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Film

Hurts So Good

 

Aw, Man

 

Wave Goodbye

 

The Long of It

 

Speaking of Suicide…

 

Crawl for Your Oscar, Leo

 

Tarantinope

 

I See You, 2016

 

Awake My Soul

 

Extra, Extra Bad Things

 

Pirates of Care and Well-Being

Danish writer/director Tobias Lindholm’s Kapringen (A Hijacking) is sure to make Tom Hanks’ upcoming Captain Phillips look like a pleasure ride on the Good Ship Lollypop. In places that unofficially celebrate “Talk Like a Pirate Day,” the term brings to mind Johnny Depp’s ambiguously sexual Keith Richards’ drag act. But for a good portion of the world, the word pirate does not conjure mascara-laden eyes and a...


Title Lies

Another slobbery wet kiss to white privileged coming of age, The Spectacular Now asks us to believe, among other implausible things, that Shailene Woodley, one of People Magazine’s 2012 “Most Beautiful People at Every Age,” is some kind of Annie-Average-Plain-Jane.  Look, nobody expects sensitivity or realism from Hollywood, but encouraging average young women across America to believe this is the cultural...


“This Isn’t a Comic Book”

Writer/director Jeff Wadlow’s Kick-Ass 2 is “morning radio shock jock” offensive, which is a thematic departure from the source material written by Mark Millar. But is it better to flinch from the vile, reprobate, misogynistic glee of Millar’s comic miniseries or to be a limp, confused juvenile offender, flipping off passing cars and then running away when they stop? There is something truly horrifying and...


SeaWorld Can Suck It

Breaking news: You know those giant, majestic, ocean-dwelling creatures with the first name “killer?” Turns out if you lock them in tiny spaces it kills them, and if you get in with them they kill you. Nothing says “family fun” like aquatic murder and animal mistreatment, right SeaWorld?

Blackfish is less a documentary and more a 83-minute hit job on the aforementioned tourist attraction. Writer/director...


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Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

I mean, it's kind of all there in the title, right?

GRADE
C

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The Boy

An allegedly creepy movie about a dull doll.

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The Fifth Wave

An impression of an impression of good sci-fi. For young people!! 

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The Big Short

The story of the housing market collapse as told by the people who...weren't hurt at all by it.

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