Flaming Pants, Burning Loins

I Love You Philip Morris

Jim Carrey has no damn luck.

I Love You Philip Morris is a darkly comic, gay Catch Me If You Can, the central role in which requires rapid fluctuation from slapstick pratfalls to wrestling with AIDS. It’s exactly the type of part that scores formerly big-time actors their marquee award nomination. If the film weren’t tonally disjointed, had more genuine romance and didn’t use a...

entered on 01/19/11 at 04:49 PM | read more »



Slight Sting

The Green Hornet

There should be no doubt that director Michel Gondry (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) is a genius; unfortunately, his 3D action/comedy spectacle, The Green Hornet, isn’t. It’s really more of a by-the-book bro-mantic comedy at heart, which is no surprise since it was written by Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg (Superbad). Still, it is an interesting step taken by an interesting director and...

entered on 01/19/11 at 04:44 PM | read more »



DVD Discovery: Lie Space

DVD Discovery: Catfish

Although 2010 won’t go down as The Greatest Year of Filmmaking Ever, it is becoming more and more notable as The Year that Documentaries Blew Our Minds. The latest evidence supporting this assertion is Catfish, a compelling and timely documentary that is nearly impossible to describe without spoiling it for everyone.

Freshly released on DVD, Catfish tells the story of a young New York City...

entered on 01/19/11 at 04:13 PM | read more »


Monday’s Daily Dump (1/18/11)

January is the cruelest month, no matter what Eliot said. Seriously, it's cold as blue balls out there, there's not enough football to keep us distracted, the movies largely suck, and there's no news of note really. It's a stupid, frosty month that only exists because my wife's birthday is in it. If it weren't for that, I'd have capped January in the face years ago. Let's take a look at the...

entered on 01/18/11 at 09:44 PM | read more »


Box Office Results for the weekend of January 14

There was a glitch in my HTML coding, which sounds like a nerdy way of saying I had diarrhea or something. But what really happened is that I forgot to slash or unslash inside a carrot and for some reason it ate all of my numbers associated with my predictions on Friday. Not that anybody NOTICED OR TOLD ME OR ANYTHING! Jeez, it's like a guy whose zipper was so unzipped you could see all of...

entered on 01/18/11 at 09:29 PM | read more »


Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions for January 14

Well, it's a big weekend. Oh, not for movies, those mostly suck right now. I'll be spending 100% of my energy trying to will my Chicago Bears not to blow ass against the inferior but dangerous Seattle Seahawks. Remember, Pete Caroll is a horrible person who feeds off the souls of children. Bear down, Chicago Bears! And I urge you if you are not FROM Seattle or married to Pete Caroll, I sure could...

entered on 01/14/11 at 11:53 PM | read more »


Ryan’s Junk Drawer for January 14

"With great junk, comes great responsibility" - Better Off Ted

It's probably been hard for you to stay focused at work today when you've been wondering when you're going to see my junk. It sneaks up on you sometimes, my junk. You'll just be working away and then, WHAMMO right on your computer screen is all of my junk. What if your boss catches you looking at my junk? Oh, hell, it's worth it,...

entered on 01/14/11 at 10:29 PM | read more »


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Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1

Half of what promises to be an epic conclusion to a fabulous series.

GRADE
B+


Birdman

A delirously fun satirical send up of artistic pretension. 

GRADE
B+


The Overnighters

"The Grapes of Wrath" in documentary form set in North Dakota.

GRADE
A-


Interstellar

If this was humanity's last hope, give up.

GRADE
D


Nightcrawler

A condemnation of crime pornography with a chilling central character.

GRADE
A


John Wick

You kill his dog, he kills a million people. You've been warned.

GRADE
B


Dear White People

The type of smart, ballsy satire that comes along all too rarely.

GRADE
A


Fury

War is hell, but this movie is just hella slow.

GRADE
C+


The Burden of Actual Christianity

Most praise for writer/director Jesse Moss’s documentary, The Overnighters, has rightly been focused on its Steinbeckian...

more »


Awful, Not Full of Awe

Preposterous, pseudointellectual, poorly constructed, clichéd, impenetrably masculine, goofy and possessed of an...

more »


News-sploitation

Yesterday, CNN showed reporters physically chasing a woman connected to the Ebola scare. Not too long ago, a Fox News...

more »


Dogged Determination

John Wick killed three guys with a pencil.

John Wick is so good at killing, he had to bury his guns beneath a cement floor...

more »


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