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A Siren’s Dirge

 

Pity the Privileged

 

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Unlucky Harms

 

Reel Meaning

 

Mainline It

 

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Yo Ho No

It’s hard not to mention Chicken Run without wanting to make a joke about Mel Gibson voicing a rooster. And while that may be the lasting thought from the 2000 movie, the fact remains that it was an affable claymation adventure from Aardman Animations that holds up well when compared with the relentless CGI dreck that has infested theaters over the last decade plus. So when The Pirates! Band of Misfits was...


Like a Joss

This was going to be a rabid, frothing defense of the superhero genre, complete with impassioned pleas that appealed to cinematic intellectuals who are apt to dismiss such films. But Tom Hiddleston, who ironically plays the evil Loki in The Avengers, got there first…and he straight-up crushed it. Damn you, Loki! Does your villainy know no end?!

In his unreasonably eloquent opinion piece in The Guardian on April...


In Need of Altar-ations

Complaining about the length of a film can be a cop-out, a lazy way to avoid dissecting actual content in favor of basically whining about how valuable your free time is. But jokes about The Five-Year Engagement being long enough to legally make its audience common-law married aside, the duration of this and other Judd Apatow–produced movies has become a discussion point of substantial merit.

Constantly clocking...


Anatomically Correct

There is a conversation about bullying that is desperately needed in this country. Unfortunately, Bully seemingly isn’t interested in being part of it. Director Lee Hirsch’s film, although clearly well-intentioned, preaches to the choir with pedestrian truisms that tug on heart strings but ultimately add nothing of substance to a potentially important dialogue.

Sure, it’s impossible not to be moved by stories...


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Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation

Ethan Hunt and company must save the world. Again. Actually, again, again, again. 

GRADE
A-

Southpaw

Jake Gyllenhaal swings but the film kinda misses.

GRADE
C+

Ant-Man

A delightfully scaled-down heist movie featuring shrinking superheroes.

GRADE
A-

Minions

A spinoff of Despicable Me that isn't totally despicable. 

GRADE
C+

Amy

A soul-crushing look at a siren taken too early.

GRADE
A+

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl

Another coming-of-age dramedy about a sad, privileged white kid.

GRADE
D

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On DVD: What We Do in the Shadows

A mocumentary about vampires that actually has teeth.

GRADE
A

Magic Mike XXL

The gang is back to dry hump. ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!

GRADE
B-

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