Cutting Room for April 6

  • While theologians and atheists continue to spar over the existence of an eternal creator, The Reader can officially confirm that the devil is 100 percent real. The proof? Ashton Kutcher is teaming up with Justin Bieber in a romantic comedy. No, they won’t play each other’s love interests, as that would be too original and creative. Seriously, Brokeback-ing rom-coms with something like, I don’t know, When Harry Met Harry, would be the shot-in-the-arm this stale genre needs. No, it’s a lame-ass body-swap-type movie, in which a 17-year-old meets the 30-year-old version of himself. Nothing confirms the reality of Satan like the unholy union of Kutcher and Bieber.

  • Stan Lee, creator of Spiderman and thus co-owner of a large part of my heart, is teaming up with Arnold Schwarzenegger to create an animated series called The Governator. You will soon know it by its real name: Unwatchable. The show will attempt meta-humor, as it features his real wife and kids and follows Arnie leaving Californian office to become a superhero. How weird is it that the fictional part is the superhero part and not the part where he ran California?

  • James Cameron is taking a break from actively writing Avatar 2 and 3, a task I assumed would take him the length of a commercial break. He took a trip to what he calls “the real Pandora,” which is the Brazilian rainforest. While there, a friendly local tribe, the Caiapos, made a definite impact, as the egomaniac declared “If I had met the Caiapos before making Avatar, I would certainly have made a better film.” Oh, sure, blame them. They also gave him a tribal name, Krapremp-ti. The Krap part I totally agree with.

Cutting Room provides breaking local and national movie news … complete with added sarcasm. Send any relevant information to {encode="film@thereader.com" title="film@thereader.com"}. Check out Ryan on the radio on CD 105.9 (Fridays at around 7:30 a.m.), on his blog at thereader.com/film/C19 and on Twitter (twitter.com/thereaderfilm).


entered on 04/08/11 at 10:16 AM | read comments »


Cutting Room for March 30

  • Although I don’t need an excuse to be overly communicative, the University of Nebraska at Omaha is giving me one the last week of April. The school will recognize it as “Communication Week,” and one of the cool happenings during this celebration of all things communicatively connected will take place at the Aksarben Cinema. On Tuesday, April 26 at 5:30 p.m., the theater will screen DuSable to Obama: Chicago’s Black Metropolis, a documentary written by the dean of UNO’s School of Communication, Gail F. Baker. Those who wish to check out this powerful history of Chicago’s African-American community should drop an email to {encode="dbuker@nufoundation.org" title="dbuker@nufoundation.org"}. There. I’ve done my best to communicate the communicative communications of Communication Week.

  • Likely drawn in by the repeating initials, Amy Adams will be Lois Lane in Zack Snyder’s Superman reboot. The lovely thespian will be able to show off a wide range of emotions, including “frightened,” “helpless” and “moderately sassy.” It’s the type of role actresses are drawn to for so many reasons … reasons that can be stacked neatly and handed to a bank teller.

  • In what the uninspired will surely call “Ballet-Gate,” a scandal has erupted over the dancing in Black Swan. A body double named Sarah Lane is claiming that she was actually the body in 95 percent of the full-body dance scenes in Black Swan, making Natalie Portman’s Oscar-winning performance significantly less impressive. The film’s choreographer, Benjamin Millepied, says Natalie did 85 percent of the dancing ... although, it may be hard to trust him because he 100 percent totally knocked-up Natalie Portman. Is this an unknown body double’s attempt to get media attention or have we been hoodwinked? Luckily, nobody really cares.

Cutting Room provides breaking local and national movie news … complete with added sarcasm. Send any relevant information to {encode="film@thereader.com" title="film@thereader.com"}. Check out Ryan on the radio on CD 105.9 (Fridays at around 7:30 a.m.), on his blog at thereader.com/film/C19 and on Twitter (twitter.com/thereaderfilm).


entered on 03/30/11 at 01:39 PM | read comments »


Cutting Room for March 23

  • I think I accidentally mentally combined the two events that Film Streams at the Ruth Sokolof Theater (filmstreams.org) have planned for April 1 to June 16. They’re doing another installment of two film series: “Forever Young Family and Children’s Series” and “Great Directors.” But I’m pretty sure that kids won’t be rushing to see 8 1/2 and that Pete’s Dragon wasn’t a Fellini movie (although I wish it was). For accurate lists of when each series will be showing what, I recommend checking the site and not asking me, as I’m likely to suggest you take the family to go see Satyricon.

  • Attack the Block, a flick in which urban British youth fight aliens, is getting rave reviews and sparking an interesting discussion: Do the thick accents the kids sport warrant subtitles for the wide release? A legion of moviegoers are prone to grab a pitchfork and torch at the thought of reading during movies. However, the potential of hearing “what did he say?” a thousand times and the fact that I have no allergic reaction to seeing words on a screen leaves me hoping they slap some text on this bad boy. Regardless, it’s an interesting discussion, no?

  • Magic Kingdom has been described as Night at the Museum in Disneyland, or as I summarize it, “Oh God … please … no!” But the first draft was written by Ron Moore, who made millions love the reboot of Battlestar Galactica. Now comes word that the rewrite duties will be handled by Pulitzer Prize winner Michael Chabon. This is like that one time that a Nobel Prize-winning physicist made me a sandwich at Subway.

Cutting Room provides breaking local and national movie news … complete with added sarcasm. Send any relevant information to {encode="film@thereader.com" title="film@thereader.com"}. Check out Ryan on the radio on CD 105.9 (Fridays at around 7:30 a.m.), on his blog at thereader.com/film/C19 and on Twitter (twitter.com/thereaderfilm).


entered on 03/23/11 at 03:09 PM | read comments »


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Transcendence

A wildly average film that thinks it is brilliant.

GRADE
C


Ernest & Celestine

A kids movie for kids with kid jokes and kid themes.

GRADE
B+


Captain America: Winter Soldier

A kinetic crash of conspiracism and costumed crusaders!

GRADE
A-


Noah

Bible school by way of JRR Tolkien and Stephen King.

GRADE
A


The Grand Budapest Hotel

This madcap caper proves Anderson can do things (kinda) different!

GRADE
A


Need for Speed

If you're the "dumber" version of Fast and Furious, you lose.

GRADE
F


300: Rise of an Empire

A prequel, side-quel and sequel with the same style and carnage.

GRADE
B


The Wolf of Wall Street

DiCaprio crackles but the movie fizzles without taking a clear stance on Wall Street excess.

GRADE
B-


Marvel Blockbusts a Cap

With fight choreography pickpocketed from Baryshnikov and more leaping and bounding than Pooh’s friend Tigger on cocaine,...

more »


That Ship Cray

They gave the guy who made Requiem for a Dream $150 million to make a movie about Noah’s ark. Huh?! In Requiem,...

more »


Quirking on Something Different

To alter a phrase from Twain, who won’t mind because he’s dead, writer/director Wes Anderson repeated history until he...

more »


Speedy and Irritable

The most important thing to know before attempting to endure the lumbering bore that is Need for Speed is this: every...

more »


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