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Film

Oopsie Genius

 

No Big Bang

 

Heaven is Overrated

 

50/50 = Zero

 

Don’t Let Millennials Time Travel

 

News-sploitation

 

Confusing Hacktion

 

Yes, They Mean You

 

The Adventures of Super Vlad

 

Subversive Profundity

 

Get Fassbent

So the whole time, Michael Fassbender wears this giant, papier-mache-style head and mumble-sings gibberish lyrics about things like snags in the carpet while other people play instruments they created out of things like toothbrushes. Welcome to Frank, a movie that is somehow nowhere near as pandemonium-inducingly insane as it sounds. In fact, it’s surprisingly sincere and legitimately sweet for a film that centers...


Fall? Oh, me!

I’ve reviewed movies professionally for more than a dozen years. The few weeks immediately surrounding the end of summer has always served as Hollywood’s trash heap. Only, unlike the talking one from “Fraggle Rock,” this trash heap doesn’t offer advice so much as waste hours of people’s lives so that mid-range stars can draw a paycheck.

This post-summer blah is the worst ever. How bad is it? The week after Labor...


Bleak and White

Celebrated narcissist and Freddy Krueger look-a-like Frank Miller gives the women he writes a plethora of career choices. They can be prostitutes, strippers, bondage-wearing murderers or corpses. Some get to be all of those! Sin City: A Dame to Kill For is part entertaining cartoon noir, part violently fetishized relationship revenge fantasy. The first part is recommendable; the second part is vile.

...


Take It Back

Fail gloriously, if you must fail. Go down swinging for the fences, punchdrunk and confident you’re making something truly awesome that people will love, even if it winds up a steaming pile of poodoo we mock. I respect the noble fool, the proud creator of disaster who clearly put everything into a creative vision beloved by only himself. I have no respect for the people who made The Giver, a movie about the...


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Focus

A "who's conning who" movie that tries to con the audience.

GRADE
C+

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