows Arnie leaving Californian office to become a superhero. How weird is it that the fictional part is the superhero part and not the part where he ran California?

  • James Cameron is taking a break from actively writing Avatar 2 and 3, a task I assumed would take him the length of a commercial break. He took a trip to what he calls “the real Pandora,” which is the Brazilian rainforest. While there, a friendly local tribe, the Caiapos, made a definite impact, as the egomaniac declared “If I had met the Caiapos before making Avatar, I would certainly have made a better film.” Oh, sure, blame them. They also gave him a tribal name, Krapremp-ti. The Krap part I totally agree with.

Cutting Room provides breaking local and national movie news … complete with added sarcasm. Send any relevant information to .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address). Check out Ryan on the radio on CD 105.9 (Fridays at around 7:30 a.m.), on his blog at thereader.com/film/C19 and on Twitter (twitter.com/thereaderfilm).

posted at 06:16 pm
on Friday, April 08th, 2011

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