Ryan’s Junk Drawer

"With great junk, comes great responsibility" - Better Off Ted

It's been too long since you saw my junk. I'm embarrassed, but last Friday I just couldn't get it up. That sacred day that signals the beginning of the (week)end, the day reserved by a devoted legion of followers out there for rolling around in my junk, came and went with nary a peek. It wasn't the first time, and it won't be the...

entered on 02/04/11 at 10:13 PM | read more »


Things You Should Buy Me (Volume 63)

Folks, I'm not the greedy bastard this column's title would have you believe. Oh, sure, I like getting stuff...but receiving like 3-5 items of the nearly 200 items I've posted in this segment has taught me that life is about NOT getting stuff. In which case, I am really, really good at life. My point is this, I'm not going to sit here and once more beg you for material goods that you will find...

entered on 02/03/11 at 05:12 PM | read more »


Daily Dump for Wednesday (February 2)

Chances are, if you're reading this, you're only running your computer to generate heat in order to stave off Snowpocalypse Now. Seriously, did you see this?

That's NOT from a movie. That's the Windy City today. Luckily, I live in Omaha, which only has to contend with ridiculously sub-zero weather (a sneeze will freeze on your face)...but luckily, we were just selected as one of the top 10...

entered on 02/02/11 at 11:01 PM | read more »


Cutting Room For February 2

  • For the longest time, if you wanted to see director Dan Mirvish’s Omaha (The Movie), you had to know Dan Mirvish. And that’s cool, but Dan’s a busy dude. So it’s my pleasure to tell you that the flick can now be streamed online through Microsoft and on X-Box Live…which would be great if my X-Box didn’t commit cyber seppuku a few days back. Still, good news for those of you with a...

entered on 02/01/11 at 11:33 PM | read more »



Heartbreak Motel

Blue Valentine

Last year’s indie relationship flicks mostly kept the mood light. Both Jack Goes Boating and Cyrus tempered their weighty moments with socially awkward central characters who were good for a tension-breaking chuckle. Viewers loved these characters at arm’s length, not because they weren’t real or wonderfully crafted, but because we like to think of ourselves as too sophisticated to make the...

entered on 02/01/11 at 11:10 PM | read more »



The Murderer’s Apprentice

The Mechanic

Things you’ll never hear: “I want to see that new Victorian-era romance starring Oscar-winner Jason Statham.” J-Stat is so synonymous with cinematic violence, someone should update the Wikipedia entry for “action movie” so it’s just a picture of his grimacing, bald cabeza covered in blood. In an ever-changing world, the only constant is Jason Statham’s movie murder spree.

The...

entered on 02/01/11 at 11:06 PM | read more »


Daily Dump for Tuesday (February 1)

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED HERE? I lost a whole month of 2011. I mean, sure, it was January, which is so barely a month it may as well be February, but still...it can't seriously be 1/12th of the year in the tank already, can it? Man, I've got a get my act together. Speaking of getting one's act together: What's worse, Snowpocalypse 2011 or the COVERAGE of Snowpocalypse 2011? I have heard this called...

entered on 02/01/11 at 10:06 PM | read more »


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Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1

Half of what promises to be an epic conclusion to a fabulous series.

GRADE
B+


Birdman

A delirously fun satirical send up of artistic pretension. 

GRADE
B+


The Overnighters

"The Grapes of Wrath" in documentary form set in North Dakota.

GRADE
A-


Interstellar

If this was humanity's last hope, give up.

GRADE
D


Nightcrawler

A condemnation of crime pornography with a chilling central character.

GRADE
A


John Wick

You kill his dog, he kills a million people. You've been warned.

GRADE
B


Dear White People

The type of smart, ballsy satire that comes along all too rarely.

GRADE
A


Fury

War is hell, but this movie is just hella slow.

GRADE
C+


The Burden of Actual Christianity

Most praise for writer/director Jesse Moss’s documentary, The Overnighters, has rightly been focused on its Steinbeckian...

more »


Awful, Not Full of Awe

Preposterous, pseudointellectual, poorly constructed, clichéd, impenetrably masculine, goofy and possessed of an...

more »


News-sploitation

Yesterday, CNN showed reporters physically chasing a woman connected to the Ebola scare. Not too long ago, a Fox News...

more »


Dogged Determination

John Wick killed three guys with a pencil.

John Wick is so good at killing, he had to bury his guns beneath a cement floor...

more »


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