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Cutting Room for January 12

  • What better way for Eminem to prove he should be taken seriously as an actor than to star in Random Acts of Violence, a film originally written as a take on the video game “Grand Theft Auto”? While Em wasn’t going to completely win over critics who dismiss him as verbally malevolent, I’m guessing any chance he had of separating his acting from his music is about to get shot in the face.

  • How do you replace...


Tuesday’s square round-up

I need advice on what to call these daily editions. I am reserving the term "junk drawer" for my Friday column, because it's pulled from the whole week (and if there was other junk around, my junk wouldn't feel as special...and my junk is very special, right?). Thursday is now the day of Things You Should Buy Me, so what do we call the daily collection of news on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday? Does each one get...


All the news I feel like printing for Monday

Not a whole lot happened over the weekend. I mean in terms of film. Plenty of interesting things happened in the world over the weekend, just not ones I get to make pithy jokes about here. I was going to go for some metaphor about how slow the weekend news was, but I couldn't choose between "slow" meaning stupid and "slow" meaning takes a long time. There is nothing worse than metaphor indecision. Nothing in the...


Box Office Results 1/10

Fancy meetin' you here! I mean, it's not particularly FANCY...there are no doilies or fine china or anything. Makes you wonder why that expression is usually said like a cowboy. Did cowboys really refer to things as "fancy?" Curious.

Anyhoodle, I am excited to get to these haikus because I heard a great haiku this weekend at a poetry slam about Malcolm X, Warren Buffet, and how Omaha must have some great sperm. Now...


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