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Please Sir, May I Have My Job?

 

How to Have a Magnificent Period

 

Movieha! Your favorite movie podcast

 

Cutting Room

 

Save the World, Do Butt Stuff

 

Oopsie Genius

 

No Big Bang

 

I’m-a Let You Finish, But…

 

How to get Lonely, become Bulletproof, and create World Peace

 

Heaven is Overrated

 

Ryan’s Junk Drawer for January 14

"With great junk, comes great responsibility" - Better Off Ted

It's probably been hard for you to stay focused at work today when you've been wondering when you're going to see my junk. It sneaks up on you sometimes, my junk. You'll just be working away and then, WHAMMO right on your computer screen is all of my junk. What if your boss catches you looking at my junk? Oh, hell, it's worth it, right? To be fair,...


Things You Should Buy Me (Volume 61)

Well, the holidays are officially over, as I'm back to receiving ZERO of the things that I am very clearly and articulately telling people to buy me. My wife actually had to call the help desk at ThinkGeek the other day. When I heard her give our last name, I thought: "Well, now she's about to get some respect, and I'm about to discover that they're waiting to send me a giant shipment of products and various goodies...


Wednesday’s Daily Dump

Hey blog fans, welcome back. Are you excited that I've chosen to hang on to "The Daily Dump?" No? But...but there's so many doody-related jokes that will be inspired by that decision. It's a brown treasure! It's a number one, number two decision! The jokes will just squirt out of me! See, this is a good time, isn't it? I am nothing if not classy. No, wait, it was crude. I'm nothing if not crude. My bad, C-words are...


I Beg to … Mostly Agree

Like the stereotypical Transylvanian numerologist on “Sesame Street,” I am transfixed by counting. Specifically, I am “Call Dr. Drew” addicted to top 10 lists. The best part is getting worked up; like “How dare that critic leave out the brilliant German relationship film Freudenschnitzel?” Sadly, this year most critics agree. Although I find deviations in my personal annual decalogue delightful, there...

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Focus

A "who's conning who" movie that tries to con the audience.

GRADE
C+

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Jupiter Ascending

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Zero Motivation

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