Too-Weak Vacation

The Tourist

As thrilling as a slow-speed boat ride and as death-defying as a jump from a first-floor balcony, The Tourist needs you to find Angelina Jolie the most sex-tastic collection of pronounced collar bone and countable vertebrae in order to hold your attention. For those who don’t think exposed wrist sinew and “size: skeleton” dresses are the height of attraction, here’s hoping you like a...

entered on 12/15/10 at 12:10 AM | read more »



High-Seas Drifters

The Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader

I’ve never read the books myself, but people seem to love C.S. Lewis’ "The Chronicles of Narnia" like I love a wacky, wonderful Tom Cruise performance: unconditionally. Narnia is, much like Star Wars, the sort of thing people grow up with, which makes it sort of untouchable. So, for an outsider like me to dribble off my two cents on the latest film installment seems, if not unfair, at least...

entered on 12/15/10 at 12:06 AM | read more »



DVD Discovery: Magic Act

DVD Discovery: The Disappearance of Alice Creed

You know the feeling you get at the peak of a suspenseful scene? At the breathless moment where you’re waiting for the inevitable gunshot, the doom-laden footsteps or the damning, climactic line of dialogue? That simultaneously delightful and miserable squirminess? Well if you’re into that — and who isn’t, at least a little? — writer/director J Blakeson’s The Disappearance of Alice...

entered on 12/07/10 at 11:31 PM | read more »



Give Him a Hand

127 Hours

Those multi-tools sure do come in handy, don’t they? Okay, I swear that’s my last hand-related pun in reviewing Danny Boyle’s newest film 127 Hours. Boyle, the genius director who has brought us films as diverse as Trainspotting, 28 Days Later and 2008’s hugely popular Slumdog Millionaire, has again changed genres like some people change their shirts. This time, he’s appealing to the...

entered on 12/07/10 at 11:25 PM | read more »



Under the Influence

Love and Other Drugs

As its title states, love is just one of many brain-altering ingredients present in director Edward Zwick’s Love and Other Drugs. The film is set in the world of pharmaceutical sales in the mid-’90s, so besides a little pot and plenty of beer, we’re also among Prozac, Zoloft and the debut of Viagra.

Jamie Randall (Jake Gyllenhaal) has never cared about much, so nothing much has ever really...

entered on 11/30/10 at 06:42 PM | read more »



Burn Noticed

Fair Game

Forget Congressional censure and domestic or international courts of law, the Bush administration will apparently burn for their sins beneath the withering lights of largely ignored, star-driven movies. Score one for justice! If we can’t expect the guy who directed Swingers (Doug Liman) to preserve our democracy, who will stand as the last defender of this once great republic?

As Matt...

entered on 11/30/10 at 06:34 PM | read more »



Waiting is the Hardest Part 1

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1

I narrowly dodged that Hogwart’s-bound train. By the time JK Rowling’s bespectacled wand slinger rose to prominence stateside in 1999, I was of legal age to get Harry Pott-ed and would only have considered following the literary series if name-dropping Dumbledore magically manifested female phone numbers.

And yet, with a childhood peppered by a Star Wars obsession and a current downstairs...

entered on 11/18/10 at 07:31 PM | read more »


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Nightcrawler

A condemnation of crime pornography with a chilling central character.

GRADE
A


John Wick

You kill his dog, he kills a million people. You've been warned.

GRADE
B


Dear White People

The type of smart, ballsy satire that comes along all too rarely.

GRADE
A


Fury

War is hell, but this movie is just hella slow.

GRADE
C+


Dracula Untold

What if Dracula was a superhero?!

GRADE
C


Gone Girl

This thriller has many twists, the biggest of which is that it's kind of a satire.

GRADE
A


The Boxtrolls

A stop-motion romp with near-nekkid trolls and a cross-dressing villain.

GRADE
B-


The Skeleton Twins

A dramedy about suicide elevated by its stars.

GRADE
B


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