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Cutting Room for February 16

  • I don’t know a word in French that wasn’t in “Lady Marmalade,” so someone needs to tell me if “Le Figaro” translates to “Liars with Pants of Fire.” Why? Well, a French newspaper with that name is reporting that Marion Cotillard was just cast in The Dark Knight Rises. If the French aren’t lying to me again, I’m ecstatic. My only regret is that Anne Hathaway beat her to Catwoman’s spandex.

  • The...


Daily Dump for Monday (February 14)

That groundhog knows his shit, huh? In the midst of the coldest stretch of the year that fuzzy bastard said "it ends soon." Well tickle me with groundhog fur, we've been swimming around in melted snow rivers as the temps have soared and with it, my mood! Rejoice for the wonder of nature and its ability to lessen my grumpitude. Unless of course I'm watching the Grammys. Last night Facebook friends got a little taste...


Ryan’s Junk Drawer (February 11)

"With great junk, comes great responsibility" - Better Off Ted

Finally! I made you wait for my junk too long this week, and I apologize. My junk is something that nobody should wait for, as a general rule. I've been trying to get people to look at my junk whenever they want for years now. The more the merrier, when it comes to my junk, I say! And yet, here I go, making you think my junk wasn't going to pop up this...


Things You Should Buy Me (Volume 64)

I suppose I should be thankful. Right now, everybody around me is either infected with some plague that is clearly a precursor to the zombie apocalypse or otherwise afflicted with mental ailments. Me? I feel sleepy pie and have a tiny throat tickle. So I SHOULD be satisfied with having superior hit points to everyone else, but I'm not. I want stuff. More stuff. Expensive stuff. Stuff you buy. Since Christmas I have...


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San Andreas

A disaster movie in which the "hero" abandons his job saving lives to save the lives of only people related to him.

GRADE
C

The Surface

An unthrilling thriller that will be soon forgotten.

GRADE
D-

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Mad Max: Fury Road

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Pitch Perfect 2

A bit too obsessed with repeating its predecessor, this sequel still hums a catchy tune.

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B

The Salt of the Earth

This documentary explores the life of Sebastião Salgado, a photographer whose work documents some of the worst things in human history.

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A-

Dior and I

This documentary explores the crazy cool science behind fashion.

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B-

Avengers: Age of Ultron

The gang returns to face a human-hating robotic James Spader.

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A-

Ex Machina

A brilliant bit of science fiction that works like a tense stage play.

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A+

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