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Film

Hurts So Good

 

Aw, Man

 

Wave Goodbye

 

The Long of It

 

Speaking of Suicide…

 

Crawl for Your Oscar, Leo

 

Tarantinope

 

I See You, 2016

 

Awake My Soul

 

Extra, Extra Bad Things

 

Pedestrian Equestrian

Steven Spielberg is an unrepentant schmaltz addict, and War Horse may represent his biggest binge to date. Crammed with comforting cliches and overstuffed with sentiment, this lifelessly dangling chunk of Oscar bait feels purely calculated to prey on the emotionally vulnerable. The rest of us calloused souls are forced to endure a pretty looking but ultimately shallow journey of a personality-free horse who...


High School Confidential

Even if you don't feel you really know the main character in Jason Reitman's Young Adult, you've probably seen her. Maybe at the grocery story, or in a gas station. She's obviously very pretty, even though she's disheveled, with baggy sweatpants on, and remnants of last night's makeup visible behind the grimace and the big sunglasses.

In this movie, Charlize Theron plays one such girl. And Reitman uses his film...


Physics Schmysics

Action movies have long played fast and loose with the laws of physics, largely eschewing logic in favor of spectacle. Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol doesn’t just play footsie with fantasy: it is a two-hour middle finger to Sir Isaac Newton, a love letter to physical deeds that can’t be done. And it is so much stinkin’ fun.

Unlike the previous entries in the franchise, which have either been lambasted for...


Revenge of the Baby-sat

For a movie that judiciously “borrows” from a marginally beloved 1980s Elizabeth Shue movie, The Sitter somehow feels like a Vh1 countdown special on “overused comedy beats from the 2000s.” This is “kitchen sink” comedy at its most uninspired, as writers Brian Gatewood and Alessandro Tanaka empty out their reserve of go-to staples such as “white nerd impresses cool black folks,” “running from wacky but murderous...


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Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

I mean, it's kind of all there in the title, right?

GRADE
C

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Hail, Caesar!

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Room

An emotional wrecking ball about a mother and son kept in captivity.

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A

The Boy

An allegedly creepy movie about a dull doll.

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D

The Fifth Wave

An impression of an impression of good sci-fi. For young people!! 

GRADE
D

The Big Short

The story of the housing market collapse as told by the people who...weren't hurt at all by it.

GRADE
B+

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