What a Crowe wants

by Ryan Syrek

I don't know if it's simply a matter of his size and notorious anger or just because I'm soft-brained, but I imagine that when the cameras stop rolling, Russell Crowe turns into someone who talks like the Incredible Hulk. "Crowe want be left alone! Crowe hungry! Crowe smash! Crowe make poor decisions on films of lesser quality because Crowe not stop to consider the ramifications of what he doing....

After you’re dead, George Lucas will take your soul

by Ryan Syrek

Good Tuesday morning to all of you! George Lucas is now collecting dead human souls.

Sorry, was that too abrupt for you first thing in the morning? Well, too bad. It's true. According to The Toronto Sun, McMidget the Throat Beard is buying the rights to dead actors like Orson Wells in an attempt to use computer voodoo and cyber jackassery to resurrect them, likely to make them sing and dance or...

Box Office Results - Weekend of 12/3/2010

by Ryan Syrek

So, if this is your first time seeing my accuracy for predicting the box office, you're going to want to look away. Normally, I'm pretty decent. You know, I pull down a solid B grade, sometimes get an A. This week, I was like George W. Bush taking a geography quiz, like a Wall Street banker answering morality-based questions, like a blood-stain-covered ax wielder taking a polygraph about the...

Slow weekend, good picture

by Ryan Syrek

Hey all! Hope you had a smashing weekend of awesomeness and fun. I actually spent my weekend doing things that make me far more tired than the things I do during the week...so I'm living in a Bizarro-world where my body is insisting that "me am on weekend." I want to sleep.

The good news is, so does the rest of the world, as the weekend's news items are all piffle. There's some minor buzz about...

Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions - 12/3/2010

by Ryan Syrek

Greetings to blog-thusiasts young and old, new and experienced, attractive and...oh who am I kidding, you're all beautiful to me. This is how we wrap things up for the week: Every Friday I will make box office predictions consisting of the top 5 films (and a wildcard that may make it in). Then, on Monday, I rank myself using a formula that is way to boring for me to explain given how arbitrary...

PTA gets his pinch on

by Ryan Syrek

Happy Friday to ya, folks. Nothing really big percolating this week, so I thought I'd hit you with a goodie that will make at least a few people I know smile ear to ear. Recently, my personal pick for most brilliant writer/director currently above ground, Paul Thomas Anderson (or PTA as his buddies call him...because of his initials, not because he's good at conversations betwixt instructor and...

Ryan’s Junk Drawer for December 2

by Ryan Syrek

With great junk, comes great responsibility - "Better Off Ted"

I know what you're thinking so I'll just say it for you: You have been in desperate need of my junk ever since I took my junk away from you. You've laid awake at night thinking of my junk, dreaming about it. Wondering "When...WHEN GOD? WHEN IS RYAN'S JUNK GOING TO RETURN TO ME?!" The answer, my dear, is not blowing in the wind but...