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That Boy Ain’t Right

 

Awake My Soul

 

‘Tis the Summer of This Content

 

Cutting Room for April

 

Crawl for Your Oscar, Leo

 

Super Bad, Man

 

Ethics, Unchallenged

 

Stuck in a Bunker With You?

 

Movieha! Your Favorite Movie Podcast

 

Run! It’s Super-ISIS!

 

The-huntsman-winters-war-official-trailer-00 Yas, Queens!

Oh dear God should The Huntsman: Winter’s War not work. Like, it should cause uncontrollable vomiting and permanent erectile dysfunction. So, sweet Jeebus, do I have my work cut out for me here. Nobody look at the score I gave at the bottom before reading all of this first, okay? Oh, come on! You looked. Just now. You looked just now, didn’t you? Dammit.

Fine, to recap: This movie is a sequel to Snow White and the...


Junglebooktriptych3-800x400 Beasts of Burden

The Jungle Book is director Jon Favreau’s “live-action”—if you count an entirely CGI environment with almost entirely CGI characters to be “live-action”—update of the classic Disney tale. A young boy, Mowgli (Neel Sethi) is protected by a panther, Bagheera (Ben Kingsley); semi-raised by a wolf, Raksha (Lupita Nyong’o); befriends a bear, Baloo (Bill Murray); kinda-almost-sorta gets eaten by a snake, Kaa (Scarlett...


Midnight special That Boy Ain’t Right

Theoretically, dumping chocolate syrup on top of M&Ms on top of Oreos on top of cookie dough on top of fudge technically tastes “good.” You just don’t get an actual dessert if you do that. What you get is…well, what you get is diabetes, but that’s beside the point. Midnight Special is like that ooey-gooey confectionary abomination: it’s hard to dislike any individual component, but it’s all just kind of congealing...


Force awakens Awake My Soul

Nostalgia, like love, erodes rough edges; it fills in gaps, paints clean what was scuffed, and forgives copious small sins in the name of happiness. I’m sorry, but none of the Star Wars movies have been perfect. Although some are demonstrably (laughably) worse, all abound with fractures and flaws. That we deeply love (some of) them is a gentle affirmation of their use of the monomyth and a reflection of how they...


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Keanu

Like John Wick but with a cat and more jokes than bloody head wounds.

GRADE
B+

First Monday in May

A propaganda-documentary about an industry with some pretty bad race issues...

GRADE
F

Reader Recommends

The Huntsman: Winter's War

A poorly written, unnecessary and dumb movie I really enjoyed a lot.

GRADE
B+

The Jungle Book

A more "realistic" version of an animated story about talking animals who murder while singing.

GRADE
C

Midnight Special

A kid with weird powers is trying to get somewhere to do something that doesn't quite make sense.

GRADE
B-

On DVD

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

The most beloved franchise in film history is finally restored to glory.

GRADE
A+

On DVD

The Revenant

A man turns into a human chew toy for a bear to win an Oscar.

GRADE
C

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