Ryan’s Junk Drawer For January 7

"With great junk, comes great responsibility" - Better Off Ted

I swear on my life I would post blogs more often if this new system didn't sporadically swallow them whole. I crafted for you a brilliant cornucopia of words. A hilarious, breathtaking, bouncy blend of verb and noun that was just totally gone when I tried to post it. Ever flush a chunk of your life straight down a toilet? Sigh. Now...

entered on 01/07/11 at 05:36 PM | read more »


Things You Should Buy Me (Volume 60)

Okay, you don't have to buy me anything this week. I accept that I have done nothing worthy of your free swag this week, in that I promised you no absences and then promptly took the next day off. In my defense: (A) - This new system is NOT as user friendly for quick posting, (2) - I am easily distracted, (C) - I probably deserve lots of gifts for all my hard work previous to this during which...

entered on 01/06/11 at 09:25 PM | read more »



Down on the Farm

White Material

French-born director Claire Denis grew up in Africa, and her latest film, White Material, is her first set on that continent since her 1988 debut Chocolat. Since ’88, Denis has become probably the greatest French filmmaker currently working, and White Material is an example of her observational, often dreamlike style at its peak.

Somewhere in Africa, a conflict between military forces and...

entered on 01/05/11 at 06:15 PM | read more »


Cutting Room for January 5

I was appalled (and oddly intrigued) at the instruction I received from my editor this week, until I realized she told me to grab my crystal ball for this week’s column. Let’s just say the first draft of this installment was a little saucier until I realized she wanted predictions. So here’s the best brief supposition and speculation I can suppose to speculate:

  • 3D will D-cline: Studios...

entered on 01/05/11 at 06:08 PM | read more »


All the news I feel like printing for Tuesday

Sorry this is later in the day. It's hard to get back into the swing of things after you've been gone for so long. I feel like Michael Jordan after he retired to play baseball trying to find his jump shot again. Of course, there's one pretty obvious difference between me and MJ: I live in Omaha.

Things are starting to pick up again after the holiday lull, meaning an egg nogg-and-rum hangover...

entered on 01/04/11 at 09:44 PM | read more »


Once again, I’m back!

Did you miss me? I sure missed you, my devoted silent masses! I promised I would post a few times during my holiday (saying that makes me feel British..."I went on holiday" just sounds so much fancier than "I spent the majority of the last two weeks running errands and sleeping in"). Then I didn't. This isn't because I'm a lying liar. Okay, it's partially because I'm a lying liar. It's mostly...

entered on 01/03/11 at 04:15 PM | read more »



Cocky Dude Will Shoot

True Grit

If it rhymed easier, “You don’t remake a classic John Wayne movie” might have squeezed in after “You don’t tug on Superman’s cape” in Jim Croce’s hummable cautionary tale. The cinematic equivalent of a fish’s bicycle, those writin’ and directin’ Coen brothers’ choice to revisit True Grit seemed at best unnecessary and at worst an act of art house hubris. Surely they would...

entered on 01/01/11 at 04:44 AM | read more »


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John Wick

You kill his dog, he kills a million people. You've been warned.

GRADE
B


Dear White People

The type of smart, ballsy satire that comes along all too rarely.

GRADE
A


Fury

War is hell, but this movie is just hella slow.

GRADE
C+


Dracula Untold

What if Dracula was a superhero?!

GRADE
C


Gone Girl

This thriller has many twists, the biggest of which is that it's kind of a satire.

GRADE
A


The Boxtrolls

A stop-motion romp with near-nekkid trolls and a cross-dressing villain.

GRADE
B-


The Skeleton Twins

A dramedy about suicide elevated by its stars.

GRADE
B


Frank

A band that has a lead singer with a fake head will win your heart.

GRADE
A-


Fury Is Missing Fast

Inside of writer/director David Ayer’s Fury is a tight, 90-minute, “we will hold this line” war movie populated with complex...

more »


The Adventures of Super Vlad

Left out of the superhero movie party every other studio is throwing, Universal made the ballsy decision to turn Dracula...

more »


Everyone is Awful

Warning to newly engaged couples: Do not see Gone Girl, a movie that makes marriage look like The Hunger Games with slightly...

more »


Swimming in the Laika

From Ray Harryhausen’s Medusa to Henry Selick’s Jack Skellington, stop-motion animation is just frickin’ cool, yo. Maybe...

more »


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