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Film

Everyone is Awful

 

Worst. Children’s Book. Ever.

 

Happy, Little Clouded

 

Cinéma Very Tame

 

No Big Bang

 

Bro-man Holiday

 

Leni Riefen-stalling

 

Oopsie Genius

 

The Burden of Actual Christianity

 

Awful, Not Full of Awe

 

Dwarfing Expectations

We are masters of cynicism, proudly sporting a black-belt in backlash. If this generation of critics, pseudo-critics and armchair-article-writing audience members given the bully pulpit of social media has any legacy, it will be bitching for bitching’s sake.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey is awesome by the literal definition of the word, in that its relentless action, staggeringly nuanced performances and...


Holli-dazed and Reviewed

There is a difference between a guide to holiday movies and holiday movie guide. The former is simply a tour of cloying Christmas-time flicks you know by heart and the latter is a battle plan, a plan of action, a roadmap to maximizing your entertainment during whatever vacation you have managed to squirrel away for these winter days. Let’s consider various scenarios to ensure you maximize your movie merriment.

...


Par for the Corset

A quick preface before I eviscerate gifted director Joe Wright’s self-indulgent adaptation of genius playwright Tom Stoppard’s artifice-laden take on Leo Tolstoy’s classic Anna Karenina. I wrote a Master’s thesis on the influence 17th and 18th century female conduct books designed to codify feminine behavior had on the writing of Daniel Defoe’s satirical novel “Moll Flanders.” I don’t mention this just to make me...


Hawkes Virginity Hunt-ed

America’s Puritanical origins mean “sweetly sexual” may sound oxymoronic, but that phrase absolutely defines The Sessions, the softest and kindest movie to ever feature a star of “Mad About You” buck nekkid. Although nudity being “integral to the role” is a con that lecherous producers love to peddle to starlets drowning in Hollywood’s misogynistic subculture, this is a film legitimately predicated on preaching a...


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Blackhat

Can cybercrime fighting be sexy? Probably not.

GRADE
C

Inherent Vice

An "art-house stoner comedy" based on a Thomas Pynchon novel.

GRADE
B-

On DVD: Lucy

A girl ingests a drug that makes her God. For real.

GRADE
C+

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

The epic conclusion to the most epic of epics.

GRADE
A-

On DVD: Gone Girl

This thriller has many twists, the biggest of which is that it's kind of a satire.

GRADE
A

Reader Recommends

The Babadook

A terrifying tale of an ooky pop-up book and motherly love.

GRADE
A

On DVD: Boyhood

The only coming-of-age story anyone ever needs to make. 

GRADE
A+

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