Slow weekend, good picture

Hey all! Hope you had a smashing weekend of awesomeness and fun. I actually spent my weekend doing things that make me far more tired than the things I do during the week...so I'm living in a Bizarro-world where my body is insisting that "me am on weekend." I want to sleep.

The good news is, so does the rest of the world, as the weekend's news items are all piffle. There's some minor buzz about a potential lead on the Batman plot (it may be based on a graphic novel that is obscure and will NOT feature Two Face), rumors of a new Will Ferrell/Zach Galifianakis movie (presumably titled, Using the Last of Our Good Will), and revelations that Campbell Scott and some other lesser-known actors will be playing Peter Parker's parents in the new Spidey movie alongside a guy from Slumdog Millionaire who is reportedly playing a villain named Van Atter, although I'm a Spider-fanatic and have never heard of that character. All in all, everyone who makes news and rumors must have been using all that sleep I wasn't.

But there is good news at the end of this mundane, monochromatic rainbow of nothingness: We got our first look at how Emma Stone is going to look as Gwen Stacy. You know, I've had my doubts about this project. Stone seemed perfect for Mary Jane, not Gwen; Andrew Garfield is a fine actor but not quite what I envisioned for Peter; the origin being retold is boring, boring, boring; they're apparently using Peter's parents somehow; the casting for the supporting folks is just so obvious and annoying (Sally Field as Aunt May?); the Lizard is a terrible lead villain; and so on. So it warms my heart to give you the first good news we've had about this project so far.

Yeah, so I'm pretty excited about this project now. Love what they're doing. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go remind the 15-year-old that lives in my heart that Gwen Stacy still isn't actually a real person.

Follow me on Twitter or Santa will bring you a Miley Cyrus DVD boxed set for Christmas.


entered on 12/06/10 at 05:35 PM | read comments »


Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions - 12/3/2010

Greetings to blog-thusiasts young and old, new and experienced, attractive and...oh who am I kidding, you're all beautiful to me. This is how we wrap things up for the week: Every Friday I will make box office predictions consisting of the top 5 films (and a wildcard that may make it in). Then, on Monday, I rank myself using a formula that is way to boring for me to explain given how arbitrary these things are. Oh, and I do it all in haiku. This both separates me from the other predictors out there and makes it so that you have some high-class culture while you're slumming on my site.

But before I do that, I usually start with some chit-chat about the weekend. Like, for example: This weekend the Chicago Bears can lock up a winning season. That's part of what I will be thinking of this weekend...that and the speech team I coach that is. I hope that you have some wonderful seasonal plans ahead of you. Things like ice skating outside, sipping on hot wassail, spending every last dollar you have until you are destitute. You know, that sort of thing. Whatever you do, be safe, be happy, and we'll see you back here on Monday, okay?

Now, on to some haikuing! Here's how I see this week:

1.) Tangled - $26 million Who dethrones Potter? It's CGI Rapunzel! That is a schocker.

2.) Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 - $21 million Don't cry for him, though. This is still a giant hit. Not the series' best.

3.) Megamind - $6.5 million Forgot about this. It just keeps inching along. Like a centipede.

4.) Unstoppable - $6 million I don't get this one. It's a thrilling TRAIN movie? What year is it now?

5.) Burlesque - $5.5 million Cher AND Christina? That duo ain't dynamic, it's more pathetic.

Wildcard The Warrior's Way - $5.5 million A ninja western? That is intriguing to me. But maybe JUST me.

Okay, that's it for the week y'all. Have a good one, and don't forget to follow me on Twitter!


entered on 12/03/10 at 06:23 PM | read comments »


PTA gets his pinch on

Happy Friday to ya, folks. Nothing really big percolating this week, so I thought I'd hit you with a goodie that will make at least a few people I know smile ear to ear. Recently, my personal pick for most brilliant writer/director currently above ground, Paul Thomas Anderson (or PTA as his buddies call him...because of his initials, not because he's good at conversations betwixt instructor and parents), had his project loosely based on a skewering of Scientology fall through. Supposedly, it had something to do with a creative block he encountered. I mean, we all know what really happened: PTA flicked on the light in his bathroom to find Tom Cruise in his shower laughing and pointing at him with a knife in his hand. Later, when he went to bed, he rolled over to find Will Smith whispering "Drop the movie" in his ear. At any rate, I was bummed, because I want more PTA as much as Miley Cyrus wants to be thought of erotically.

Cut to today and this news: PTA is possibly doing an adaptation next...and not just any adaptation...a Thomas Pynchon adaptation. For those who are unfamiliar, Pynchon's novels are the ones with perfectly unbent spines you find in someone's library you respect. Why? Because that person is smart enough to TRY Pynchon and was likely brow-beaten into submission after chapter one by the incredibly dense, sprawling prose. Pynchon is fantastic. PTA is fantastic. Thus I find this idea fantastic. Not hyped enough, let's have Pynchon himself hype you up:

Reclusive he may be, but still willing to drop a good voice over. Oh, and did I mention the talk is that Robert Downey Jr may join on? Yeah, because he might. The story is a detective tale set in the drugged-out 1960s...and has borne comparisons to The Big Lebowski. Yeah, so Robert Downey Jr (who was at his best in Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang) may star in a PTA movie based on a Pynchon novel. Happy friggin' Friday to me!

I pity the fool who don't follow me on Twitter!


entered on 12/03/10 at 06:03 PM | read comments »


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Dear White People

The type of smart, ballsy satire that comes along all too rarely.

GRADE
A



War is hell, but this movie is just hella slow.

GRADE


Dracula Untold

What if Dracula was a superhero?!

GRADE
C


Gone Girl

This thriller has many twists, the biggest of which is that it's kind of a satire.

GRADE
A


The Boxtrolls

A stop-motion romp with near-nekkid trolls and a cross-dressing villain.

GRADE
B-


The Skeleton Twins

A dramedy about suicide elevated by its stars.

GRADE
B


Frank

A band that has a lead singer with a fake head will win your heart.

GRADE
A-


The Adventures of Super Vlad

Left out of the superhero movie party every other studio is throwing, Universal made the ballsy decision to turn Dracula...

more »


Everyone is Awful

Warning to newly engaged couples: Do not see Gone Girl, a movie that makes marriage look like The Hunger Games with slightly...

more »


Swimming in the Laika

From Ray Harryhausen’s Medusa to Henry Selick’s Jack Skellington, stop-motion animation is just frickin’ cool, yo. Maybe...

more »


The Dies That Bind

“Hilarious!” say the trailers! “Really funny!” says the poster. “You are all sick people!” says me.

Yes, in parts, The...

more »


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