We’re Killing Christian Bale

by Ryan Syrek

The Fighter

Look, either we give Christian Bale an Oscar or God knows what he’ll do to himself. Have you seen him in The Fighter? That dude looks like the “after” picture in Satan’s makeover brochure. Bale didn’t just drop weight to play a crackhead, he went full Skeletor up in this bitch. The most shocking acting transformation? He plays a people person.

The Fighter is a movie in which the...

Cutting Room for December 22

by Ryan Syrek

• Inside a hollowed-out volcano, in a secret laboratory complete with Tesla coils and a mutated lackey, I’m working on my Top 10 list for the year. I take the whole thing way too seriously, as if there’s a studio executive with gun pressed to his temple murmuring “Please let us top Syrek’s list.” In a few weeks, we’ll see if that fictional man lives or if he Jackson Pollacks his...

Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions - 12/17

by Ryan Syrek

What a jam-packed weekend!!! I mean, daaaaaaamn. You couldn't have eeked out one of these movies opposite Narnia? With Black Swan going into heavier rotation, there are 3 movies of note...well, two movies of note and Yogi Bear. I'm calling it now: Tron is going to underperform. Not so much so that it's panicville, but it's not going to be the big social thing they were hoping for. The Fighter is...

Two drops of awesome and scheduling news

by Ryan Syrek

First: Happy Friday. I mean that. Not in some bullcrap, mass-produced, consumer way. I really hope you're having a wonderful "Weekend Eve." Why am I in such a good mood? Let's move to...Second: I'm on vacation starting Monday. Will I blog? Yes. Will it be with the same frequency? Perhaps. Will it be as regular as a fiber-addict's bowel movements? Probably not. Just a word of warning for those who...

Ryan’s Junk Drawer for December 16

by Ryan Syrek

"With great junk, comes great responsibility" - Better Off Ted

And a good day to you, sinners and miscreants, ne'erdowells and troublemakers! It's a fine Thursday, which means you awoke this morning with thoughts of my junk on your mind. It's okay, I know it's true. Why this is the season that sugarplum fairies dream of my junk. When stockings are stuffed with thoughts of my junk (as opposed to...

Things You Should Buy Me (Volume 59)

by Ryan Syrek

This is the second to the last Things You Should Buy Me before Christmas. So it's Things You Should Buy Me before Christmas Eve. I am going to assume that most of you have made glorious purchases for me, you just haven't sent them yet because you don't want to ruin the surprise. It's either that or you don't think I've been a good boy this year, and I assure you I have been. In all seriousness,...

Jon Favreau says no, I say yes

by Ryan Syrek

Movie news during the holiday season...pardon me for a second HOLY CRAP CHRISTMAS IS ONLY 10 DAYS AWAY AND I AM WOEFULLY, WOEFULLY UNPREPARED...is really slow. Everyone is winding down, studios are counting piles of money bigger than your house, and nobody really says or does crap. That means we get little notes like these two tiny things:

1.) Jon Favreau is not directing Iron Man 3. This sounds...