Thanks for Nothin’, 2010

There are years in film history that have pressed their indelible handprints into our cultural sidewalk, forever changing the way we collectively share and experience cinema. 2010 was not one of those years. 2010 was as unappealing as Facebook status updates from a depressed former high-school acquaintance — “Y won’t anyone luv me?” 2010 was as repetitious as my next sentence. 2010 was...

entered on 12/29/10 at 03:01 AM | read more »



We’re Killing Christian Bale

The Fighter

Look, either we give Christian Bale an Oscar or God knows what he’ll do to himself. Have you seen him in The Fighter? That dude looks like the “after” picture in Satan’s makeover brochure. Bale didn’t just drop weight to play a crackhead, he went full Skeletor up in this bitch. The most shocking acting transformation? He plays a people person.

The Fighter is a movie in which the...

entered on 12/22/10 at 04:41 AM | read more »


Cutting Room for December 22

  • Inside a hollowed-out volcano, in a secret laboratory complete with Tesla coils and a mutated lackey, I’m working on my Top 10 list for the year. I take the whole thing way too seriously, as if there’s a studio executive with gun pressed to his temple murmuring “Please let us top Syrek’s list.” In a few weeks, we’ll see if that fictional man lives or if he Jackson Pollacks his...

entered on 12/22/10 at 04:35 AM | read more »


Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions - 12/17

What a jam-packed weekend!!! I mean, daaaaaaamn. You couldn't have eeked out one of these movies opposite Narnia? With Black Swan going into heavier rotation, there are 3 movies of note...well, two movies of note and Yogi Bear. I'm calling it now: Tron is going to underperform. Not so much so that it's panicville, but it's not going to be the big social thing they were hoping for. The Fighter is...

entered on 12/17/10 at 05:39 PM | read more »


Two drops of awesome and scheduling news

First: Happy Friday. I mean that. Not in some bullcrap, mass-produced, consumer way. I really hope you're having a wonderful "Weekend Eve." Why am I in such a good mood? Let's move to...Second: I'm on vacation starting Monday. Will I blog? Yes. Will it be with the same frequency? Perhaps. Will it be as regular as a fiber-addict's bowel movements? Probably not. Just a word of warning for those who...

entered on 12/17/10 at 05:16 PM | read more »


Ryan’s Junk Drawer for December 16

"With great junk, comes great responsibility" - Better Off Ted

And a good day to you, sinners and miscreants, ne'erdowells and troublemakers! It's a fine Thursday, which means you awoke this morning with thoughts of my junk on your mind. It's okay, I know it's true. Why this is the season that sugarplum fairies dream of my junk. When stockings are stuffed with thoughts of my junk (as opposed to...

entered on 12/16/10 at 05:36 PM | read more »


Things You Should Buy Me (Volume 59)

This is the second to the last Things You Should Buy Me before Christmas. So it's Things You Should Buy Me before Christmas Eve. I am going to assume that most of you have made glorious purchases for me, you just haven't sent them yet because you don't want to ruin the surprise. It's either that or you don't think I've been a good boy this year, and I assure you I have been. In all seriousness,...

entered on 12/15/10 at 05:42 PM | read more »


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Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1

Half of what promises to be an epic conclusion to a fabulous series.

GRADE
B+


Birdman

A delirously fun satirical send up of artistic pretension. 

GRADE
B+


The Overnighters

"The Grapes of Wrath" in documentary form set in North Dakota.

GRADE
A-


Interstellar

If this was humanity's last hope, give up.

GRADE
D


Nightcrawler

A condemnation of crime pornography with a chilling central character.

GRADE
A


John Wick

You kill his dog, he kills a million people. You've been warned.

GRADE
B


Dear White People

The type of smart, ballsy satire that comes along all too rarely.

GRADE
A


Fury

War is hell, but this movie is just hella slow.

GRADE
C+


The Burden of Actual Christianity

Most praise for writer/director Jesse Moss’s documentary, The Overnighters, has rightly been focused on its Steinbeckian...

more »


Awful, Not Full of Awe

Preposterous, pseudointellectual, poorly constructed, clichéd, impenetrably masculine, goofy and possessed of an...

more »


News-sploitation

Yesterday, CNN showed reporters physically chasing a woman connected to the Ebola scare. Not too long ago, a Fox News...

more »


Dogged Determination

John Wick killed three guys with a pencil.

John Wick is so good at killing, he had to bury his guns beneath a cement floor...

more »


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