Cutting Room for April 6

  • While theologians and atheists continue to spar over the existence of an eternal creator, The Reader can officially confirm that the devil is 100 percent real. The proof? Ashton Kutcher is teaming up with Justin Bieber in a romantic comedy. No, they won’t play each other’s love interests, as that would be too original and creative. Seriously, Brokeback-ing rom-coms with something like, I don’t know, When Harry Met Harry, would be the shot-in-the-arm this stale genre needs. No, it’s a lame-ass body-swap-type movie, in which a 17-year-old meets the 30-year-old version of himself. Nothing confirms the reality of Satan like the unholy union of Kutcher and Bieber.

  • Stan Lee, creator of Spiderman and thus co-owner of a large part of my heart, is teaming up with Arnold Schwarzenegger to create an animated series called The Governator. You will soon know it by its real name: Unwatchable. The show will attempt meta-humor, as it features his real wife and kids and follows Arnie leaving Californian office to become a superhero. How weird is it that the fictional part is the superhero part and not the part where he ran California?

  • James Cameron is taking a break from actively writing Avatar 2 and 3, a task I assumed would take him the length of a commercial break. He took a trip to what he calls “the real Pandora,” which is the Brazilian rainforest. While there, a friendly local tribe, the Caiapos, made a definite impact, as the egomaniac declared “If I had met the Caiapos before making Avatar, I would certainly have made a better film.” Oh, sure, blame them. They also gave him a tribal name, Krapremp-ti. The Krap part I totally agree with.

Cutting Room provides breaking local and national movie news … complete with added sarcasm. Send any relevant information to .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address). Check out Ryan on the radio on CD 105.9 (Fridays at around 7:30 a.m.), on his blog at thereader.com/film/C19 and on Twitter (twitter.com/thereaderfilm).


entered on 04/08/11 at 06:16 PM | read comments »


Cutting Room for March 30

  • Although I don’t need an excuse to be overly communicative, the University of Nebraska at Omaha is giving me one the last week of April. The school will recognize it as “Communication Week,” and one of the cool happenings during this celebration of all things communicatively connected will take place at the Aksarben Cinema. On Tuesday, April 26 at 5:30 p.m., the theater will screen DuSable to Obama: Chicago’s Black Metropolis, a documentary written by the dean of UNO’s School of Communication, Gail F. Baker. Those who wish to check out this powerful history of Chicago’s African-American community should drop an email to .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address). There. I’ve done my best to communicate the communicative communications of Communication Week.

  • Likely drawn in by the repeating initials, Amy Adams will be Lois Lane in Zack Snyder’s Superman reboot. The lovely thespian will be able to show off a wide range of emotions, including “frightened,” “helpless” and “moderately sassy.” It’s the type of role actresses are drawn to for so many reasons … reasons that can be stacked neatly and handed to a bank teller.

  • In what the uninspired will surely call “Ballet-Gate,” a scandal has erupted over the dancing in Black Swan. A body double named Sarah Lane is claiming that she was actually the body in 95 percent of the full-body dance scenes in Black Swan, making Natalie Portman’s Oscar-winning performance significantly less impressive. The film’s choreographer, Benjamin Millepied, says Natalie did 85 percent of the dancing ... although, it may be hard to trust him because he 100 percent totally knocked-up Natalie Portman. Is this an unknown body double’s attempt to get media attention or have we been hoodwinked? Luckily, nobody really cares.

Cutting Room provides breaking local and national movie news … complete with added sarcasm. Send any relevant information to .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address). Check out Ryan on the radio on CD 105.9 (Fridays at around 7:30 a.m.), on his blog at thereader.com/film/C19 and on Twitter (twitter.com/thereaderfilm).


entered on 03/30/11 at 09:39 PM | read comments »


Cutting Room for March 23

  • I think I accidentally mentally combined the two events that Film Streams at the Ruth Sokolof Theater (filmstreams.org) have planned for April 1 to June 16. They’re doing another installment of two film series: “Forever Young Family and Children’s Series” and “Great Directors.” But I’m pretty sure that kids won’t be rushing to see 8 1/2 and that Pete’s Dragon wasn’t a Fellini movie (although I wish it was). For accurate lists of when each series will be showing what, I recommend checking the site and not asking me, as I’m likely to suggest you take the family to go see Satyricon.

  • Attack the Block, a flick in which urban British youth fight aliens, is getting rave reviews and sparking an interesting discussion: Do the thick accents the kids sport warrant subtitles for the wide release? A legion of moviegoers are prone to grab a pitchfork and torch at the thought of reading during movies. However, the potential of hearing “what did he say?” a thousand times and the fact that I have no allergic reaction to seeing words on a screen leaves me hoping they slap some text on this bad boy. Regardless, it’s an interesting discussion, no?

  • Magic Kingdom has been described as Night at the Museum in Disneyland, or as I summarize it, “Oh God … please … no!” But the first draft was written by Ron Moore, who made millions love the reboot of Battlestar Galactica. Now comes word that the rewrite duties will be handled by Pulitzer Prize winner Michael Chabon. This is like that one time that a Nobel Prize-winning physicist made me a sandwich at Subway.

Cutting Room provides breaking local and national movie news … complete with added sarcasm. Send any relevant information to .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address). Check out Ryan on the radio on CD 105.9 (Fridays at around 7:30 a.m.), on his blog at thereader.com/film/C19 and on Twitter (twitter.com/thereaderfilm).


entered on 03/23/11 at 10:09 PM | read comments »


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John Wick

You kill his dog, he kills a million people. You've been warned.

GRADE
B


Dear White People

The type of smart, ballsy satire that comes along all too rarely.

GRADE
A


Fury

War is hell, but this movie is just hella slow.

GRADE
C+


Dracula Untold

What if Dracula was a superhero?!

GRADE
C


Gone Girl

This thriller has many twists, the biggest of which is that it's kind of a satire.

GRADE
A


The Boxtrolls

A stop-motion romp with near-nekkid trolls and a cross-dressing villain.

GRADE
B-


The Skeleton Twins

A dramedy about suicide elevated by its stars.

GRADE
B


Frank

A band that has a lead singer with a fake head will win your heart.

GRADE
A-


Fury Is Missing Fast

Inside of writer/director David Ayer’s Fury is a tight, 90-minute, “we will hold this line” war movie populated with complex...

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The Adventures of Super Vlad

Left out of the superhero movie party every other studio is throwing, Universal made the ballsy decision to turn Dracula...

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Everyone is Awful

Warning to newly engaged couples: Do not see Gone Girl, a movie that makes marriage look like The Hunger Games with slightly...

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Swimming in the Laika

From Ray Harryhausen’s Medusa to Henry Selick’s Jack Skellington, stop-motion animation is just frickin’ cool, yo. Maybe...

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