Slow Death

Hereafter

No matter how deserving it may be, there’s no way to feel good about panning a Clint Eastwood movie. The man is a force of nature: in just the last two years he directed and produced four films, composed the score for two more and starred in one. And he’s 80. His resume certainly demands respect; unfortunately his latest film, Hereafter, is a silly, sappy mess. Hereafter hops around the...

entered on 10/27/10 at 08:37 PM | Comments (1) read more »



Doctor in the House?

House

Calling a 30-some-year-old movie a “new release” feels strange, although we may all have to agree to redefine the word “strange” after seeing the ultra-bizarre 1977 flick House, directed by Nobuhiko Obayashi. The film’s lain in state for quite a while; but like any good zombie, reanimated just in time for our Halloween party, to drink too much jungle juice and do the “Monster Mash”...

entered on 10/27/10 at 08:34 PM | read more »



Gray-Haired Black Ops

Red

Wry sense of humor, sly sexuality, potent and visually stimulating violence? Oh, Ernest Borgnine, is there anything you can’t do? Okay, fine, although the 93-year-old gap-toothed thespian pops up infrequently in Red, a film for which all those previous descriptors do actually apply, his inclusion is a metaphor for the inexplicably kinda-awesome ha-ha/bang-bang extravaganza as a whole....

entered on 10/20/10 at 03:59 PM | read more »



Naval Gazing

Jack Goes Boating

It’s a little known non-fact that Philip Seymour Hoffman has had a role, big or small, in every movie ever made. If you don’t believe me, just look for his cameo as “cherubic South Carolina racist” in Birth of a Nation. We all knew it was just a matter of time before he applied his considerable talents behind the camera as well, as he did in his directorial debut Jack Goes Boating, an...

entered on 10/20/10 at 03:49 PM | read more »



Next Stop, Glue Factory

Secretariat

Although directed at no specific group, Secretariat may represent some form of hate crime. As unintentionally hilarious as The Happening, as hideously filmed as a flip-camera video taken on a roller coaster ride in the dark, as horribly acted as a community theater musical starring meth addicts, any compliment the film is given is a lie told by a lying liar. If screenwriter Mike Rich hadn’t...

entered on 10/13/10 at 08:37 PM | read more »



ATM Deposit

Human Centipede

It’s 2010, which means everyone with a modem has stumbled across a video they wish they hadn’t seen, a movie depicting an act so vile that we thought they were urban legend; we couldn’t believe people actually did that — until we watched it. Our collective innocence fled sometime between the viral videos “Two Girls One Cup” and “Man Beaten to Death With Hammer.” Horror movie...

entered on 10/13/10 at 08:32 PM | read more »



Prodigal Prodigy

Basquiat documentary depicts the artist as a young man With its repetitive vocal line and frenetic bounciness, the 1940s bebop tune “Salt Peanuts” was the perfect song for the opening credits of The Radiant Child, a documentary about artist and painter Jean-Michel Basquiat. A New York City counter-culture icon of the early 1980s, Basquiat sent shockwaves through the era’s sterile...

entered on 10/06/10 at 08:05 PM | Comments (1) read more »


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John Wick

You kill his dog, he kills a million people. You've been warned.

GRADE
B


Dear White People

The type of smart, ballsy satire that comes along all too rarely.

GRADE
A


Fury

War is hell, but this movie is just hella slow.

GRADE
C+


Dracula Untold

What if Dracula was a superhero?!

GRADE
C


Gone Girl

This thriller has many twists, the biggest of which is that it's kind of a satire.

GRADE
A


The Boxtrolls

A stop-motion romp with near-nekkid trolls and a cross-dressing villain.

GRADE
B-


The Skeleton Twins

A dramedy about suicide elevated by its stars.

GRADE
B


Frank

A band that has a lead singer with a fake head will win your heart.

GRADE
A-


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