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Film

Define “Run”

 

Ending in the Middle Earth

 

World’s Greatest Mom

 

Chap-Hazard

 

Leni Riefen-stalling

 

Cons, Vexing

 

Please Sir, May I Have My Job?

 

How to Have a Magnificent Period

 

Save the World, Do Butt Stuff

 

Oopsie Genius

 

Holli-dazed and Reviewed

There is a difference between a guide to holiday movies and holiday movie guide. The former is simply a tour of cloying Christmas-time flicks you know by heart and the latter is a battle plan, a plan of action, a roadmap to maximizing your entertainment during whatever vacation you have managed to squirrel away for these winter days. Let’s consider various scenarios to ensure you maximize your movie merriment.

...


Par for the Corset

A quick preface before I eviscerate gifted director Joe Wright’s self-indulgent adaptation of genius playwright Tom Stoppard’s artifice-laden take on Leo Tolstoy’s classic Anna Karenina. I wrote a Master’s thesis on the influence 17th and 18th century female conduct books designed to codify feminine behavior had on the writing of Daniel Defoe’s satirical novel “Moll Flanders.” I don’t mention this just to make me...


Hawkes Virginity Hunt-ed

America’s Puritanical origins mean “sweetly sexual” may sound oxymoronic, but that phrase absolutely defines The Sessions, the softest and kindest movie to ever feature a star of “Mad About You” buck nekkid. Although nudity being “integral to the role” is a con that lecherous producers love to peddle to starlets drowning in Hollywood’s misogynistic subculture, this is a film legitimately predicated on preaching a...


Artificially Sweetened Pi

Forget Babe Ruth pointing a stick at bleachers; Life of Pi raises the stakes on “shot-calling” to unprecedented levels. Early on, it is explicitly stated that if the older version of Pi (Irrfan Khan) in the present day does not tell a story that convinces “The Writer” (Rafe Spall)—and by extension, the audience—in the existence of God, it’s a failure. No pressure or anything.

Considering that what follows is a...


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If this was humanity's last hope, give up.

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On DVD:

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

The epic conclusion to the most epic of epics.

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Mommy

Writer/director Xavier Dolan's latest is an electric emotional epic.

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Chappie

A cliched Robocop riff stuffed with an insane South African rave-rap band.

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C

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