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Pity the Privileged

 

Mocku-Dracu-mentary

 

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Movieha! Your favorite movie podcast

 

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Someone Call Chris Hansen

 

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Um, Forgettable

If you’ve ever seen an online profile picture, chances are you’re familiar with the pursed-lips, craned-neck, supposedly slimming contortion known affectionally as “the duckface.” Total Recall is the sci-fi tale of a quasi-postapocalyptic duckface war between Kate Beckinsale and Jessica Biel, with Colin Ferrell as the judge. At least, that’s what this remake of an adaptation of a short story, written by a...


Savage Beauty and The Beasts

They should hand out oxygen tanks before each screening of Beasts of the Southern Wild because writer/director Benh Zeitlin’s debut feature film takes your breath in the very first scene and plays keep away with it for more than 90 minutes. When people kvetch about the abundance of remakes and sequels while whining about how “there are just no new ideas anymore,” tape their eyes open and play this movie on repeat....


Who Watches The Watch, Man?

Seeing as how it has an extraterrestrial plot, let’s describe The Watch using an astronomical metaphor. Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill and Richard Ayoade are like comedic planets that orbit a central, burning sun…and that sun is made entirely of penis jokes. Someone spent $70 million to make a movie in which aliens only die if you shoot them in the pee-pee, in which an alien is killed by having his thingie...


Got Ham?

From Christian Bale’s bark to Hans Zimmer’s “gonna getcha” score, if director Christopher Nolan has driven one point home in his Bat-films, it has been this: “Take my films seriously, yo.” From meditations on the fine line between vengeance and justice to the moral ambiguity of using high-end technology “for the greater good,” this Bat-trilogy has cleverly and successfully fused “real world” stuff with “comic...


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Southpaw

Jake Gyllenhaal swings but the film kinda misses.

GRADE
C+

Ant-Man

A delightfully scaled-down heist movie featuring shrinking superheroes.

GRADE
A-

Minions

A spinoff of Despicable Me that isn't totally despicable. 

GRADE
C+

Amy

A soul-crushing look at a siren taken too early.

GRADE
A+

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl

Another coming-of-age dramedy about a sad, privileged white kid.

GRADE
D

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On DVD: What We Do in the Shadows

A mocumentary about vampires that actually has teeth.

GRADE
A

Magic Mike XXL

The gang is back to dry hump. ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!

GRADE
B-

On DVD

'71

Set against the Northern Ireland conflict, this "trapped behind enemy lines" thriller delivers big time.

GRADE
A-

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