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Report Card

Hereafter = D- Nobody tell Clint Eastwood his movie about death sucks. It may kill him. Red = B AARP-sponsored carnage, with added Malkovich. Never Let Me Go = A Does watching a movie about how depressing it is that life is so short count as irony? ON DVD Scott Pilgrim vs the World = B+ Whoa, these hipsters know kung fu! Secretariat = F If the dialogue doesn’t kill you, you’ll kill yourself. Worst of the...


Report Card for October 21, 2010

Easy A = A- Emma Stone more than makes the grade … she makes me swoon. •(READER RECOMMENDS ON DVD) Human Centipedee = B- Just the plot makes me queasy. Look it up for yourself…but don’t do it at work. •Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole = C+ Hey kids, want to fear death by bird? •Secretariat = F If the dialogue doesn’t kill you, you’ll kill yourself. Worst of the year. •The Social Network...


Poke of Genius

The Social Network shows smarties suck Whether owed to a ritual goat sacrifice or a cauldron-cooked potion, mastery of the dark arts is the only way Aaron Sorkin’s script about an insufferable prick compelled by hubris and hormones to create a website out of spite could sizzle like an unpoked hotdog in the microwave. Although The Social Network is surfing atop a hyperbole tsunami that’s included Citizen Kane...


 

Ex Machina

A brilliant bit of science fiction that works like a tense stage play.

GRADE
A+

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The Hunting Ground

A vastly important documentary on America's college sexual assault epidemic.

GRADE
A+

Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2

The worst thing that ever happened.

GRADE
F

It Follows

If you have sex, a demon monster will haunt you. That's just science.

GRADE
D

Furious 7

It's the 7th Fast and Furious movie. Do you need to know more?

GRADE
A-

'71

Set against the Northern Ireland conflict, this "trapped behind enemy lines" thriller delivers big time.

GRADE
A-

What We Do in the Shadows

A mocumentary about vampires that actually has teeth.

GRADE
A

Kill Me Three Times

Dueling assassins bore in this rip-off of Tarantino, who is himself a notorious ripper-offer...

GRADE
D

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