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Film

Sodium Eyewater

 

Dressed to Cool

 

Are You Not Entertained?!

 

Let’s Not Be Gods

 

College Crisis

 

Think on Your Sins, America

 

Sexually Transmitted Ignorance

 

The Bacon of Blockbusters

 

Unlucky Harms

 

Mocku-Dracu-mentary

 

Focus-trailer Cons, Vexing

Despite its title and the fact that Will Smith continually mouth-dumps exposition about how pulling a con requires attention to detail, Focus is hella sloppy. It’s not just that genuinely thrilling “who’s playing who” moments bump up against a holistically unbelievable romantic core, it’s that writers/directors Glenn Ficarra and John Requa never decided on the movie’s tone. Lithe and funny until it’s leaden and...


Two-days-one-night-stars-marion-cotillard-as-a-factory-worker-trying-to-keep-her-job Please Sir, May I Have My Job?

Sit down, Sartre, writers/directors Jean-Pierre and Luc Dardenne get it a bit more right: Hell isn’t just other people. Hell is asking other people to surrender their bonuses so you can keep your job. Two Days, One Night is a harrowing social allegory, a dramatic minimization of a growing socioeconomic reality. The bosses of the world are greedily devouring an ever-expanding amount of wealth, leaving the...


Mr-turner How to Have a Magnificent Period

Although the amount of excess carbon that human beings are introducing into the atmosphere will undoubtedly lead to the catastrophic side effects of global climate change in the near future, period costume dramas are the worst thing happening to the world right now. Despite their exploration of the same sterile, usually white, usually wealthy, usually British societies time and time again, this zombie genre refuses...


Kingsman-image Save the World, Do Butt Stuff

Oh, what a beautiful fable Kingsman: The Secret Service weaves! Its moral is clear: If you save the world from a megalomaniac hellbent on eradicating the bulk of humanity, you get to have anal sex with a Swedish princess!

This useless bit of machismo trash is the only thing that captures the latent fratboy misogyny that populates much of the work of comic book author Mark Millar, whose series was the source...


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San Andreas

A disaster movie in which the "hero" abandons his job saving lives to save the lives of only people related to him.

GRADE
C

The Surface

An unthrilling thriller that will be soon forgotten.

GRADE
D-

Reader Recommends

Mad Max: Fury Road

It's basically "Smash the Patriarchy: The Movie" with really awesome cars.

GRADE
A+

Pitch Perfect 2

A bit too obsessed with repeating its predecessor, this sequel still hums a catchy tune.

GRADE
B

The Salt of the Earth

This documentary explores the life of Sebastião Salgado, a photographer whose work documents some of the worst things in human history.

GRADE
A-

Dior and I

This documentary explores the crazy cool science behind fashion.

GRADE
B-

Avengers: Age of Ultron

The gang returns to face a human-hating robotic James Spader.

GRADE
A-

Ex Machina

A brilliant bit of science fiction that works like a tense stage play.

GRADE
A+

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