Things You Should Buy Me (Volume 61)

Well, the holidays are officially over, as I'm back to receiving ZERO of the things that I am very clearly and articulately telling people to buy me. My wife actually had to call the help desk at ThinkGeek the other day. When I heard her give our last name, I thought: "Well, now she's about to get some respect, and I'm about to discover that they're waiting to send me a giant shipment of products...

entered on 01/13/11 at 11:08 PM | read more »


Wednesday’s Daily Dump

Hey blog fans, welcome back. Are you excited that I've chosen to hang on to "The Daily Dump?" No? But...but there's so many doody-related jokes that will be inspired by that decision. It's a brown treasure! It's a number one, number two decision! The jokes will just squirt out of me! See, this is a good time, isn't it? I am nothing if not classy. No, wait, it was crude. I'm nothing if not crude....

entered on 01/12/11 at 09:48 PM | read more »



I Beg to … Mostly Agree

Like the stereotypical Transylvanian numerologist on “Sesame Street,” I am transfixed by counting. Specifically, I am “Call Dr. Drew” addicted to top 10 lists. The best part is getting worked up; like “How dare that critic leave out the brilliant German relationship film Freudenschnitzel?” Sadly, this year most critics agree. Although I find deviations in my personal annual decalogue...

entered on 01/12/11 at 08:02 PM | Comments (1) read more »


Cutting Room for January 12

  • What better way for Eminem to prove he should be taken seriously as an actor than to star in Random Acts of Violence, a film originally written as a take on the video game “Grand Theft Auto”? While Em wasn’t going to completely win over critics who dismiss him as verbally malevolent, I’m guessing any chance he had of separating his acting from his music is about to get shot in the face.

    ...

entered on 01/12/11 at 07:59 PM | read more »


Tuesday’s square round-up

I need advice on what to call these daily editions. I am reserving the term "junk drawer" for my Friday column, because it's pulled from the whole week (and if there was other junk around, my junk wouldn't feel as special...and my junk is very special, right?). Thursday is now the day of Things You Should Buy Me, so what do we call the daily collection of news on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday?...

entered on 01/11/11 at 09:59 PM | read more »


All the news I feel like printing for Monday

Not a whole lot happened over the weekend. I mean in terms of film. Plenty of interesting things happened in the world over the weekend, just not ones I get to make pithy jokes about here. I was going to go for some metaphor about how slow the weekend news was, but I couldn't choose between "slow" meaning stupid and "slow" meaning takes a long time. There is nothing worse than metaphor...

entered on 01/10/11 at 10:17 PM | read more »


Box Office Results 1/10

Fancy meetin' you here! I mean, it's not particularly FANCY...there are no doilies or fine china or anything. Makes you wonder why that expression is usually said like a cowboy. Did cowboys really refer to things as "fancy?" Curious.

Anyhoodle, I am excited to get to these haikus because I heard a great haiku this weekend at a poetry slam about Malcolm X, Warren Buffet, and how Omaha must have...

entered on 01/10/11 at 09:39 PM | read more »


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The Boxtrolls

A stop-motion romp with near-nekkid trolls and a cross-dressing villain.

GRADE
B-


The Skeleton Twins

A dramedy about suicide elevated by its stars.

GRADE
B


Frank

A band that has a lead singer with a fake head will win your heart.

GRADE
A-


The Trip to Italy

Another affable outing with two British comedians.

GRADE
B+


Sin City: A Dame to Kill For

Still a fun place to visit, provided you're not a woman.

GRADE
C


The Giver

This adaptation of Lois Lowry's beloved award-winning classic will be none of those things.

GRADE
D


Boyhood

The only coming-of-age story anyone ever needs to make. 

GRADE
A+


Get Fassbent

So the whole time, Michael Fassbender wears this giant, papier-mache-style head and mumble-sings gibberish lyrics about...

more »


Fall? Oh, me!

I’ve reviewed movies professionally for more than a dozen years. The few weeks immediately surrounding the end of summer has...

more »


Bro-man Holiday

First things first: The Trip to Italy, the sequel to 2010’s surprise hit The Trip, may be the whitest movie ever made....

more »


Bleak and White

Celebrated narcissist and Freddy Krueger look-a-like Frank Miller gives the women he writes a plethora of career choices....

more »


Cutting Room for September 26

Cutting Room for September 19

Movieha! Omaha’s Favorite Movie Podcast

Cutting Room for September 12

Cutting Room for September 5

Movieha! Omaha’s Favorite Movie Podcast

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