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Film

That Boy Ain’t Right

 

Awake My Soul

 

‘Tis the Summer of This Content

 

Crawl for Your Oscar, Leo

 

Super Bad, Man

 

Ethics, Unchallenged

 

Stuck in a Bunker With You?

 

Run! It’s Super-ISIS!

 

Hype Damned

 

I Can’t Believe They Went Hare

 

Tfa poster wide header-1536x864-959818851016 Please Don’t Suck

As the proud owner of a freshly minted Doctor Who tattoo on my forearm, my time cloaking “extreme nerd” status is behind me. So here goes. Confession time: I bought tickets to see Meet Joe Black just to watch the Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace trailer and didn’t stay for the movie. I also bought all of the toys before seeing any real footage and waited for about 24 hours to get good seats for the first...


Ant-man-1280-1420605390518 1280w No Wright, Still Alright

In the belly of a hollowed-out volcano, maniacally laughing and rubbing their hands together in a way only villains are wont to do, WB/DC executives had to be overjoyed when writer/director Edgar Wright left Ant-Man just as production was starting. Finally! A Marvel Studios misstep! “Soon,” they must have thought, “very soon, the world will forget Green Lantern and Catwoman! They’ll replace Batman and Robin on their...


Minions Talking Twinkies

The Lego Movie being somehow good ruined our ability to completely dismiss a film’s concept upon first hearing it. Who knows, maybe Minions would be infused with the same cleverness, the same all-ages wonder and fun? In the first 10 minutes, a pill-shaped living Twinkie lifts a block of ice over his head, farts and then gets smushed by it. So…nevermind…

Writer Brian Lynch’s Minions isn’t as bad as that woeful scene...


Creed Son Shines

Like death, taxes and CBS creating another spectacularly unfunny comedy, reboots are an inevitable part of life now. To resist them isn’t merely tilting at windmills, it’s tilting at windmills you then go ahead and buy anyway. Instead, let’s just get writer/director Ryan Coogler to do all the reboots. All of them. I want him on everything from Die Hard 6 to Perfect Strangers: The Movie. Why? Because Creed just...


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Keanu

Like John Wick but with a cat and more jokes than bloody head wounds.

GRADE
B+

First Monday in May

A propaganda-documentary about an industry with some pretty bad race issues...

GRADE
F

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The Huntsman: Winter's War

A poorly written, unnecessary and dumb movie I really enjoyed a lot.

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A more "realistic" version of an animated story about talking animals who murder while singing.

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Midnight Special

A kid with weird powers is trying to get somewhere to do something that doesn't quite make sense.

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On DVD

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

The most beloved franchise in film history is finally restored to glory.

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The Revenant

A man turns into a human chew toy for a bear to win an Oscar.

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C

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