Report Card

Hereafter = D- Nobody tell Clint Eastwood his movie about death sucks. It may kill him. Red = B AARP-sponsored carnage, with added Malkovich. Never Let Me Go = A Does watching a movie about how depressing it is that life is so short count as irony? ON DVD Scott Pilgrim vs the World = B+ Whoa, these hipsters know kung fu! Secretariat = F If the dialogue doesn’t kill you, you’ll kill...

entered on 11/10/10 at 10:35 PM | read more »


Report Card for October 21, 2010

Easy A = A- Emma Stone more than makes the grade … she makes me swoon. •(READER RECOMMENDS ON DVD) Human Centipedee = B- Just the plot makes me queasy. Look it up for yourself…but don’t do it at work. •Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole = C+ Hey kids, want to fear death by bird? •Secretariat = F If the dialogue doesn’t kill you, you’ll kill yourself. Worst of the...

entered on 10/20/10 at 04:09 PM | read more »



Poke of Genius

The Social Network shows smarties suck Whether owed to a ritual goat sacrifice or a cauldron-cooked potion, mastery of the dark arts is the only way Aaron Sorkin’s script about an insufferable prick compelled by hubris and hormones to create a website out of spite could sizzle like an unpoked hotdog in the microwave. Although The Social Network is surfing atop a hyperbole tsunami that’s...

entered on 10/06/10 at 08:09 PM | read more »


The Giver

This adaptation of Lois Lowry's beloved award-winning classic will be none of those things.

GRADE
D


Boyhood

The only coming-of-age story anyone ever needs to make. 

GRADE
A+


Guardians of the Galaxy

A gleeful space opera that is as visually stunning as it is hilarious.

GRADE
A


Lucy

A girl ingests a drug that makes her God. For real.

GRADE
C+


Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

Those damned apes are back and anything but dirty.

GRADE
B+


We Are the Best

Set in Stockholm in 1982, this is punk rock female adolescence at its finest.

GRADE
A


Snowpiercer

Awesome, literal class warfare on a train that holds the only humans that survived the new ice age.

GRADE
A-


Obvious Child

Billed as a comedy, this is actually a sophisticated, empathetic look at a crucial issue.

GRADE
B+


Grade A-Holes

The proliferation of comic book movies has reached its cultural apex, so thoroughly dominating the box office and public...

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Lucy Goosey

It doesn’t work this way with people, but there’s a level of confident stupidity a movie can display that makes it...

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Fuzzy Focus

Time has whittled mainstream memory of the original late 1960s/early 1970s Planet of the Apes franchise down to an image of...

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“We’re Not a Girl Band”

Punk was always as much about the mentality as the sound, as much about rebellion for rebellion’s sake as it was...

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