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Film

That Boy Ain’t Right

 

Awake My Soul

 

‘Tis the Summer of This Content

 

Crawl for Your Oscar, Leo

 

Super Bad, Man

 

Ethics, Unchallenged

 

Stuck in a Bunker With You?

 

Run! It’s Super-ISIS!

 

Hype Damned

 

I Can’t Believe They Went Hare

 

The-revenant-trailer Crawl for Your Oscar, Leo

Without spoiling whether survivalist/tempting-bear-treat Hugh Glass (Leonardo DiCaprio) survives The Revenant, we can still talk about one climactic shot. DiCaprio, having been maimed in all maimable ways, stares directly into the camera, seemingly shattering the fourth wall by sheer force of will. Teeth grit, lips sneered, his eyes scream “is this enough? Huh? Is this finally enough? Daniel Day Lewis didn’t sleep...


Batman-vs-superman-ew-pics-3 Super Bad, Man

The infinite monkey theorem holds that monkeys randomly typing on keyboards for infinity will eventually produce the works of Shakespeare. Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice would have been better off choosing any of the non-Shakespearean, random keystroke, monkey scripts. What writers Chris Terrio and David Goyer have done here is an unspeakable disservice to beloved characters, talented actors and a public poised...


 87536434 a war4 Ethics, Unchallenged

Critics keep describing A War as, “ethically challenging.” I’m not sure that term means what they think it means… The conflict at the center of the A War is cut-and-dry: a Danish military commander orders a bombing that results in the deaths of a dozen civilians in Afghanistan; he gives the order because of his vicious “us vs. them” mentality. Anyone who finds the film “ethically challenging” might be susceptible to...


10-cloverfield-lane-image-1 Stuck in a Bunker With You?

You can keep your Jason Voorhies and Freddy Kreuger. To me, nothing is more terrifying than an overweight, middle-aged, gun-loving, white man obsessed with the “impending apocalypse.” Whether its barfy nonsense about chemtrails or proof of a Martian invasion, AM-radio-style conspiracies have given us a booming “doomsday bunker” industry and now 10 Cloverfield Lane, a tautly claustrophobic gem seemingly broadcast...


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Keanu

Like John Wick but with a cat and more jokes than bloody head wounds.

GRADE
B+

First Monday in May

A propaganda-documentary about an industry with some pretty bad race issues...

GRADE
F

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The Huntsman: Winter's War

A poorly written, unnecessary and dumb movie I really enjoyed a lot.

GRADE
B+

The Jungle Book

A more "realistic" version of an animated story about talking animals who murder while singing.

GRADE
C

Midnight Special

A kid with weird powers is trying to get somewhere to do something that doesn't quite make sense.

GRADE
B-

On DVD

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

The most beloved franchise in film history is finally restored to glory.

GRADE
A+

On DVD

The Revenant

A man turns into a human chew toy for a bear to win an Oscar.

GRADE
C

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