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Film

Mocku-Dracu-mentary

 

Don’t Watch Once

 

Awful, Not Full of Awe

 

Define “Run”

 

Ending in the Middle Earth

 

World’s Greatest Mom

 

Chap-Hazard

 

Leni Riefen-stalling

 

Cons, Vexing

 

Please Sir, May I Have My Job?

 

Mr-turner How to Have a Magnificent Period

Although the amount of excess carbon that human beings are introducing into the atmosphere will undoubtedly lead to the catastrophic side effects of global climate change in the near future, period costume dramas are the worst thing happening to the world right now. Despite their exploration of the same sterile, usually white, usually wealthy, usually British societies time and time again, this zombie genre refuses...


Kingsman-image Save the World, Do Butt Stuff

Oh, what a beautiful fable Kingsman: The Secret Service weaves! Its moral is clear: If you save the world from a megalomaniac hellbent on eradicating the bulk of humanity, you get to have anal sex with a Swedish princess!

This useless bit of machismo trash is the only thing that captures the latent fratboy misogyny that populates much of the work of comic book author Mark Millar, whose series was the source...


Oopsie Genius

I know two things for sure: (1) Birdman aims to relentlessly drive home one singular point, one thoroughly expressed thesis about life and art. (2) It does not succeed. You would think that would make the work of writers Nicolás Giacobone, Alexander Dinelaris, Armando Bo and writer/director Alejandro González Iñárritu a total misfire. Not so fast, my fine-feathered friends. Despite its lack of clarity, conflicting...


No Big Bang

In 1965, Stephen Hawking wrote his first ground-breaking thesis and wed Jane Wilde. His paper argued that if a star can collapse inwards to form a singularity, then a singularity can explode back outward. The Theory of Everything explores this same theory, only instead of stars, it's marriage. Which isn’t to say new “stars” aren’t formed; Eddie Redmayne and Felicity Jones both provide sensational performances in The...


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Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2

The worst thing that ever happened.

GRADE
F

It Follows

If you have sex, a demon monster will haunt you. That's just science.

GRADE
D

Furious 7

It's the 7th Fast and Furious movie. Do you need to know more?

GRADE
A-

Reader Recommends

'71

Set against the Northern Ireland conflict, this "trapped behind enemy lines" thriller delivers big time.

GRADE
A-

Reader Recommends

What We Do in the Shadows

A mocumentary about vampires that actually has teeth.

GRADE
A

Kill Me Three Times

Dueling assassins bore in this rip-off of Tarantino, who is himself a notorious ripper-offer...

GRADE
D

On DVD

Interstellar

If this was humanity's last hope, give up.

GRADE
D

Run All Night

Hey everybody, it's that one movie where Liam Neeson does the old man action thing...again...

GRADE
D

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