Kevin Costner Hates You

3 Days to Kill

He laid low.

For the last decade, Kevin Costner mostly kept to himself, popping up only to save our oceans from oil spills with inventions from Waterworld and to convince Superman he shouldn’t be so super, man. But now my least favorite actor is back, and he’s looking to make up for lost time in the “things that suck” department. And sweet tap-dancing Moses does 3 Days to Kill suck.

3 Days...

entered on 02/21/14 at 06:09 PM | read more »



Droning On

Robocop

For one brief, shining moment, the completely unnecessary remake of Robocop suggested the possibility of non-suckage. Pat Novak (Samuel L. Jackson), a host of cable news propaganda, frothily and non-ironically suggests using the same drone-based military action we use abroad to curb violence at home. Suddenly, this Robocop appeared to have a purpose: skewering American apathy about machines...

entered on 02/14/14 at 06:02 PM | read more »



Construction’s Fun, Son

The Lego Movie

Writers/directors Phil Lord and Christopher Miller have stepped on the modern zeitgeist as forcefully as most of us have once stepped on the jagged foot-killers known as Lego blocks. The Lego Movie is kind of insane. Half the time, it operates on a critical meta-level—actually, sometimes it’s a meta-meta level—while lovingly embracing the spasticity of imaginative kids. The animation isn’t...

entered on 02/07/14 at 11:47 PM | read more »



Check Out These Tiny Packages!

2014 Oscar Shorts

Just as the short story trembles in the footprint of the novel, the short film plays David to feature-length film Goliaths. But with the help of shiny, naked bald men, these wee bits of cinematic splendor step from the shadows and sling their short shots. And in the 12 years I’ve had the pleasure of covering them, this year’s bunch is easily the best.

Live-Action Short Films

Aquel No Era Yo...

entered on 01/31/14 at 11:28 PM | read more »



Rome Alone

The Great Beauty

Honestly, at least half of the people who describe films as “Fellini-esque” have no idea what the hell they’re talking about. The term has become a pseudointellectual catch-all to describe flights of artistic fancy, when there is a very real and specific definition for that descriptor. As a point of reference, The Great Beauty (La Grande Bellezza) is so Fellini-esque, someone needs to pull on...

entered on 01/24/14 at 07:40 PM | read more »



Bland. James Bland.

Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit

What the hell is a “shadow recruit?” Did they really just figure out the terrorist target via Instagram? Does Viktor Cherevin (Kenneth Branagh) win the award for “most stereotypical Russian villain in history” now that we know he has cirrhosis from drinking too much vodka? And seriously, what the hell is a shadow recruit?!

A good movie leaves you questioning previous notions. A series of...

entered on 01/18/14 at 01:13 AM | read more »



Love Hert-z

Her

The most laughable part of Her isn’t the complex, sophisticated romantic relationship between a man and his software operating system; it’s the high-waisted, Clint Eastwood-esque pants everybody wears. Forget flying cars; just promise us a future where we don’t have to unzip to scratch our bellybuttons.

To be fair, this silly fashion is a logical extension of the oversized, lensless glasses...

entered on 01/10/14 at 08:08 PM | read more »


Page 6 of 49 pages ‹ First  < 4 5 6 7 8 >  Last ›

The Boxtrolls

A stop-motion romp with near-nekkid trolls and a cross-dressing villain.

GRADE
B-


The Skeleton Twins

A dramedy about suicide elevated by its stars.

GRADE
B


Frank

A band that has a lead singer with a fake head will win your heart.

GRADE
A-


The Trip to Italy

Another affable outing with two British comedians.

GRADE
B+


Sin City: A Dame to Kill For

Still a fun place to visit, provided you're not a woman.

GRADE
C


The Giver

This adaptation of Lois Lowry's beloved award-winning classic will be none of those things.

GRADE
D


Boyhood

The only coming-of-age story anyone ever needs to make. 

GRADE
A+


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