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Monday’s Daily Dump (1/18/11)

January is the cruelest month, no matter what Eliot said. Seriously, it's cold as blue balls out there, there's not enough football to keep us distracted, the movies largely suck, and there's no news of note really. It's a stupid, frosty month that only exists because my wife's birthday is in it. If it weren't for that, I'd have capped January in the face years ago. Let's take a look at the pathetic non-news news...


Box Office Results for the weekend of January 14

There was a glitch in my HTML coding, which sounds like a nerdy way of saying I had diarrhea or something. But what really happened is that I forgot to slash or unslash inside a carrot and for some reason it ate all of my numbers associated with my predictions on Friday. Not that anybody NOTICED OR TOLD ME OR ANYTHING! Jeez, it's like a guy whose zipper was so unzipped you could see all of Florida and the Florida...


Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions for January 14

Well, it's a big weekend. Oh, not for movies, those mostly suck right now. I'll be spending 100% of my energy trying to will my Chicago Bears not to blow ass against the inferior but dangerous Seattle Seahawks. Remember, Pete Caroll is a horrible person who feeds off the souls of children. Bear down, Chicago Bears! And I urge you if you are not FROM Seattle or married to Pete Caroll, I sure could use your good...


Ryan’s Junk Drawer for January 14

"With great junk, comes great responsibility" - Better Off Ted

It's probably been hard for you to stay focused at work today when you've been wondering when you're going to see my junk. It sneaks up on you sometimes, my junk. You'll just be working away and then, WHAMMO right on your computer screen is all of my junk. What if your boss catches you looking at my junk? Oh, hell, it's worth it, right? To be fair,...


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