Next year, evil gets smokin’ hot

My best friend since middle school, Andrew, and I have never really fought. I mean, yes there was a disagreement about my athletic ability to jump out of a pool and a minor kerfuffle over whether or not there were actual lions or supernatural ones in a certain Val Kilmer movie, but those things didn't lead to body blows or gunfire. But we're men. Marginally so, one would argue given our various...

entered on 12/14/10 at 06:24 PM | read more »


Suddenly, the Internet is worth it

Well hello there, my bloggity devotees. It's Tuesday...as if you didn't know. And you all know what that means, right? It means nothing. Stick that in your "season of magic" pipe and smoke it.

Today was the Golden Globe nominations...but man are they depressing. I love watching the awards show itself, not just because of my sick fascination with arbitrary assessments of artistic merit, but...

entered on 12/14/10 at 05:31 PM | read more »


Box Office Results - Weekend of 12/10/2010

Shhh! Don't look over here! STOP, I TOLD YOU NOT TO. See, if nobody pays attention, then no one will notice that the BOX OFFICE IS FADING LIKE A PUNCH-DRUNK BOXER! Seriously, after posting one of the worst Novembers on record, December ain't exactly tearin' it up. Narnia 3: Revenge of River Jesus is a dud, even in 3D. Nobody found the Jolie/Depp pairing believable. Hell, if it wasn't for Disney's...

entered on 12/13/10 at 05:09 PM | read more »


By Odin’s scrotum!

Greetings! I hope you had a wonderful weekend filled with shopping and much mirth and merriment. I borked my back shoveling, and the Chicago Bears lost to the New England Patriots 389 to -12. That score may not be accurate but it perfectly encapsulates the feeling of the game. Thus, let it be said that I face this Monday with all the positivity and energy of a roadkilled skunk. I have the...

entered on 12/13/10 at 04:48 PM | read more »


Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions for December 10

Nothing happened yesterday and today. I don't mean literally. People did stuff and things. Just nobody did anything particularly noteworthy. You can always tell thin movie news days based on when sites run things like "Videos of the Day" that are goofy or drop shots of new posters like it warrants a whole post unto itself. I mean, Matt Damon MAY be talking about starring in the new Neill Blomkamp...

entered on 12/10/10 at 06:49 PM | read more »


Ryan’s Junk Drawer for December 9

With great junk comes great responsibility - "Better Off Ted"

Welcome weary weekly warriors. Greetings grousing and grumbling grunts! Hello humble heroines and heroes! It is finally, finally, finally time for your Ryan-fueled salvation, for that weekly dose of girthy goodness that can only be described as the most magnificent junk you have ever before laid your eyes upon! Look upon my junk and...

entered on 12/09/10 at 08:17 PM | read more »


Things You Should Buy Me (Volume 58)

Over the course of the weekend, I discovered something. No, not a package that was sent to me containing free goodies. Why didn't I discover that? Because you didn't buy me anything. Just like the week before. Nothing. You and nobody you knew contacted me at film@thereader.com and got my address to send me sweet swag that I would brag about. Season of giving my ass. No, what I discovered...

entered on 12/08/10 at 04:24 PM | read more »


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The Trip to Italy

Another affable outing with two British comedians.

GRADE
B+


Sin City: A Dame to Kill For

Still a fun place to visit, provided you're not a woman.

GRADE
C


The Giver

This adaptation of Lois Lowry's beloved award-winning classic will be none of those things.

GRADE
D


Boyhood

The only coming-of-age story anyone ever needs to make. 

GRADE
A+


Guardians of the Galaxy

A gleeful space opera that is as visually stunning as it is hilarious.

GRADE
A


Lucy

A girl ingests a drug that makes her God. For real.

GRADE
C+


Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

Those damned apes are back and anything but dirty.

GRADE
B+


We Are the Best

Set in Stockholm in 1982, this is punk rock female adolescence at its finest.

GRADE
A


Take It Back

Fail gloriously, if you must fail. Go down swinging for the fences, punchdrunk and confident you’re making something truly...

more »


Cinéma Very Tame

A few quick confessions: Because we now have cameras, modern photorealistic paintings have always been, at best, modestly...

more »


Grade A-Holes

The proliferation of comic book movies has reached its cultural apex, so thoroughly dominating the box office and public...

more »


Lucy Goosey

It doesn’t work this way with people, but there’s a level of confident stupidity a movie can display that makes it...

more »


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