Ice Station Zoiks!

The Thing

Most modern filmmakers prefer two-headed CGI alien-monsters over spooky atmospheric tension, assuming that too much atmosphere would leave today’s younger demographic texting “bored lol” until the theater was lit to daylight by their phones. Matthijs van Heijningen Jr, director of The Thing, is no exception. Although he has created a serviceable prequel to the 1982 John Carpenter flick of the...

entered on 10/17/11 at 06:46 PM | read more »



Kosher Dull Picture

Footloose

Goofy can be an art form, and silliness is sometimes a lubricant that can grease the squeaky wheels of joyful entertainment. Sadly, writer/director Craig Brewer’s remake of Footloose isn’t just goofy or silly; it’s also stupid…like, really stupid. Sure, no copies of the original film are stored in the Louvre, but that flick had some bizarre natural charisma that made it endearing. This version...

entered on 10/16/11 at 06:24 PM | read more »



Attack Lads

The Ides of March

A reminder: Bobbing for apples in a sports stadium urinal trough may be less vile than becoming a professional politician. If Aaron Sorkin’s sorely missed “West Wing” was a weekly fairy tale of governmental grace, The Ides of March is a campfire ghost story where every player is the bogeyman. Populated exclusively with characters only passingly familiar with the definition of integrity, the...

entered on 10/08/11 at 07:16 PM | read more »



Pinkie Gets Fingered

Brighton Rock

Although writer/director Rowan Joffe’s Brighton Rock, the second attempt at a big-screen adaptation of a 1938 Graham Greene novel, never introduces us to the parents of its sociopathic main character, it’s safe to assume they sucked at child rearing. Maybe genetics alone determined that their offspring would become a brain-bashing, knife-wielding savage, but naming him Pinkie Brown couldn’t...

entered on 10/03/11 at 03:41 AM | read more »



The Digital Diamond

Moneyball

“It's hard not to be romantic about baseball.” Or so drawls Billy Beane, the restless Oakland Athletics general manager depicted in “all caps” by Brad Pitt in Moneyball. It's a hard statement to deny, whether or not the phrase “America's pastime” even means anything in our always-connected, always-at-war modern age. That conflict—idyllic nostalgia versus cruel reality—is the secret core of this...

entered on 09/26/11 at 03:45 PM | read more »



The Bell of the Bawl

Bellflower

Bellflower wants badly to burn. It so yearns to catch fire that cinematographer Joel Hodge appears to have frequently smeared ash on the lens and scrambled the color palate, so that bright reds and oranges practically ignite the screen. Alas and alack, beyond a sizzlin’ visual look, Bellflower is less flame and more smoke … derivative, borderline misogynistic smoke. It feels dirty taking a...

entered on 09/24/11 at 12:23 AM | read more »


Purell Madness

Contagion

Not to advocate violence, but anybody who cannot control their coughing while publicly watching Contagion, a movie about super sniffles that nearly destroy humanity, is either too sick to be around others or desperate for negative attention — that is to say, they’re either sick or “sick.” You know who I’m talking about, people.

With that off my chest, director Steven Soderbergh (Oceans 11, 12...

entered on 09/12/11 at 07:08 PM | read more »


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Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1

Half of what promises to be an epic conclusion to a fabulous series.

GRADE
B+


Birdman

A delirously fun satirical send up of artistic pretension. 

GRADE
B+


The Overnighters

"The Grapes of Wrath" in documentary form set in North Dakota.

GRADE
A-


Interstellar

If this was humanity's last hope, give up.

GRADE
D


Nightcrawler

A condemnation of crime pornography with a chilling central character.

GRADE
A


John Wick

You kill his dog, he kills a million people. You've been warned.

GRADE
B


Dear White People

The type of smart, ballsy satire that comes along all too rarely.

GRADE
A


Fury

War is hell, but this movie is just hella slow.

GRADE
C+


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