Next Stop, Glue Factory

Secretariat

Although directed at no specific group, Secretariat may represent some form of hate crime. As unintentionally hilarious as The Happening, as hideously filmed as a flip-camera video taken on a roller coaster ride in the dark, as horribly acted as a community theater musical starring meth addicts, any compliment the film is given is a lie told by a lying liar. If screenwriter Mike Rich hadn’t...

entered on 10/13/10 at 08:37 PM | read more »



ATM Deposit

Human Centipede

It’s 2010, which means everyone with a modem has stumbled across a video they wish they hadn’t seen, a movie depicting an act so vile that we thought they were urban legend; we couldn’t believe people actually did that — until we watched it. Our collective innocence fled sometime between the viral videos “Two Girls One Cup” and “Man Beaten to Death With Hammer.” Horror movie...

entered on 10/13/10 at 08:32 PM | read more »



Prodigal Prodigy

Basquiat documentary depicts the artist as a young man With its repetitive vocal line and frenetic bounciness, the 1940s bebop tune “Salt Peanuts” was the perfect song for the opening credits of The Radiant Child, a documentary about artist and painter Jean-Michel Basquiat. A New York City counter-culture icon of the early 1980s, Basquiat sent shockwaves through the era’s sterile...

entered on 10/06/10 at 08:05 PM | Comments (1) read more »


<p>Some movies are all talk. Money Never Sleeps is all jargon. </p>
Going Green

The recession, as explained by Oliver Stone What better time than the tail-end of a recession for Oliver Stone to bring his inimitable money-grubber Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) back to the screen? In 1987’s original Wall Street, the trading wizard was our cartoonish symbol for the dark side of that era’s excess. Now, Gekko returns in Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps as prophet of and...

entered on 09/30/10 at 08:08 PM | read more »



Don’t Edit Me Argentina

Metropolis

Brain wrinkle time. When is a review not a review? Answer: When dealing with “the complete” Metropolis. Director Fritz Lang’s 1927 dystopian epic, which birthed modern sci-fi cinema from its loins as assuredly as if we had ultrasonographic images of Blade Runner in its womb, was truncated to around 90 minutes after its original screening in Berlin. In 2008, the Museum of Cinema in Buenos...

entered on 09/30/10 at 08:05 PM | read more »



Suck it, Damon!

The Town proves Affleck is on the rise With The Town, writer/director/star/unfair-target-of-derision Ben Affleck pumps two armor-piercing rounds into jokes about his being the lesser of the creative forces behind his joint Oscar win with hetero-life-partner Matt Damon. Eff that noise, whatever Affleck’s staggeringly brilliant freshman directorial effort Gone Baby Gone didn’t prove, this...

entered on 09/24/10 at 08:29 PM | read more »


Easy A FTW

Easy A

It’s fitting that the review of a movie about whoring through words should start with a verbal money shot, in the form of a pull quote: Easy A is easily the funniest movie of the year. Sporting chlamydia as a subplot, discussion of vagina gnomes and multiple Huckleberry Finn–based biracial gay sex jokes, first-time screenwriter Bert Royal truly earned the marketing descriptor “not your...

entered on 09/24/10 at 08:25 PM | read more »


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The Giver

This adaptation of Lois Lowry's beloved award-winning classic will be none of those things.

GRADE
D


Boyhood

The only coming-of-age story anyone ever needs to make. 

GRADE
A+


Guardians of the Galaxy

A gleeful space opera that is as visually stunning as it is hilarious.

GRADE
A


Lucy

A girl ingests a drug that makes her God. For real.

GRADE
C+


Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

Those damned apes are back and anything but dirty.

GRADE
B+


We Are the Best

Set in Stockholm in 1982, this is punk rock female adolescence at its finest.

GRADE
A


Snowpiercer

Awesome, literal class warfare on a train that holds the only humans that survived the new ice age.

GRADE
A-


Obvious Child

Billed as a comedy, this is actually a sophisticated, empathetic look at a crucial issue.

GRADE
B+


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