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Film

Hurts So Good

 

Aw, Man

 

Wave Goodbye

 

The Long of It

 

Speaking of Suicide…

 

Crawl for Your Oscar, Leo

 

Tarantinope

 

I See You, 2016

 

Awake My Soul

 

Extra, Extra Bad Things

 

Tame, Lame Video Game

Glam it up all you want: Ender’s Game is about a kid playing a high-stakes video game. And before Fred Savage-fueled visions of The Wizard go Super-Mario-dancing in your head, you should know this features absolutely no Power Glove love.

Based on a beloved book by awful homophobe and terrible human being Orson Scott Card, Ender’s Game is about how bad/good war is, how noble/irrelevant compassion is and how...


Fingers Crossed

Take your pick: Would you rather (A) spend tons of money to send your young black son to a largely white private school, where he will be constantly reminded of his minority standing and subjected to double-standards from peers and teachers, or (B) take your chances in public school, where he will likely find a supportive peer group but faces substandard education and potential dangerous conflicts? Those hoping...


Great-uitous

Let’s just get right to it: The 12-minute graphic lesbian sex scene at the heart of Blue is the Warmest Color is crazy problematic. Not because the hauntingly talented participants, Adèle (Adèle Exarchopoulos) and Emma (Léa Seydoux), aren’t infusing the scene with honest passion and sexual self-discovery. No, it’s more that it doesn’t feel “right;” the framing and pace, along with several “logistical” components,...


Bad Advice

Featuring an all-star cast of irreproachable actors…and also Cameron Diaz, The Counselor had Ridley Scott at the helm and an original screenplay written by Cormac McCarthy. All the ingredients in this cinematic recipe are independently delicious; so why does the final meal taste like week-old dumpster pizza with extra anchovies?

From the first sequence, which features Michael Fassbender’s nameless character...


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Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

I mean, it's kind of all there in the title, right?

GRADE
C

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Room

An emotional wrecking ball about a mother and son kept in captivity.

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A

The Boy

An allegedly creepy movie about a dull doll.

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D

The Fifth Wave

An impression of an impression of good sci-fi. For young people!! 

GRADE
D

The Big Short

The story of the housing market collapse as told by the people who...weren't hurt at all by it.

GRADE
B+

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