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Not Even Friendzoned

 

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Rich People Party Weird

Are you supposed to review the screenplay in a movie that uses Shakespeare’s original words? Can characters be formulaic and derivative if the writer is the dude who originally derived the formula? Executive decision: Let’s leave The Bard alone and talk about The Beard, which is a nickname no one has ever used for writer/director/lord-of-nerds Joss Whedon but it was a nice parallel and maybe it will stick.

The...


Cutting Room for June 21

  • As far as nicknames go, I suppose there are worse than “franchise Viagra.” Having spiked the grosses in Fast and Furious’s series and the GI Joe sequel, The Rock has become the “box office little blue pill.” And apparently, a robot may be next to “feel the rise,” as Dwayne Johnson is circling Terminator 5, joining him with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Let’s be honest, let’s hope they don’t come to blows on set...


For Lack of Mouthwash

From the seemingly infinite production companies behind World War Z, the must see movie of next summer is Ninja Squirrel Poets* (*note: does not actually feature ninjas, squirrels or poetry). As has been well publicized, Brad Pitt’s company, Plan B, snapped up the rights to Max Brooks’ thoughtful, faux-historical retrospective novel and then promptly scrapped everything but the title. Turns out, they disregarded...


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Jason Bourne

Jason Bourne still doesn't know all about his past...and still walks briskly...

GRADE
D

Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie

The cult-classic TV show is now a movie...that will only appeal to said cult members.

GRADE
D

Star Trek Beyond

A truly Trek-esque installment of a delightfully rebooted franchise.

GRADE
A-

Tickled

A documentary about underground tickling fetishism that will make you squirm.

GRADE
A-

Reader Recommends

Ghostbusters

A vibrant reboot that deserves a boatload of sequels.

GRADE
A-

On DVD

Sing Street

A pleasant 1980s-set coming-of-age music-based movie that is a little cliched but still fun.

GRADE
B

Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates

A vulgar comedy either ruined by the men or saved by the women, depending on how you see it.

GRADE
C

On DVD

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

A nonsensical, boring, ugly take on two of the world's most beloved superheroes.

GRADE
F

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