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That Boy Ain’t Right

 

Awake My Soul

 

‘Tis the Summer of This Content

 

Crawl for Your Oscar, Leo

 

Super Bad, Man

 

Ethics, Unchallenged

 

Stuck in a Bunker With You?

 

Run! It’s Super-ISIS!

 

Hype Damned

 

I Can’t Believe They Went Hare

 

The-big-short-steve-carell-ryan-gosling The Long of It

About a decade ago, a bunch of rich assholes collapsed the world’s economy because they were dumb, evil and greedy. They didn’t go to jail, not because they weren’t icky bad criminals, but because their crimes were boring and hard to understand. You rob a bank with a gun, you go to jail. You rob all the banks in the world with bundled subprime mortgages, the government will cover your IOUs. The Big Short is an...


Nepwvc0fxa8ptq 1 a Speaking of Suicide…

Perhaps the only perk of seeing films in an area where limited-releases usually take weeks, often months, to arrive in theaters is that January (a dumping ground for awful movies) is peppered with films on Oscar shortlists. The Revenant opens in the area this weekend, and The Big Short, Joy and Spotlight are also in town. I haven’t seen some of those films yet but, with the acclaim they’ve been receiving, it’s hard...


Kurtrussellsamuelljacksonhatefuleight Tarantinope

Say this much for writer/director/foot fetishist/N-word-addict Quentin Tarantino, when he finally made his first bad movie, he made one of the worst films ever. The Hateful Eight is a disgusting, stupid, overlong bore. It would have sucked at half its length, but at least you could have done something more pleasurable and less soul crushing with the rest of your day, like gargled broken glass or listened to the...


Natgotagun I See You, 2016

Oh man, 2016 has gotta feel so nervous, knowing its elder sibling, 2015, was so flinging-flanging good. Father Time has to be like “No, it’s totally okay if you want to go in to ophthalmology, 2016. Not everyone can be a brain surgeon like 2015.” I mean, 2015 resurrected Star Wars, introduced Imperator Furiosa (Mad Max: Fury Road) and had so many slightly more minor triumphs, 2016 is probably already working on a...


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Keanu

Like John Wick but with a cat and more jokes than bloody head wounds.

GRADE
B+

First Monday in May

A propaganda-documentary about an industry with some pretty bad race issues...

GRADE
F

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The Huntsman: Winter's War

A poorly written, unnecessary and dumb movie I really enjoyed a lot.

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B+

The Jungle Book

A more "realistic" version of an animated story about talking animals who murder while singing.

GRADE
C

Midnight Special

A kid with weird powers is trying to get somewhere to do something that doesn't quite make sense.

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B-

On DVD

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

The most beloved franchise in film history is finally restored to glory.

GRADE
A+

On DVD

The Revenant

A man turns into a human chew toy for a bear to win an Oscar.

GRADE
C

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