Cutting Room for July 4

There are two movies whose rabid fandom I’ve never understood: The Goonies and Hocus Pocus. The former has had a sequel in the works as long as Dr. Dre has been promising to drop “Detox.” The latter had a sequel rumor bubble in its cauldron this week, one that claimed Tina Fey was making. Turns out that’s not true. What is true is that Fey is working on a completely independent new witch movie for Disney. So while we wait to see if this new project becomes an inexplicable cult hit, I’m going to start a rumor that it’s a “Teen Witch” sequel.

Word broke this week that The Expendables 3, yes we’ve let this happen three times now, got a PG-13 rating. Fans of the series, yes there are fans of the series, have expressed dismay, as the only reason anyone watches is for ridiculous R-rated violence. Sadly, this is in no way a reflection on a decreased level of carnage in the upcoming murderfest but an indication that the MPAA ratings board has slouched so far ethically that they will let exploding heads be seen by adolescents. Say a bad word or show a boob though? Whammo! R-rating!

If you’ve never seen a movie from Japanese director and madman Takashi Miike, news that one of his films is being remade into an English-language film may make sense. However, if you’ve seen Audition, the film in question, you probably just did a spit take with whatever beverage you were consuming. The thought of anyone being able to scrape enough of Miike’s whacked-out shock-and-schlock off of that film to make it palatable to American audiences is just hilarious. And by hilarious, I mean whoever is thinking of making this should ask Spike Lee how his Oldboy remake went…

Cutting Room provides breaking local and national movie news … complete with added sarcasm. Send any relevant information to film@thereader.com. Check out Ryan on Movieha!, a weekly half-hour movie podcast, catch him on the radio on CD 105.9 on Fridays at around 7:30 a.m. and on KVNO 90.7 at 8:30 a.m. on Fridays and follow him on Twitter.


entered on 07/03/14 at 12:16 PM | read comments »


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entered on 06/27/14 at 01:09 PM | read comments »


Cutting Room for June 27

I have “the fever.” No, it’s not curable by penicillin or cowbell. It’s World Cup fever, which has given me an understanding of what constitutes offsides in soccer and the knowledge that Ronaldo is a person and not a corporate mascot of some kind. Seems I’m not the only one “futbol happy,” as Aksarben Cinema is heading Next Goal Wins our way. On Wednesday, July 9 at 6:30 pm, the theater is holding a screening of this documentary about “the worst football team on earth” from American Samoa. This real-life Bad News Bears story promises heart, humor and a lot of guys not allowed to use their hands to touch the ball.

The obsession with remaining young has now spread to our theaters, as Film Streams is once again launching their Summer Forever Young Series. It starts on the Fourth of July with A Hard Day’s Night! That’s…kind of an odd choice, promoting British content on the anniversary of our rejection of the United Kingdom. From there, the series will include Eleanor’s Secret (which is that she regrets being named Eleanor), John Hubley Centennial Celebration (because what kid doesn’t love John Hubley?), The Parent Trap (hopefully not the Lohan one…because Lohan…), Anina (which is not how you say “nine” in Italian) and Nocturna (which is a nickname we gave our friend who left parties early). Tickets are just $2.50 for kids! Head to filmstreams.org for showtimes!

I’m not one of those elitists who look down on Young Adult literature from atop their perch of intellectual superiority. If a book is good, it’s good. However, I’ve got no need for something like The Fault in Our Stars because inflicting sadness upon myself is not a hobby of mine. I am, however, potentially excited for the next adaptation of a John Green novel. That’s because talented director/actress Sarah Polley is now helming Looking for Alaska, which is presumably a movie about 2007’s Miss South Carolina. Pairing a director like Polly with virtually any content means I’m in, even if it’s another weepy-eyed extravaganza. 

Cutting Room provides breaking local and national movie news … complete with added sarcasm. Send any relevant information to film@thereader.com. Check out Ryan on Movieha!, a weekly half-hour movie podcast, catch him on the radio on CD 105.9 on Fridays at around 7:30 a.m. and on KVNO 90.7 at 8:30 a.m. on Fridays and follow him on Twitter.


entered on 06/27/14 at 01:04 PM | read comments »


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Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

Those damned apes are back and anything but dirty.

GRADE
B+


We Are the Best

Set in Stockholm in 1982, this is punk rock female adolescence at its finest.

GRADE
A


Snowpiercer

Awesome, literal class warfare on a train that holds the only humans that survived the new ice age.

GRADE
A-


Obvious Child

Billed as a comedy, this is actually a sophisticated, empathetic look at a crucial issue.

GRADE
B+


The Signal

Crazy good and just plain crazy, this is indie sci-fi at its best!

GRADE
A+


Ping Pong Summer

Drowning in 1980s nostalgia, this deserves to be a cult hit.

GRADE
A-


22 Jump Street

A sequel no one could have expected to a movie nobody wanted.

GRADE
A-


Ice, Ice Maybe

I’m not saying that the impoverished are going to grab axes and violently murder the wealthy elite. But I’m also not NOT...

more »


Not So Fast, Rick Santorum

I do not have a uterus. If I understand biology, I never will. So the issue of abortion has remained at arm’s length from...

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Freaky Frequency

For a movie reviewer, having a favorite genre kinda feels like a parent having a favorite child; oh, they totally do,...

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Bad Meaning Good

The popularity of Napoleon Dynamite never really made sense. With its “special” characters and nonsensical elements, the...

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