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Film

Report Card

Hereafter = D- Nobody tell Clint Eastwood his movie about death sucks. It may kill him. Red = B AARP-sponsored carnage, with added Malkovich. Never Let Me Go = A Does watching a movie about how depressing it is that life is so short count as irony? ON DVD Scott Pilgrim vs the World = B+ Whoa, these hipsters know kung fu! Secretariat = F If the dialogue doesn’t kill you, you’ll kill yourself. Worst of the...


Report Card for October 21, 2010

Easy A = A- Emma Stone more than makes the grade … she makes me swoon. •(READER RECOMMENDS ON DVD) Human Centipedee = B- Just the plot makes me queasy. Look it up for yourself…but don’t do it at work. •Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole = C+ Hey kids, want to fear death by bird? •Secretariat = F If the dialogue doesn’t kill you, you’ll kill yourself. Worst of the year. •The Social Network...


Poke of Genius

The Social Network shows smarties suck Whether owed to a ritual goat sacrifice or a cauldron-cooked potion, mastery of the dark arts is the only way Aaron Sorkin’s script about an insufferable prick compelled by hubris and hormones to create a website out of spite could sizzle like an unpoked hotdog in the microwave. Although The Social Network is surfing atop a hyperbole tsunami that’s included Citizen Kane...


 

De Palma

A documentary about director Brian De Palma in which De Palm talks about De Palma...

GRADE
B

Love and Friendship

An Austen adaptation that's a snoozefest, aside from two stinky performances...

GRADE
D

Independence Day: Resurgence

A bloated, unneeded sequel that's more chaos than cheesy fun.

GRADE
D

Central Intelligence

A buddy action movie where the buddies are put backseat to the "action." 

GRADE
B-

Finding Dory

A sequel to Finding Nemo that is pretty much exactly like Finding Nemo.

GRADE
B

Warcraft

An adaptation of a video game that will be enjoyed solely by people who loved that video game.

GRADE
F

On DVD

Midnight Special

A kid with weird powers is trying to get somewhere to do something that doesn't quite make sense.

GRADE
B-

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