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Film

The Bacon of Blockbusters

 

Unlucky Harms

 

Mocku-Dracu-mentary

 

Don’t Watch Once

 

Awful, Not Full of Awe

 

Define “Run”

 

Ending in the Middle Earth

 

World’s Greatest Mom

 

Chap-Hazard

 

Leni Riefen-stalling

 

You’ll Need a Haneke

Oh, hell no. Why you gotta do us like that, writer/director Michael Haneke? Is life not already emotionally dense enough that you have to go and drop Amour on us just to remind us how finite and precious this human experience is? This is the sort of film you don’t watch first thing in the morning (because your whole day is shot wallowing in the reality of mortality) or last thing at night (because good luck...


Mile-High Rock Bottom

By the ghost of Ernest Hemingway: Is anything more consistently compelling than the narrative of a brilliant, talented soul undone by uncontrollable addiction? Flight is an old spin on an old tale, focusing on a hero without a heroic bone in his body and a liver that hates him. Director Robert Zemeckis and writer John Gatins may go to the proverbial cliché well over and over again, but so long as there’s fresh...


White People Nearly Died

The 2004 tsunami that struck Eastern Asia was the sixth deadliest “act of God” in recorded history and quieted just under 300,000 lives. The first major motion picture to tackle the subject, The Impossible, is about a group of white folks who get injured and significantly inconvenienced while brown people all around them die in horrible fashion. This is equivalent to making a Holocaust movie about a family of...


Where You Been, Laden?

That members of the US Senate have spent more time discussing the fictional depiction of torture in Zero Dark Thirty than they spent discussing the actual torture the military was performing in the wake of 9/11 is yet more proof that “congress” is the opposite of “progress.” Of course, this isn’t to say that director Kathryn Bigelow and writer Mark Boal aren’t challenging our ethics. They certainly are, and they...


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Ex Machina

A brilliant bit of science fiction that works like a tense stage play.

GRADE
A+

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The Hunting Ground

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Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2

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It Follows

If you have sex, a demon monster will haunt you. That's just science.

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Furious 7

It's the 7th Fast and Furious movie. Do you need to know more?

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'71

Set against the Northern Ireland conflict, this "trapped behind enemy lines" thriller delivers big time.

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What We Do in the Shadows

A mocumentary about vampires that actually has teeth.

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Kill Me Three Times

Dueling assassins bore in this rip-off of Tarantino, who is himself a notorious ripper-offer...

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