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Awake My Soul

 

‘Tis the Summer of This Content

 

Crawl for Your Oscar, Leo

 

Super Bad, Man

 

Ethics, Unchallenged

 

Stuck in a Bunker With You?

 

Run! It’s Super-ISIS!

 

Hype Damned

 

I Can’t Believe They Went Hare

 

Red, White and Very Blue

 

Ant-man-1280-1420605390518 1280w No Wright, Still Alright

In the belly of a hollowed-out volcano, maniacally laughing and rubbing their hands together in a way only villains are wont to do, WB/DC executives had to be overjoyed when writer/director Edgar Wright left Ant-Man just as production was starting. Finally! A Marvel Studios misstep! “Soon,” they must have thought, “very soon, the world will forget Green Lantern and Catwoman! They’ll replace Batman and Robin on their...


Minions Talking Twinkies

The Lego Movie being somehow good ruined our ability to completely dismiss a film’s concept upon first hearing it. Who knows, maybe Minions would be infused with the same cleverness, the same all-ages wonder and fun? In the first 10 minutes, a pill-shaped living Twinkie lifts a block of ice over his head, farts and then gets smushed by it. So…nevermind…

Writer Brian Lynch’s Minions isn’t as bad as that woeful scene...


Creed Son Shines

Like death, taxes and CBS creating another spectacularly unfunny comedy, reboots are an inevitable part of life now. To resist them isn’t merely tilting at windmills, it’s tilting at windmills you then go ahead and buy anyway. Instead, let’s just get writer/director Ryan Coogler to do all the reboots. All of them. I want him on everything from Die Hard 6 to Perfect Strangers: The Movie. Why? Because Creed just...


Hunger-games-mockingjay-part-2-trailer-jennifer-lawrence Mocking Without Imitation

I love how pissed off people are at parts of The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2. Not because I feed on the anger of others. Okay, not just because of that. No, I love it because this franchise that was poo-pooed and tsk-tsked as being “young adult” just completed one of the bravest fictional treatises on the hidden costs of war, the insidious nature of propaganda and martyrdom, the flaws inherent in all political...


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First Monday in May

A propaganda-documentary about an industry with some pretty bad race issues...

GRADE
F

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The Huntsman: Winter's War

A poorly written, unnecessary and dumb movie I really enjoyed a lot.

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The Jungle Book

A more "realistic" version of an animated story about talking animals who murder while singing.

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C

Midnight Special

A kid with weird powers is trying to get somewhere to do something that doesn't quite make sense.

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Star Wars: The Force Awakens

The most beloved franchise in film history is finally restored to glory.

GRADE
A+

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The Revenant

A man turns into a human chew toy for a bear to win an Oscar.

GRADE
C

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

A nonsensical, boring, ugly take on two of the world's most beloved superheroes.

GRADE
F

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