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Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions - 1/7

Looks like I'm back in the haiku saddle again, ready to toss off some poetic verse whilst predicting the tallies and totals from what is sure to be a yawner of a weekend at the box office. Why do I say that? Oh, I don't know, do you think the lines for Country Strong or Season of the Witch will be long? Because those are your only new releases. Icky. Speaking of icky, here are my predictions!

1.) True Grit - $17...


Ryan’s Junk Drawer For January 7

"With great junk, comes great responsibility" - Better Off Ted

I swear on my life I would post blogs more often if this new system didn't sporadically swallow them whole. I crafted for you a brilliant cornucopia of words. A hilarious, breathtaking, bouncy blend of verb and noun that was just totally gone when I tried to post it. Ever flush a chunk of your life straight down a toilet? Sigh. Now I am left recreating...


Things You Should Buy Me (Volume 60)

Okay, you don't have to buy me anything this week. I accept that I have done nothing worthy of your free swag this week, in that I promised you no absences and then promptly took the next day off. In my defense: (A) - This new system is NOT as user friendly for quick posting, (2) - I am easily distracted, (C) - I probably deserve lots of gifts for all my hard work previous to this during which time very few people...


Cutting Room for January 5

I was appalled (and oddly intrigued) at the instruction I received from my editor this week, until I realized she told me to grab my crystal ball for this week’s column. Let’s just say the first draft of this installment was a little saucier until I realized she wanted predictions. So here’s the best brief supposition and speculation I can suppose to speculate:

  • 3D will D-cline: Studios aren’t seeing the...


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Project Almanac

An impossibly dumb movie about shallow morons and time travel.

GRADE
F

Blackhat

Can cybercrime fighting be sexy? Probably not.

GRADE
C

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An "art-house stoner comedy" based on a Thomas Pynchon novel.

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On DVD: John Wick

You kill his dog, he kills a million people. You've been warned.

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On DVD: Lucy

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The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

The epic conclusion to the most epic of epics.

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A-

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