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Film

Subversive Profundity

 

Dogged Determination

 

Lucy Goosey

 

Ending in the Middle Earth

 

Everyone is Awful

 

Worst. Children’s Book. Ever.

 

Happy, Little Clouded

 

Cinéma Very Tame

 

No Big Bang

 

Bro-man Holiday

 

Falling Down 12 Steps

The ubiquitous hyperbolic after-school-special-type of dramatization of the perils of alcoholism has lost its teeth; it no longer delivers a social bite so much as it gets drool everywhere. Thus, in many ways, what Smashed wanted to do is something necessary, as we need a reboot of our cultural cautionary tale that ditches the wailing melodrama in favor of the muted reality of modern addiction.

Mary Elizabeth...


Am I Sick?

The moment when the seemingly-perpetually-creepily-coiffed Javier Bardem caresses Daniel Craig’s thigh parts and whispers whatever the supervillain equivalent of a sweet nothing is, using whatever non-geographically distinct accent he uses this time, is the precise moment Skyfall becomes the best Bond film in decades. Why? Because of Bond’s response.

Instead of recoiling, the supersexy superspy responds to a...


Metal Lurching

To walk in to The Man with the Iron Fists by choice is to give up your right to bitch about story and character. This is a movie written and directed by The RZA, a member of the powerhouse rap group The Wu-Tang Clan; produced by Eli Roth, the guy who made Hostel, and overseen by Quentin Tarantino, whose grindhouse kung fu depravity knows no bounds. To claim you expected good acting and a consequential plot is to...


8-Bit-O-Honey

For a generation weaned on more Mario than Mother Goose, Wreck-It Ralph has been a long time coming. An 8-bit fairy tale with a burly bruiser in the role of the misunderstood princess, it skews a tad more prepubescent than Pixar but shares similar DNA. Writers Jennifer Lee and Phil Johnston won’t be unlocking any bonus levels for originality, with a conceit that feels poached from Toy Story and a take-home message...


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Project Almanac

An impossibly dumb movie about shallow morons and time travel.

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F

Blackhat

Can cybercrime fighting be sexy? Probably not.

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