What a Crowe wants

I don't know if it's simply a matter of his size and notorious anger or just because I'm soft-brained, but I imagine that when the cameras stop rolling, Russell Crowe turns into someone who talks like the Incredible Hulk. "Crowe want be left alone! Crowe hungry! Crowe smash! Crowe make poor decisions on films of lesser quality because Crowe not stop to consider the ramifications of what he doing....

entered on 12/07/10 at 04:13 PM | read more »


After you’re dead, George Lucas will take your soul

Good Tuesday morning to all of you! George Lucas is now collecting dead human souls.

Sorry, was that too abrupt for you first thing in the morning? Well, too bad. It's true. According to The Toronto Sun, McMidget the Throat Beard is buying the rights to dead actors like Orson Wells in an attempt to use computer voodoo and cyber jackassery to resurrect them, likely to make them sing and dance or...

entered on 12/07/10 at 03:56 PM | read more »


Box Office Results - Weekend of 12/3/2010

So, if this is your first time seeing my accuracy for predicting the box office, you're going to want to look away. Normally, I'm pretty decent. You know, I pull down a solid B grade, sometimes get an A. This week, I was like George W. Bush taking a geography quiz, like a Wall Street banker answering morality-based questions, like a blood-stain-covered ax wielder taking a polygraph about the...

entered on 12/06/10 at 05:55 PM | read more »


Slow weekend, good picture

Hey all! Hope you had a smashing weekend of awesomeness and fun. I actually spent my weekend doing things that make me far more tired than the things I do during the week...so I'm living in a Bizarro-world where my body is insisting that "me am on weekend." I want to sleep.

The good news is, so does the rest of the world, as the weekend's news items are all piffle. There's some minor buzz about...

entered on 12/06/10 at 05:35 PM | read more »


Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions - 12/3/2010

Greetings to blog-thusiasts young and old, new and experienced, attractive and...oh who am I kidding, you're all beautiful to me. This is how we wrap things up for the week: Every Friday I will make box office predictions consisting of the top 5 films (and a wildcard that may make it in). Then, on Monday, I rank myself using a formula that is way to boring for me to explain given how arbitrary...

entered on 12/03/10 at 06:23 PM | read more »


PTA gets his pinch on

Happy Friday to ya, folks. Nothing really big percolating this week, so I thought I'd hit you with a goodie that will make at least a few people I know smile ear to ear. Recently, my personal pick for most brilliant writer/director currently above ground, Paul Thomas Anderson (or PTA as his buddies call him...because of his initials, not because he's good at conversations betwixt instructor and...

entered on 12/03/10 at 06:03 PM | read more »


Ryan’s Junk Drawer for December 2

With great junk, comes great responsibility - "Better Off Ted"

I know what you're thinking so I'll just say it for you: You have been in desperate need of my junk ever since I took my junk away from you. You've laid awake at night thinking of my junk, dreaming about it. Wondering "When...WHEN GOD? WHEN IS RYAN'S JUNK GOING TO RETURN TO ME?!" The answer, my dear, is not blowing in the wind but...

entered on 12/02/10 at 03:50 PM | read more »


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Dear White People

The type of smart, ballsy satire that comes along all too rarely.

GRADE
A



War is hell, but this movie is just hella slow.

GRADE


Dracula Untold

What if Dracula was a superhero?!

GRADE
C


Gone Girl

This thriller has many twists, the biggest of which is that it's kind of a satire.

GRADE
A


The Boxtrolls

A stop-motion romp with near-nekkid trolls and a cross-dressing villain.

GRADE
B-


The Skeleton Twins

A dramedy about suicide elevated by its stars.

GRADE
B


Frank

A band that has a lead singer with a fake head will win your heart.

GRADE
A-


The Adventures of Super Vlad

Left out of the superhero movie party every other studio is throwing, Universal made the ballsy decision to turn Dracula...

more »


Everyone is Awful

Warning to newly engaged couples: Do not see Gone Girl, a movie that makes marriage look like The Hunger Games with slightly...

more »


Swimming in the Laika

From Ray Harryhausen’s Medusa to Henry Selick’s Jack Skellington, stop-motion animation is just frickin’ cool, yo. Maybe...

more »


The Dies That Bind

“Hilarious!” say the trailers! “Really funny!” says the poster. “You are all sick people!” says me.

Yes, in parts, The...

more »


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