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Wartcrap

 

That Boy Ain’t Right

 

Stuck in a Bunker With You?

 

Pop Culture, Popped

 

I Can’t Believe They Went Hare

 

Fun With Catholics and Communism

 

The 10 Best Movie Musicals Ever

 

Laughter Unshelled

 

Lady Sings the Blues

 

Mutant Fight Club

 

Cotillard’s Coattails

Given that France is America’s go-to national punching bag for milquetoast xenophobic jokes, it is a testimony to her towering talent that Marion Cotillard is an Oscar-winning box office draw. Even reducing her physical presence by a third in her latest, Rust and Bone, does nothing to stunt her on-screen magnetism, or what the French call “Le, daaaamn!”

Writer/director Jacques Audiard and screenwriter Thomas...


Poor 2013

Listen, 2013, you look cool. You really do, with your new Superman movie and lack of Twilight. It’s just…well, your older sibling (2012) was super crazy awesome. It’s not easy being odd, especially with a number so feared it gets its own phobia named after it. But chin up, I’m sure it won’t be that bad…I mean, other than that sequel to Adam Sandler’s Grown Ups that’s coming. Here are some things I’m looking...


Antebellum Antiheroism

Oh, Quentin Tarantino, you’ve really done it this time, haven’t you? Nobody really cared when you fantasized that Hitler didn’t end his reign of terror with one last murder (his own), placing therapeutic cinematic release into the hands of machine-gun toting Jews blasting the bogeyman back to hell in Inglourious Basterds. But slavery? This ain’t Europe, QT; here in America, we like to judge everyone abroad for...


Sherlock Homeless

Jack Reacher, the hero of Jack Reacher (in case you were confused), is a drifter with nothing to lose. We know this because that is exactly what Tom Cruise says he is while yelling at a bad guy on the phone, Taken-style. Reacher is novelist Lee Child’s six-foot-five, fictional meal ticket beloved by millions who were outraged at the casting of the Lilliputian Cruise. Honestly, Cruise’s well-honed action hero...


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Love and Friendship

An Austen adaptation that's a snoozefest, aside from two stinky performances...

GRADE
D

Independence Day: Resurgence

A bloated, unneeded sequel that's more chaos than cheesy fun.

GRADE
D

Central Intelligence

A buddy action movie where the buddies are put backseat to the "action." 

GRADE
B-

Finding Dory

A sequel to Finding Nemo that is pretty much exactly like Finding Nemo.

GRADE
B

Warcraft

An adaptation of a video game that will be enjoyed solely by people who loved that video game.

GRADE
F

On DVD

Midnight Special

A kid with weird powers is trying to get somewhere to do something that doesn't quite make sense.

GRADE
B-

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On DVD

10 Cloverfield Lane

A "Twilight Zone" type tale about a man keeping captives in a bunker at the "end of the world."

GRADE
A-

Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping

A pop culture skewering mocumentary most notable for raunchy songs you'll feel bad about singing...

GRADE
B+

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