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Film

Someone Call Chris Hansen

 

Hot Dino-on-Dino Action

 

Chap-Hazard

 

On Agents and Agency

 

Why So Serious?

 

Save the World, Do Butt Stuff

 

Heaven is Overrated

 

Cons, Vexing

 

Quake and Stakes

 

Nothing Beneath

 

Paulbart-2dir Think on Your Sins, America

Six year ago, we vibrating-forked over almost $150 million to watch inexplicably bankable star Kevin James flail around a PG-rated comedy about an overweight mall security guard who—get this—took his job as seriously as an actual police officer. Ha! We did that and we have to own it. Now, like a reminder that our past tends to catch up with us, James has stretched the self-righteous security guard joke into a second...


Cannesitfollows Sexually Transmitted Ignorance

Writer/director David Robert Mitchell’s It Follows is an alarmingly well-reviewed throwback horror movie that follows Jay Height (Maika Monroe), whose vagina gets cursed by Satan after she does it with her boyfriend. He straps her to a chair and explains she’s got poltergeist AIDS now because he had it and gave it to her. He says she’ll be followed by a shape-shifting monster thing that will slowly walk at her, and...


Furious-7 The Bacon of Blockbusters

Hands down, my favorite discussion in the wake of Furious 7 doing to the box office what Vin Diesel does to elocution (which is to say, stomping it to oblivion): “Do we really need another Fast and Furious movie?” No. No we do not. We also didn’t need to land on the moon. Nor did we need to create the 1967 Ford Mustang. We did it because it was awesome and we could, dammit.

Hail Fast and Furious, a franchise that...


71 Unlucky Harms

Americans can barely be bothered to care about civil unrest and violence currently unfolding on their own soil, let alone on another continent…let alone a conflict that has since resolved years ago. Thus, even though the lasting peace that was brokered between dissidents and the British government in Northern Ireland should be of interest to the United States, if only because it would serve as a potential model...


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The Wolfpack

A fascinating documentary about a family locked away by their father who use film to escape.

GRADE
A-

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Tomorrowland

Because no one should see it, maybe it should be called Neverland.

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On DVD

Chappie

A cliched Robocop riff stuffed with an insane South African rave-rap band.

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Spy

An action-comedy that's one bad recurring joke away from darn good!

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B

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