Weekend Box Office Results: Guess who won the week?

Another week, another discussion about Avatar. The big news is this: It should be Titanic worldwide within 10 days and should be number 2 domestically all time by Sunday. It has a decent shot to end up number 1 domestically as well. My favorite thing is how people are bitching about inflation and how ticket sales don't mean that blah, blah, blah, blah. It made more money than anything else before it ever (or at least it's going to). That's impressive and crazy. If you want to burn your candle at the shrine of Gone with the Wind, so be it. Just realize that if you start harping about how the true measure is ticket sales you're claiming that we should revere 101 Dalmations because it would be number 11 all-time according to that chart. Anyway, on to the issue at hand.

Here are the MLKJR weekend results (haiku style):

1.) Avatar - $54 million (Accuracy of prediction - 90%)

Golden Globe winner?
You have to be kidding right?
You mean People's Choice.

2.) Book of Eli - $38 million (Accuracy of prediction - 90%)

Love Mila Kunis.
Love Denzel Washington, too.
But that all may change...

3.) The Lovely Bones - $20 million (Accuracy of prediction - 55%)

I can't believe this!
Mixed reviews and creepy plot?
Y'all must love Jackson.

4.) Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel - $15 million (Accuracy of prediction - 87%)

This film worries me.
Its success defies logic.
Make the chipmunks stop.

5.) The Spy Next Door - $13 million (Accuracy of prediction - 86%)

Don't worry, Jackie.
We'll all forget this happened.
But not Kung Fu Kid.

Overall accuracy of prediction - 81.5%

Another week done.
Where is all the time going?
James Cameron bought it?

Okay, that's it. Happy Monday on a Tuesday (for those easily confused, it is Tuesday).

Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions

This is starting to get repetitive. Avatar, Avatar, Avatar. Blah, blah, blah. How in the world can I spice this up and break the monotony?

There, all better. Now we can move on to discussing the intricate ins and outs of the weekend box office stuffs. Oh, and we're going to be doing the three-day weekend thing because I have Monday off (yeah, no bloggy blog on that day, I'm out of town). Here's how I see this weekend breaking down, haiku style.

1.) Avatar - $43 million

The Dark Knight is next
on its box office onslaught.
Will Titanic hold?

2.) The Book of Eli - $30 million

Spoiler Alert Time
I know the secret book's name:
"Tuesdays with Morrie."

3.) Alvin and the Chipmunks The Squeakquel - $14 million

I'm sick of this too.
When will the chipmunks be gone?
Exterminate them.

4.) The Spy Next Door - $12 million

Poor old Jackie Chan
First Rush Hour 3 and now this
Stop making me sad.

5.) Sherlock Holmes - $11 million

Elementary.
That's a good descriptor here.
We knew this would rule.

WILDCARD - The Lovely Bones - $10 million

Not a crowd pleaser...
and not a critic pleaser.
That does not bode well.

Okay gang. That's it. Have a lovely 3-day weekend (if you get it). Stay safe, have fun and see you next week.

Weekend Box Office Results: This is getting Avatar-ded

Likely by the end of the day, Avatar will be in the top 5 domestic films of all time. It has also closed the worldwide gap on Titanic to $513 million. That's a big number, sure, but it probably has at least $100-150 million more domestically that it will rake in, leaving just over $350 million to tally overseas. If it keeps pulling in $100 million a weekend from around the globe...we may be looking at a new champion. God, that is really just staggering. Especially since it (A) wasn't all that great and (B) had terrible buzz early on. Really, that's just the exact same formula as Titanic, huh? Yeah, I think that movie is mediocre, too...it just got lucky and had Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio in it, so people THOUGHT it was better than it actually was. But I digress. We're in there here and now, so here is some haiku-style results now:

1.) Avatar - $48.5 million (Accuracy of prediction - 97%)

Highest fourth weekend.
Biggest ever 3D film.
Least humble helmer.

2.) Sherlock Holmes - $16.5 (Accuracy of prediction - 84%)

What a nice big hit
complete with some gay subtext
Mention that often.

3.) Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel - $16 million (Accuracy of prediction - 78%)

Let's name the third one:
How about the Squeal-o-gy?
Or, JUST DON'T MAKE IT.

4.) Daybreakers - $15 million (Accuracy of prediction - 93.5%)

Non-sparkle vampires
Can't earn the same box office.
Wow, that really sucks.

