Cutting Room for December 29

  • Your Zen question of the day: When does being at the top make you feel like you’re at the bottom? Answer: When you are on TorrentFreak’s list of “Most Pirated Movies of 2010.” Guesses as to what the most frequently stolen movie was, clocking in at more than 16.5 million downloads? If you guessed the most recent Twilight movie, you think about pasty vampires too much. The answer is Avatar,...

entered on 12/28/10 at 08:04 PM | read more »



Thanks for Nothin’, 2010

There are years in film history that have pressed their indelible handprints into our cultural sidewalk, forever changing the way we collectively share and experience cinema. 2010 was not one of those years. 2010 was as unappealing as Facebook status updates from a depressed former high-school acquaintance — “Y won’t anyone luv me?” 2010 was as repetitious as my next sentence. 2010 was...

entered on 12/28/10 at 08:01 PM | read more »



We’re Killing Christian Bale

The Fighter

Look, either we give Christian Bale an Oscar or God knows what he’ll do to himself. Have you seen him in The Fighter? That dude looks like the “after” picture in Satan’s makeover brochure. Bale didn’t just drop weight to play a crackhead, he went full Skeletor up in this bitch. The most shocking acting transformation? He plays a people person.

The Fighter is a movie in which the...

entered on 12/21/10 at 09:41 PM | read more »


Cutting Room for December 22

  • Inside a hollowed-out volcano, in a secret laboratory complete with Tesla coils and a mutated lackey, I’m working on my Top 10 list for the year. I take the whole thing way too seriously, as if there’s a studio executive with gun pressed to his temple murmuring “Please let us top Syrek’s list.” In a few weeks, we’ll see if that fictional man lives or if he Jackson Pollacks his...

entered on 12/21/10 at 09:35 PM | read more »


Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions - 12/17

What a jam-packed weekend!!! I mean, daaaaaaamn. You couldn't have eeked out one of these movies opposite Narnia? With Black Swan going into heavier rotation, there are 3 movies of note...well, two movies of note and Yogi Bear. I'm calling it now: Tron is going to underperform. Not so much so that it's panicville, but it's not going to be the big social thing they were hoping for. The Fighter is...

entered on 12/17/10 at 10:39 AM | read more »


Two drops of awesome and scheduling news

First: Happy Friday. I mean that. Not in some bullcrap, mass-produced, consumer way. I really hope you're having a wonderful "Weekend Eve." Why am I in such a good mood? Let's move to...Second: I'm on vacation starting Monday. Will I blog? Yes. Will it be with the same frequency? Perhaps. Will it be as regular as a fiber-addict's bowel movements? Probably not. Just a word of warning for those who...

entered on 12/17/10 at 10:16 AM | read more »


Ryan’s Junk Drawer for December 16

"With great junk, comes great responsibility" - Better Off Ted

And a good day to you, sinners and miscreants, ne'erdowells and troublemakers! It's a fine Thursday, which means you awoke this morning with thoughts of my junk on your mind. It's okay, I know it's true. Why this is the season that sugarplum fairies dream of my junk. When stockings are stuffed with thoughts of my junk (as opposed to...

entered on 12/16/10 at 10:36 AM | read more »


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Ernest & Celestine

A kids movie for kids with kid jokes and kid themes.

GRADE
B+


Captain America: Winter Soldier

A kinetic crash of conspiracism and costumed crusaders!

GRADE
A-


Noah

Bible school by way of JRR Tolkien and Stephen King.

GRADE
A


The Grand Budapest Hotel

This madcap caper proves Anderson can do things (kinda) different!

GRADE
A


Need for Speed

If you're the "dumber" version of Fast and Furious, you lose.

GRADE
F


300: Rise of an Empire

A prequel, side-quel and sequel with the same style and carnage.

GRADE
B


The Wolf of Wall Street

DiCaprio crackles but the movie fizzles without taking a clear stance on Wall Street excess.

GRADE
B-


Stranger by the Lake

It's a Hitchcock thriller by way of Grindr.

GRADE
C+


That Ship Cray

They gave the guy who made Requiem for a Dream $150 million to make a movie about Noah’s ark. Huh?! In Requiem,...

more »


Quirking on Something Different

To alter a phrase from Twain, who won’t mind because he’s dead, writer/director Wes Anderson repeated history until he...

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Speedy and Irritable

The most important thing to know before attempting to endure the lumbering bore that is Need for Speed is this: every...

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Xerox Xerxes

When director Zack Snyder’s opus of underwear modeling amidst geysers of animated blood, 300, first arrived eight years...

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Cutting Room for March 21

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