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Wedding Belles

 

Super Bad, Man

 

I’ll Have What He’s Having

 

Not Even Friendzoned

 

More Free Dumb!

 

I Spy the Same Game

 

Stupid Core

 

Familiar Fish Tale

 

Wartcrap

 

That Boy Ain’t Right

 

1% Happy, 99% Sad

Clate Blanchett, y’all. Cate friggin’ Blanchett. Day-yum!

Any review of Blue Jasmine that doesn’t start with a linguistic supplication of the otherworldly-talented actress doesn’t understand the magnitude of her performance. Shazam! Finding a drama centered around a woman who isn’t a stripper, hooker, murderer or murder victim is like stepping out back for a cuppa and seeing a prancing unicorn. It pole vaults...


But…Mud?

There are 161 reviews of Mud currently aggregated on Rotten Tomatoes. Of those, 98% are positive, meaning only 3 critics saw the same movie I did. Yes, writer/director Jeff Nichols made a purty movie with a strong cast and an interesting little allegorical fable. But do you know what the moral of that fable is? Love sucks because women are whores. I promise you, if you walk through the logic of what is shown, you...


A Bit Plain, Jane

Since Stephanie “Twilight” Meyers is a producer on Austenland, the following question is fair game: Why are readers who fangirl out about Mr. Darcy from Jane Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice” embraced or applauded while devotees of whatever-that-sparkly-vampire-dude’s-name-was are chided? Both of the male characters demonstrate icky behaviors that shouldn’t be desired in a mate, although admittedly the angst-ridden...


Yes Them Is

“What’s wrong with me?” My subconscious tries to smother this thought with a mental pillow, but the bastard won’t die.

Throughout the course of writer/director David Lowery’s Ain’t Them Bodies Saints—which most resembles a fictional ménage à trois between Beasts of the Southern Wild, The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford and your choice of Terrence Malick movie—I profusely self-loathed while...


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Star Trek Beyond

A truly Trek-esque installment of a delightfully rebooted franchise.

GRADE
A-

Tickled

A documentary about underground tickling fetishism that will make you squirm.

GRADE
A-

Reader Recommends

Ghostbusters

A vibrant reboot that deserves a boatload of sequels.

GRADE
A-

Wiener-Dog

A dark comedy that defies easy summation and must be experienced to be understood!

GRADE
A-

Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates

A vulgar comedy either ruined by the men or saved by the women, depending on how you see it.

GRADE
C

On DVD

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

A nonsensical, boring, ugly take on two of the world's most beloved superheroes.

GRADE
F

Love and Friendship

An Austen adaptation that's a snoozefest, aside from two stinky performances...

GRADE
D

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