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Report Card

Hereafter = D- Nobody tell Clint Eastwood his movie about death sucks. It may kill him. Red = B AARP-sponsored carnage, with added Malkovich. Never Let Me Go = A Does watching a movie about how depressing it is that life is so short count as irony? ON DVD Scott Pilgrim vs the World = B+ Whoa, these hipsters know kung fu! Secretariat = F If the dialogue doesn’t kill you, you’ll kill yourself. Worst of the...


Report Card for October 21, 2010

Easy A = A- Emma Stone more than makes the grade … she makes me swoon. •(READER RECOMMENDS ON DVD) Human Centipedee = B- Just the plot makes me queasy. Look it up for yourself…but don’t do it at work. •Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole = C+ Hey kids, want to fear death by bird? •Secretariat = F If the dialogue doesn’t kill you, you’ll kill yourself. Worst of the year. •The Social Network...


Poke of Genius

The Social Network shows smarties suck Whether owed to a ritual goat sacrifice or a cauldron-cooked potion, mastery of the dark arts is the only way Aaron Sorkin’s script about an insufferable prick compelled by hubris and hormones to create a website out of spite could sizzle like an unpoked hotdog in the microwave. Although The Social Network is surfing atop a hyperbole tsunami that’s included Citizen Kane...


 

Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie

The cult-classic TV show is now a movie...that will only appeal to said cult members.

GRADE
D

Star Trek Beyond

A truly Trek-esque installment of a delightfully rebooted franchise.

GRADE
A-

Tickled

A documentary about underground tickling fetishism that will make you squirm.

GRADE
A-

Reader Recommends

Ghostbusters

A vibrant reboot that deserves a boatload of sequels.

GRADE
A-

Wiener-Dog

A dark comedy that defies easy summation and must be experienced to be understood!

GRADE
A-

Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates

A vulgar comedy either ruined by the men or saved by the women, depending on how you see it.

GRADE
C

On DVD

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

A nonsensical, boring, ugly take on two of the world's most beloved superheroes.

GRADE
F

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