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Define “Run”

 

Ending in the Middle Earth

 

World’s Greatest Mom

 

Chap-Hazard

 

Leni Riefen-stalling

 

Cons, Vexing

 

Please Sir, May I Have My Job?

 

How to Have a Magnificent Period

 

Save the World, Do Butt Stuff

 

Oopsie Genius

 

South of Justice

Four movies have been made, and 16 years have passed since three teenagers were imprisoned for a crime they very clearly didn’t commit. The “West Memphis Three,” the subject of copious celebrity crusading and a myriad of documentaries, have become reluctant mascots of a legal system gone awry. An implosion of justice in Arkansas may not seem like breaking news to a country long fatigued about moral problems in the...


For Me? Fine. So Dumb!

The theory holds that monkeys typing on a typewriter can eventually produce “Hamlet” by accident. Presumably, Jack the Giant Slayer is one of the monkeys’ lesser works. Hobbled together by five writers, one of whom is a previous Best Screenplay Oscar winner, this film is a series of studio executive notes stretched into two hours. Unimaginative, uninspired, undeserving of attention, this bloated monstrosity...


I Immediately Regret This Decision

It has been claimed by the defendant, Mr. Ryan Syrek, that the film Beautiful Creatures is neither “reductive Twilight barf” nor “derivative young-adult hormonal daydreaming” but that it is, instead, “charming and kinda fun.” The prosecution points to Mr. Syrek’s questionable celebration of such films as Miss Congeniality 2 and Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters as evidence of his compromised mental state. Let the...


Die Hardly

John McClane (Bruce Willis), the hyper-violent man perpetually wrong in place and time, has always been Rambo by way of “grumpy cat.” The only thing that makes Die Hard actually Die Hard is the surly sense of humor McClane spouts whilst committing copious homicides. Sadly, A Good Day to Die Hard turns him into a boring dick who you wish would find death a little less difficult to embrace.

A Good Day to Die Hard...


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