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Film

Stupid Core

 

Familiar Fish Tale

 

Wartcrap

 

That Boy Ain’t Right

 

Stuck in a Bunker With You?

 

Pop Culture, Popped

 

I Can’t Believe They Went Hare

 

Fun With Catholics and Communism

 

The 10 Best Movie Musicals Ever

 

Laughter Unshelled

 

Artificially Intelligent

Dear cast and crew of Transcendence,

It sucks, but this happens sometimes. You’ve made a perfectly fine (albeit unremarkable) movie, and the critics, both professionals and those deputized by social media, have decided to work you over like you owe them money. It should take human rights violations for a film to score below Need for Speed on this year’s Rotten Tomatoes’ “freshness” scale.

Oh, was that rubbing...


Slipping Mickey

Gather ‘round kids and hear a story from the days of yore, a time when artists drew cartoons with their actual human hands and not every children’s movie had covert sex jokes for ma and pa to chuckle at. It was a time before everything was glossy and smooth, before Pharrell and his hat dropped feel-good funky dance beats over computer animation in an attempt to market a soundtrack to a wider demo.

Ernest &...


Marvel Blockbusts a Cap

With fight choreography pickpocketed from Baryshnikov and more leaping and bounding than Pooh’s friend Tigger on cocaine, Captain America (Chris Evans) makes beating the crap out of bad guys look downright pretty. Give directors Joe and Anthony Russo credit; bucking the law of diminishing returns, the brothers found a way to make the umpteenth superhero movie to be released in the last five minutes thrilling and...


That Ship Cray

They gave the guy who made Requiem for a Dream $150 million to make a movie about Noah’s ark. Huh?! In Requiem, writer/director Darren Aronofsky had Jennifer Connelly connect with another woman via an unforgettable shared “experience.” So, if any exec at Paramount claims they didn’t think Noah would end up like this, they are real dumb.


It takes all of five minutes for Noah to deliver a Dikembe Mutombo-like...


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De Palma

A documentary about director Brian De Palma in which De Palm talks about De Palma...

GRADE
B

Love and Friendship

An Austen adaptation that's a snoozefest, aside from two stinky performances...

GRADE
D

Independence Day: Resurgence

A bloated, unneeded sequel that's more chaos than cheesy fun.

GRADE
D

Central Intelligence

A buddy action movie where the buddies are put backseat to the "action." 

GRADE
B-

Finding Dory

A sequel to Finding Nemo that is pretty much exactly like Finding Nemo.

GRADE
B

Warcraft

An adaptation of a video game that will be enjoyed solely by people who loved that video game.

GRADE
F

On DVD

Midnight Special

A kid with weird powers is trying to get somewhere to do something that doesn't quite make sense.

GRADE
B-

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