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Cutting Room for March 27

 

Cutting Room for March 20

 

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How to get Lonely, become Bulletproof, and create World Peace

 

Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions for January 14

Well, it's a big weekend. Oh, not for movies, those mostly suck right now. I'll be spending 100% of my energy trying to will my Chicago Bears not to blow ass against the inferior but dangerous Seattle Seahawks. Remember, Pete Caroll is a horrible person who feeds off the souls of children. Bear down, Chicago Bears! And I urge you if you are not FROM Seattle or married to Pete Caroll, I sure could use your good...


Ryan’s Junk Drawer for January 14

"With great junk, comes great responsibility" - Better Off Ted

It's probably been hard for you to stay focused at work today when you've been wondering when you're going to see my junk. It sneaks up on you sometimes, my junk. You'll just be working away and then, WHAMMO right on your computer screen is all of my junk. What if your boss catches you looking at my junk? Oh, hell, it's worth it, right? To be fair,...


Things You Should Buy Me (Volume 61)

Well, the holidays are officially over, as I'm back to receiving ZERO of the things that I am very clearly and articulately telling people to buy me. My wife actually had to call the help desk at ThinkGeek the other day. When I heard her give our last name, I thought: "Well, now she's about to get some respect, and I'm about to discover that they're waiting to send me a giant shipment of products and various goodies...


Wednesday’s Daily Dump

Hey blog fans, welcome back. Are you excited that I've chosen to hang on to "The Daily Dump?" No? But...but there's so many doody-related jokes that will be inspired by that decision. It's a brown treasure! It's a number one, number two decision! The jokes will just squirt out of me! See, this is a good time, isn't it? I am nothing if not classy. No, wait, it was crude. I'm nothing if not crude. My bad, C-words are...


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Ex Machina

A brilliant bit of science fiction that works like a tense stage play.

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A+

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'71

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Kill Me Three Times

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