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Film

Hurts So Good

 

Aw, Man

 

Wave Goodbye

 

The Long of It

 

Speaking of Suicide…

 

Crawl for Your Oscar, Leo

 

Tarantinope

 

I See You, 2016

 

Awake My Soul

 

Extra, Extra Bad Things

 

Dwarfing Expectations

We are masters of cynicism, proudly sporting a black-belt in backlash. If this generation of critics, pseudo-critics and armchair-article-writing audience members given the bully pulpit of social media has any legacy, it will be bitching for bitching’s sake.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey is awesome by the literal definition of the word, in that its relentless action, staggeringly nuanced performances and...


Holli-dazed and Reviewed

There is a difference between a guide to holiday movies and holiday movie guide. The former is simply a tour of cloying Christmas-time flicks you know by heart and the latter is a battle plan, a plan of action, a roadmap to maximizing your entertainment during whatever vacation you have managed to squirrel away for these winter days. Let’s consider various scenarios to ensure you maximize your movie merriment.

...


Par for the Corset

A quick preface before I eviscerate gifted director Joe Wright’s self-indulgent adaptation of genius playwright Tom Stoppard’s artifice-laden take on Leo Tolstoy’s classic Anna Karenina. I wrote a Master’s thesis on the influence 17th and 18th century female conduct books designed to codify feminine behavior had on the writing of Daniel Defoe’s satirical novel “Moll Flanders.” I don’t mention this just to make me...


Hawkes Virginity Hunt-ed

America’s Puritanical origins mean “sweetly sexual” may sound oxymoronic, but that phrase absolutely defines The Sessions, the softest and kindest movie to ever feature a star of “Mad About You” buck nekkid. Although nudity being “integral to the role” is a con that lecherous producers love to peddle to starlets drowning in Hollywood’s misogynistic subculture, this is a film legitimately predicated on preaching a...


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Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

I mean, it's kind of all there in the title, right?

GRADE
C

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Hail, Caesar!

A madcap romp through 1950s Hollywood that's smarter than it looks.

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Room

An emotional wrecking ball about a mother and son kept in captivity.

GRADE
A

The Boy

An allegedly creepy movie about a dull doll.

GRADE
D

The Fifth Wave

An impression of an impression of good sci-fi. For young people!! 

GRADE
D

The Big Short

The story of the housing market collapse as told by the people who...weren't hurt at all by it.

GRADE
B+

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