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Film

Once, Again

 

Speaking of Unholy Abominations…

 

Never Go “Full Arthouse”

 

Ride this Dragon

 

United in Praise

 

Twitter Wars: A New Nope

 

Can Mew Dig It?

 

Fashion Backward

 

Yas, Queens!

 

Beasts of Burden

 

Lonely Hearts’ Club

Let’s be honest, Love Is All You Need (or Den Skaldede Frisør if Danish is more than a donut to you) is basically redundant escapist fantasy.  But when the fantasy services the desires of middle-aged women struggling with uncompassionate husbands and cancer and not hormonal, heterosexual male teenagers (as most movies seem intent to service), it scores a free pass on originality.

Writer/director Susanne Bier’s...


Riding Public Transformation

Hear ye, hear ye! Writer/director Michel Gondry’s brief stint in pop culture prison for having heinously directed Seth “The Marijuana Manchild” Rogen as a superhero in The Green Hornet is officially over! He has been pardoned, on the grounds that his latest film, The We and the I, is one of the most wholly honest, conceptually sincere pieces of entertainment to deal with teenage Americans in recent memory. Some...


Vin Diesel Can Fly

New rules for the fifth Fast and Furious sequel:

Rule number 1 – Everybody gets a harpoon gun. Yes, everybody.

Rule number 2 – If you are bald, you must spend 90% of your time brooding with your arms crossed.

Rule number 3 – Writer Chris Morgan and director Justin Lin have officially petitioned science to move the law of gravity back to a theory and will ignore said law until the appeal has been heard.

...


Fade to Blackout

The Hangover Part III is so jaw-droppingly terrible, America deserves an explanation. Not because this series has become some nation-defining work of art, but because it sure feels like writer/director Todd Phillips just told everyone who likes his films to go “make sexytime” to  themselves in the most unpleasant of orifices. It isn’t merely unfunny, as unfunny would have been a heaven-sent upgrade. This film...


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X-Men: Apocalypse

A nonstop mutant fight club with little plot, thin characters and a whole lotta fun!

GRADE
B

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The Nice Guys

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Louder Than Bombs

A bunch of stereotypical quasi-characters brood and pout, if you like such things...

GRADE
D-

Sing Street

A pleasant 1980s-set coming-of-age music-based movie that is a little cliched but still fun.

GRADE
B

On DVD

The Witch

A boring "horror" movie in which the scariest thing is the hygeine of American pilgrims. 

GRADE
F

Francofonia

An uncomplicated but visually experimental documentary simplistically arguing: "Museums good."

GRADE
B

Embrace the Serpent

A routine "Heart of Darkness" story that's something special.

GRADE
A

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