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Sanandreas0005 Quake and Stakes

Let’s get this clear up front: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s character, Ray, in San Andreas is stealthily one of the most morally bankrupt, narcissistic assholes to ever be called a “hero.” He’s introduced as having saved more than 600 lives during his many years with the Los Angeles Fire Department. By the film’s end, in the wake of the greatest disaster (natural or otherwise) in human history, his “lives saved”...


B99374915z.1 20141029161935 000 g798f71a.1-0 Nothing Beneath

The Surface is a frustratingly difficult film to discuss because it revolves around mysteries so plainly obvious that I’m not sure what I can and can’t tell you without ruining the, um…surprises? The story follows two strangers suddenly trapped together on a sinking boat in the middle of Lake Michigan. I never doubted their reasons for being on the boat, and didn’t realize I was even supposed to until they started...


Mad-max-fury-road-furiosa-1  medium Men Ruin Everything

I don’t want to review Mad Max: Fury Road. I want to write love letters to it or draw it like one of those French girls. If I could find the right keystroke combination, this review would just be one long onomatopoetic recreation of the feral roar of approval bellowed from deep within my bosom as the credits rolled. They’ve called it a “game-changer,” a “masterpiece” and a “work of genius,” but none of those capture...


Pitchperfect20003 All Refrain

Fact: It’s harder to make people laugh than cry. Fact: It’s harder to make someone laugh a second time than the first. Conclusion: Comedy sequels are the hardest sequels to make satisfying.

Pitch Perfect was a comedy ninja, stealthily stepping from shadows to chuck a throwing star of hilarity into the funny bone of unsuspecting viewers. But Pitch Perfect 2 is an encore performed before a ravenously loyal crowd...


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Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation

Ethan Hunt and company must save the world. Again. Actually, again, again, again. 

GRADE
A-

Southpaw

Jake Gyllenhaal swings but the film kinda misses.

GRADE
C+

Ant-Man

A delightfully scaled-down heist movie featuring shrinking superheroes.

GRADE
A-

Minions

A spinoff of Despicable Me that isn't totally despicable. 

GRADE
C+

Amy

A soul-crushing look at a siren taken too early.

GRADE
A+

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl

Another coming-of-age dramedy about a sad, privileged white kid.

GRADE
D

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On DVD: What We Do in the Shadows

A mocumentary about vampires that actually has teeth.

GRADE
A

Magic Mike XXL

The gang is back to dry hump. ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!

GRADE
B-

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