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Pity the Privileged

 

Mocku-Dracu-mentary

 

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Emotion Motion

 

Someone Call Chris Hansen

 

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Rednecks and White Lightning

Scuff him, scrape him, buff him up; nobody is going to buy Shia LaBeouf as a country boy. He has a face built for Instagram and his posture is that of a narcissist demanding bottle service at a trendy club. Even though he plays the least burly of the Bondurant boys, a real life trio of brothers who ran moonshine during prohibition, nobody is buying what he is desperately giving away. Thus, it’s a minor miracle...


Fender Blender

Everybody needs a little help. Writer/director/actor Dax Shepard could have probably used another writer, a third director (David Palmer already co-directed) and a better group of actors for Hit and Run, a movie that is a cinematic traffic accident with multiple fatalities. Comedy, drama and action were all pronounced dead at the scene, and romance passed away on the way to the hospital. There’s nothing to see...


Recyclists

Recyclists
Premium Rush rides on cliches
Ryan Syrek

This is not a good movie. It’s important to establish that early on so that you can understand how an appreciation of its moving parts doesn’t fully remove one central thesis: Premium Rush is crap. It may, however, be somewhat fun crap, depending on your tolerance for scenery chewing, “look how current we are” cultural references and spandex.

Actually,...


I See Clay People

Before Pixar flexed its artistic muscle (a muscle they could stand to exercise more frequently these days), the message in American animated films ranged from “always be true to yourself” to “always be true to yourself and also get heterosexually married.” Paranorman isn’t about self-confidence or individual expression. It’s about how people can be huge, cruel dicks. Specifically, when confronted by those with...


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Southpaw

Jake Gyllenhaal swings but the film kinda misses.

GRADE
C+

Ant-Man

A delightfully scaled-down heist movie featuring shrinking superheroes.

GRADE
A-

Minions

A spinoff of Despicable Me that isn't totally despicable. 

GRADE
C+

Amy

A soul-crushing look at a siren taken too early.

GRADE
A+

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl

Another coming-of-age dramedy about a sad, privileged white kid.

GRADE
D

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On DVD: What We Do in the Shadows

A mocumentary about vampires that actually has teeth.

GRADE
A

Magic Mike XXL

The gang is back to dry hump. ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!

GRADE
B-

On DVD

'71

Set against the Northern Ireland conflict, this "trapped behind enemy lines" thriller delivers big time.

GRADE
A-

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