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On Your Radar: Locke

Netflix Roulette: The Extraordinary Adventures of Adele Blanc-Sec

THE 2014 MOVIEHA-SCERS NOMINATIONS

As promised, below you will find the most prestigious list in history: The first annual nominees for the Movieha-scers, our answer to the Oscars. Please comment below as to who you think should win each race, and we'll let you know this weekend the winners. 

And the nominees are:

Best Film Matt Likes But Pretends to Hate to Piss Ryan Off

  • Ain’t Them Bodies Saints
  • Philomena
  • Frances Ha
  • Before Midnight
  • To the Wonder

Best Quotation

  • “Why don’t you climb back into your rocket and f**k off back to Legoland, you c**t.”  - The World’s End
  • “I hate space.” – Gravity
  • “If you ride like lightning, you’re gonna crash like thunder.” – The Place Beyond the Pines
  • “Look at my shit! I got…I got SHORTS! Every fuckin’ color. I got designer T-shirts. I got gold bullets. Motherfuckin’ VAM-PIRES. I got SCARFACE. On repeat. SCARFACE ON REPEAT. Constant, y’all. I got Escape! Calvin Klein Escape. Mix it up with Calvin Klein. I smell nice!” – Spring Breakers
  • “Some kids... some little kids they wanna grow up to be president, some kids wanna grow up and be doctor y'know? I just wanted to be bad” – Spring Breakers

Best Squee-inducing Moment for Matt

  • Heimdall kills a spaceship – Thor: The Dark World
  • Flying robot punches (all) – Pacific Rim
  • The Meat Monster – John Dies at the End
  • Smaug goes mental – The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
  • Poltergeist rape and Satan castration – This is the End

Worst Movie Other Critics Think Is Good

  • Mud
  • American Hustle
  • Captain Phillips
  • The Spectacular Now
  • The Way Way Back

Best Movie Other Critics Think is Bad

  • Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters
  • Man of Steel
  • Only God Forgives
  • To the Wonder
  • Olympus Has Fallen

Film Most Deserving a Sequel That Won’t Get One

  • The World’s End
  • Beautiful Creatures
  • John Dies at the End
  • Olympus Has Fallen
  • This is the End

Biggest Crush

  • Jennifer Lawrence – American Hustle, The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
  • Shaylene Woodley – The Spectacular Now
  • Britt Marling – The East
  • Amy Seimetz – Upstream Color
  • Amy Adams ­– Man of Steel, American Hustle

Best Performance by an Actor or Actress Matt Should Know the Name of But Can’t Remember

  • The guy who plays the transsexual in Dallas Buyers Club
  • Bilbo from The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
  • The female lead in Ain’t Them Bodies Saints
  • The guy who starred in and wrote/directed Upstream Color
  • The female half of the couple that’s been in Before Midnight, Before Sunrise, and Before Sunset

The Best of the Almost Good

  • Warm Bodies
  • Star Trek: Into Darkness
  • The Great Gatsby
  • Now You See Me
  • American Hustle

Movie Title That Would Be Best Improved By Adding the Words “In The Butt” To It

  • Star Trek Into Darkness In the Butt
  • Best Man Down in the Butt
  • Catching Fire in the Butt
  • Grudge Match in the Butt
  • Machete Kills in the Butt

Please sign up for our RSS feed HERE, download our podcasts and rave about us in the comments section of iTunes HERE, follow us on Twitter HERE, and become a fan of us on Facebook HERE! You can also listen to our bit we do for KVNO radio HERE. And as always, email any comments and concerns to movieha@gmail.com.

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Cutting Room for February 21

  • You remember Ed Norton, right? He’s the guy from the cell phone commercials who was the Hulk for a hot minute. Well, he may not have used up all his acting juju like we thought. This week, it was revealed Eddie will direct and star in Motherless Brooklyn, based on the fantastic Jonathan Lethem novel about a detective with Tourette syndrome. If done right, this could be a riveting neo-noir classic with an unforgettable central character. If done poorly, look for Norton in upcoming Dyson vacuum commercials.
  • We now know who the Fantastic Four will be in the upcoming reboot. Miles Teller will be Mister Fantastic, Kate Mara will be the Invisible Woman, Jamie Bell will be the Thing and Michael B. Jordan will be the Human Torch. Other than the fact that Teller emits some kind of pheromone that makes me hate his stupid face, I’m good with this, most notably Jordan and Mara, who are immensely talented. They play siblings despite being of different races, which is apparently something many people on the Internet didn’t know could happen. Other things commenters on the Internet do not know: tact and kindness.
  • Tina Fey has aced TV but is barely getting a passing grade on the big screen. That could change with The Taliban Shuffle, which is sadly not the most racist dance craze I’ve seen at a wedding. The film will be based on a journalist’s memoir of her time in Afghanistan and Pakistan, because nothing says comedy like Afghanistan and Pakistan.
  • Titus Welliver (the man in black from “Lost”) was talking about his upcoming film, Transformers: Age of Extinction. When talking of the darker tone and violence, he noted “it’s not a kids movie, I’ll tell you that much.” Why would we assume a movie based on a kids toy line would be for kids? To be fair, it’s not only not for kids, it’s not for anyone with taste.

Cutting Room provides breaking local and national movie news … complete with added sarcasm. Send any relevant information to film@thereader.com. Check out Ryan on Movieha!, a weekly half-hour movie podcast (movieha.libsyn.com/rss), catch him on the radio on CD 105.9 (cd1059.com) on Fridays at around 7:30 a.m. and on KVNO 90.7 (KVNO.org) at 8:30 a.m. on Fridays and follow him on Twitter (twitter.com/thereaderfilm).


entered on 02/21/14 at 11:41 AM | read comments »


Movieha! Omaha’s Favorite Movie Podcast

On Your Radar: The Rover

Netflix Roulette: Doughouse

Please sign up for our RSS feed HERE, download our podcasts and rave about us in the comments section of iTunes HERE, follow us on Twitter HERE, and become a fan of us on Facebook HERE! You can also listen to our bit we do for KVNO radio HERE. And as always, email any comments and concerns to movieha@gmail.com.

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Page 5 of 124 pages « First  <  3 4 5 6 7 >  Last »

Transcendence

A wildly average film that thinks it is brilliant.

GRADE
C


Ernest & Celestine

A kids movie for kids with kid jokes and kid themes.

GRADE
B+


Captain America: Winter Soldier

A kinetic crash of conspiracism and costumed crusaders!

GRADE
A-


Noah

Bible school by way of JRR Tolkien and Stephen King.

GRADE
A


The Grand Budapest Hotel

This madcap caper proves Anderson can do things (kinda) different!

GRADE
A


Need for Speed

If you're the "dumber" version of Fast and Furious, you lose.

GRADE
F


300: Rise of an Empire

A prequel, side-quel and sequel with the same style and carnage.

GRADE
B


The Wolf of Wall Street

DiCaprio crackles but the movie fizzles without taking a clear stance on Wall Street excess.

GRADE
B-


Marvel Blockbusts a Cap

With fight choreography pickpocketed from Baryshnikov and more leaping and bounding than Pooh’s friend Tigger on cocaine,...

more »


That Ship Cray

They gave the guy who made Requiem for a Dream $150 million to make a movie about Noah’s ark. Huh?! In Requiem,...

more »


Quirking on Something Different

To alter a phrase from Twain, who won’t mind because he’s dead, writer/director Wes Anderson repeated history until he...

more »


Speedy and Irritable

The most important thing to know before attempting to endure the lumbering bore that is Need for Speed is this: every...

more »


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