Fade to Blackout

The Hangover series can’t end fast enough

The Hangover Part III is so jaw-droppingly terrible, America deserves an explanation. Not because this series has become some nation-defining work of art, but because it sure feels like writer/director Todd Phillips just told everyone who likes his films to go “make sexytime” to  themselves in the most unpleasant of orifices. It isn’t merely unfunny, as unfunny would have been a heaven-sent upgrade. This film plays like depraved fan-fiction used as therapy, in which Phillips gets the last word with critics by flinging poo at them.

The criticism levied against The Hangover Part II was redundancy. Stunningly, the objection wasn’t to the increasingly abhorrent behaviors of Phil (Bradley Cooper), Stu (Ed Helms) and their reluctant friend, Alan (Zach Galifianakis), who is a walking, talking cry for mental health help that people laugh at because of obesity and hair growth. The opening scene is Phillips’ first response to detractors: we see Mr. Chow (Ken Jeong) escape from a Bangkok prison, which indicates a very different tone.

On the way to take Alan to rehab, because emotional retardation is apparently cured at Betty Ford’s Clinic, the gang is stopped by a criminal boss named Marshall (John Goodman), who abducts Doug (Justin Bartha) and tells the trio they must find Chow. The reasoning for this would be laughable but all laughter has been outlawed here. The so-called “Wolfpack” hunts for a minor character incapable of doing major plot work and, along the way, mutilate and kill many animals.

If that last sentence raised your eyebrows: congrats on holding on to basic human decency! In what is clearly a response to PETA’s criticism of the “smoking monkey” character in the last movie, Phillips beheads a giraffe and smothers a rooster to death with a pillow. Later, when two dogs are drugged, seemingly spared the fate of their brethren, we’re told that Chow went back and snapped their necks. Because nothing says comedy like killing pets, am I right, Mike Vick?

If Phillips was attempting to indict his characters and their fans for their willingness to accept darker and darker debauchery, then he isn’t a bad person, he’s just bad at what he does. The end product wasn’t some stroke of genius like the “Seinfeld” finale, in which the morally vacant are held accountable; instead, this is just a laugh-free swim in a sea of deplorable behavior.

Don’t worry, they still find time to show Jeong’s exposed genitals one last time. That Jeong has such a huge role is proof no one understood what made the previous films work. Just like the Cookie Monster now describes the food for which he is named, Ken Jeong is only a “sometimes food.” He works only as a bizarre contrast in small doses; too much will cause diabetes or kill you.

The Hangover Part III is easily the worst film of the summer and the frontrunner for the year’s title. As it turns out, being redundant is far more entertaining than being original when your “original” idea is a swirling supernova of suck.

Grade = F

posted at 10:09 am
on Friday, May 24th, 2013

COMMENTS

(We're testing Facebook commenting (you can login using other services, too); please let us know if you have trouble.)


 

« Previous Page


Slipping Mickey

Gather ‘round kids and hear a story from the days of yore, a time when artists drew cartoons with their actual human hands and not every children’s movie had covert sex jokes for ma and pa to...

more »


Marvel Blockbusts a Cap

With fight choreography pickpocketed from Baryshnikov and more leaping and bounding than Pooh’s friend Tigger on cocaine, Captain America (Chris Evans) makes beating the crap out of bad guys look...

more »


That Ship Cray

They gave the guy who made Requiem for a Dream $150 million to make a movie about Noah’s ark. Huh?! In Requiem, writer/director Darren Aronofsky had Jennifer Connelly connect with another woman via...

more »


Quirking on Something Different

To alter a phrase from Twain, who won’t mind because he’s dead, writer/director Wes Anderson repeated history until he figured out how to rhyme. Barring a brief foray into stop-motion animation,...

more »


Speedy and Irritable

The most important thing to know before attempting to endure the lumbering bore that is Need for Speed is this: every single character in the film is unspeakably dumb. Presumably set in a world...

more »







Advanced Search