5.) It's Complicated - $11 million (Accuracy of prediction - 98%)

Here's some food for thought:
Ephron is Tyler Perry
for old white women.

Overall accuracy of prediction - 90%

Another A week!
Avatar is good for ALL!
I forgive you, Jim!

Okay, that's it for now guys. Enjoy your Monday!

Fearless, Flawless Box Office Predictions

Let's start with the update from Avatarwatch - James Cameron has now directed the two biggest box office hits in the world...ever. In less than a month, Cameron's blue people have totaled the second highest gross in history. By Sunday, the movie will have made more than $400 million domestically and will be the sole owner of the highest fourth weekend total ever. It should fairly easily cruise past The Dark Knight, leaving only Titanic to beat domestically, with the question remaining: Can it beat the boat?

Here's how I see this weekend (haiku style):

1.) Avatar - $45 million

The Na'vi are blue
But I would bet Fox is not
I'd say they are green.

2.) Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel - $20 million

I will not see this
Not on a dare or a bet
Not now, not ever

3.) Sherlock Holmes - $18 million

Holy gay undertones!
A producer hates that talk.
So let's keep it up.

4.) Daybreakers - $17 million

They sold this one wrong.
The ads should have said, "Hey girls,
do you like vampires?"

5.) Leap Year - $14 million

Love Amy Adams.
Hate generic romance flicks.
Guess I'm conflicted.

WILDCARD - It's Complicated - $10.5 million

When you think of it.
It is not complicated.
It's just not for me.

Okay gang, that's it. Have a wonderful weekend! I'll be back later to beg for money from you.

Weekend Box Office Results: We all owe Jimmy Cameron an apology

It's too early to do this, I know, but somebody has to ask...does Avatar have a chance at taking the global box office all-time title? After next weekend it is going to be number two all-time and will likely eclipse $400 million domestic, making it 2009's top-grossing film (I don't care if it was split between 2009/2010, it helps to wipe the poop stain that is Transformers 2 off the collective cultural underpants). Jimmy C will officially have the top 2 films EVER. That's insane. What say you? Does it have another $700 million in it, or is 2nd all time where it stops? Lord, go back in time about 2 months and tell me that I'm asking this question and I won't believe you. Actually, if you came from the future and THAT was what you wanted to ask/tell me, I would do more to you than just not believe you. Anyway, here's this week's results, haiku style.

1.) Avatar - $68 million (Accuracy of prediction - 92.5%)

I can't believe it.
James Cameron really IS king.
He should so Knight me.

2.) Sherlock Holmes - $38 million (Accuracy of prediction - 92%)

A franchise is born!
Who will play Moriarty?
Still hoping Brad Pitt!

3.) Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel - $36 million (Accuracy of prediction - 92%)

Two chipmunk movies,
and no Thundercat movies.
Where is the justice?

4.) It's Complicated - $18.5 million (Accuracy of prediction - 96%)

Hey, I had a thought:
This is kind of like Twilight...
but for old people.

5.) The Blind Side - $12.5 million (Accuracy of prediction - 86%)

I have nothing left.
This movie won't go away.
I have New-Moon-itis.

Overall accuracy of prediction - 92%

Wow! I got an A!
Twenty ten has a good start...
but this too shall pass.

Okay gang, happy Monday! Remember, Christmas vacation is a mere 50 weeks away!

Fearless, Flawless Predictions

As you likely guessed by this post, I ain't bloggin' tomorrow. Sorry. You'll be hung over anyway. So will I. I want you to enjoy yourself out there. Eat some food. See a movie. Drink a beer. Eat a beer movie. Live it up.

Here are the last predictions of aught nine (haiku style):

1.) Avatar - $58 million

I guess we were wrong.
This is a big, fat ole hit.
It's budget was fine.

2.) Sherlock Holmes - $44 million

Elementary
Downey Jr is a God.
Johnny Depp, suck it.

3.) Alvin and the Chipmunks The Squekquel - $30 million

The Chipmunks won't leave
They're little high-pitched assholes.
Does that sound bitter?

4.) It's Complicated - $17 million

Old people love this
They remember Steve Martin.
Meryl Streep does rule.

5.) The Blind Side - $9 million

200 million?
For a Bullock football film?
Where is the punchline?

WILDCARD - Up in the Air - $9 million

Oscars are coming
Best believe this has a chance
It's Clooney-rific!

That's it gang! Happy, happy, happy New Year. Click on my ads. That's the last desperate plea for cash I'll make this year!